Shootout at Lokhandwala

I saw 'Shootout at Lokhandwala' last night. Although technically I didn't 'see' a lot of it. There was so much blood and gore, I had to keep covering my eyes.

You might think, gosh, how many films are they going to make on Police vs Bombay Underworld. Yet, each has its own distinct character and style. So while 'Shootout' covers much the same ground you can't call it boring.

The violence in 'Shootout' put me off but I think it is integral to the film. The whole point was to convey the fact that for gangsters like Maya and Buwa killing was a cool sport. They didn't even operate under the 'code of honour' (if you can call it that!) of the D company. So what if Builder X is paying bhai, hamara man kiya to hum usse bhi paise lenge.

Of course 'Shootout' is extremely filmi compared to the docu-reality style of a 'Black Friday'. But Black Friday was based on a book, about an event whose memory is seared in the public consciousness.

'Shootout', on the other hand is based on an incident which caused a sensation in its time but which has been forgotten by all except perhaps the residents of Swati building, where the siege took place. Hence the director and writer have taken liberties with the truth.

The film does higlight a couple of points:
# In the closing credits, there is a line which says during the period the Anti Terrorist Squad (ATS) was active, crime in Mumbai went down 70%. Yet the ATS was disbanded shortly before the 1993 serial blasts.

The reason, perhaps, was the recklessness with which the ATS had begun to operate. The shootout in a residential building being a case in point.

While I do agree that the police had no option but 'eent ka jawaab eent, paththar ka paththar' in the long run the encounter route is not sustainable. It makes a jaanwar out of the police and in the hands of those who aren't exactly ethical, it makes the officer a pawn.

Even in this shootout, it is hinted that Dawood tipped off the police about Maya & co's location. The idea being to eliminate a thorn in his side.

# It's not clear why ATS ie anti TERRORIST squad was running after the underworld. Maya and co were causing terror but only to extract money which they could lavish on bargirls. Not to run covert operations against the country!

# The ATS killing off some Sikh militants in the beginning of the film is a chilling reminder of how - just 15 years ago - we had a different kind of terrorist problem. Luckily, that's been tackled but you never can tell from where and how passions will be inflamed . It could be for a homeland, for a quota, or even just 'mere feelings hurt ho gaya hain'.

So, should you watch the film? Probably not. Unless you like 'blood ki Holi' type cinema. The acting has been soundly criticised - especially Tusshar Kapoor in the role of a 'ruthless killer'.

His mom is the producer of the film, bhai. If Maya Dolas ki ma usey gangster bana sakti thi to Tusshar ki mummy bhi koi kam hain kya?

Cheeni kum, conviction zyada

I saw 'Cheeni Kum' last night. It is a brilliantly crafted movie.

The casting is perfect. The acting outstanding. The dialogue witty. Just about everything in the film screams "This has not been attempted before in Bollywood". And the amazing thing is, it works.

Except maybe the last bit, where the precocious kid got irritating and Amitabh went berserk at the Ashoka pillar.It kind of spoils the overall understated effect of the film.

I won't attempt a review because it would just be a repeat of what my friend Apu has already said here.

Cinematic excellence apart, I found the character played by Tabu to be most refreshing.

Witness this scene, when her father goes on a 'satyagraha', hoping his 34 year old daughter will call off her plan to marry the 64 year old Amitabh.

"Papa, kuch kha lijiye.."

"Kya tu us buddhe ko chhod degi?"

"Nahin.."

"To phir main kuch nahin khaoonga".

"Jaisi aapki marzi", she says calmly and walks out of the room.

A hunger strike may be a bit extreme. But these kind of power struggles are commonly enacted in our homes and especially at this time of the year, when students make choices related to careers.

What Neena Varma shows you is that if you know what you want and are determined to have it, no one can 'force' you into a different direction. Yes, marrying a guy 30 years older than you is not common. But agar meri khushi isi main hai and I am prepared to bear the consequences, then so be it.

"I love you, you're my dad, but finally it's my life!"

The trouble is few of us stand up for ourselves because we are unsure. We hesitate. We vacillate. We bow down. And then tell others, "Yaar... mere parents yahi chahte the."

The moral of the story is: if you stand firm for what you believe in, the world will come around to accept it. Let your passion burn bright - be it for a person, profession or philosophy of life. Fuel it with conviction. Only a candle in the wind is snuffed out by the slightest drizzle of disapproval.

If there is fire in your belly, it will burn on!

Looking for a web designer/ developer

JAM is developing a couple of interesting new websites and to make it happen, we need people who live and breathe the internet.

We're looking for:
a) Web developer: Must have a passion to make a difference, and be comfortable with joomla/ drupal.

b) Web designer: A keen aesthetic sense and understanding of Html, Dhtml, CSS, Photoshop.

If you'd like to be part of a small and motivated team which has big dreams and a definite, and different direction for the future email rashmi_b at yahoo.com.

We are looking for people who can work full time. Or at the very least, on a project basis for minimum 3 months.

Things people notice

On the road. From Ludhiana to Chandigarh, and then on to Shimla, I amuse myself with a mental contest: "Most Creatively named Dhaba'.

But first, a word on the most uncreatively named dhaba. That khitaab goes to the 'Punjabi' dhaba, with 'New Punjabi' dhaba coming in a close second. After all, what can you get in a dhaba but Punjabi food. Chicken, black dal and the omnipresent alu gobhi!

The also rans list includes:
New Frontier dhaba
Taaran taran dhaba
Dimple dhaba
Fauji dhaba
Bunty Shunty dhaba (I kid you not!)
Din raat dhaba
Sunny full stop dhaba

The runners up prize goes to: Dhaba Non Stop dhaba. The name sounds all the more corny juxtaposed with the Airtel branding.

But the prize for 'Most Creative Dhaba Name' goes to: the one and only 'Indo German Vaishno Dhaba' near the Neelon bridge, on the outskirts of Ludhiana. I am sure they serve the same black dal, yellow gobhi and kadak brown chai as any other dhaba in Punjab. Still, I like their global attitude.

Why Indo German and not Indo Swiss? Next time around I shall definitely stop, seek out the owner and solve the mystery!

But the more interesting issue was raised by my daughter. The same highway landscape provoked this question:" Why are all the shops here named 'Amrit Lal and sons', 'Pyare mohan and sons', 'Tara Singh and sons'... Why not daughters?"

The signage on dhabas may change but society and convention will take much longer. Maybe a few more generations!

My brand.. my brand.. my brand

Get a life. The 'consumer' is a human being for whom your brand is one of N million life choices. And unless you are something iconic, like the ipod, little more than that.

But professionals who spend all their waking hours - and perhaps their sleeptime as well - thinking of how to 'touch their consumers lives' don't quite get it.

A large multinational once sponsored a section of JAM magazine called 'Campus Buzz'. One of the regular columns in these pages was 'Hangouts'. Way back when Barista was a cool place where people played scrabble and strummed the guitar instead of holding quickie job interviews over coffee, we featured it.

Large Multinational Client (LMC) threw a fit. You see, this company also sells coffee. He felt we had violated cardinal principles and promoted a 'rival brand'.

We did not see it that way at all. And neither, I think, did the all important consumer. The choice is not: should I drink coffee at home, or should I go out and drink it at a coffee shop. If you like coffee, you do both.

In fact the boom in coffee shops would have made made coffee more popular in a tea drinking nation, IMHO. But, no sir. LMC cancelled his contract and maintained a cold war with us... For years.

I recalled this incident while reading Santosh Desai's column today on agencyfaqs. Santosh talks about why brands are unable to harness the power of the digital media. He writes:

I think the real problem is not that the internet in India is not ready for us, but that we don’t know how to use it. And this gap is not a technical one, but one involving a mindset...We want to control the narrative; we see ourselves as the creative prophets whose word the listeners must follow.

The very notion of creation undergoes a change when the user is involved; everyone becomes an artist. Creation becomes a function of collaboration over time. The idea that all work is unfinished, that eventually we, the owners of brands have no way of guaranteeing an outcome is too radical for most conventional marketers to be comfortable with.

Which is why we are quick to adopt that part of the digital world that fits into our existing frame of advertising. We have trouble with the part where we have to let go, where we surrender to the consumer. This is extremely uncomfortable since we have always believed that we, the emitters of message, are the owners of brands and they, the consumers, are part of some strange phylum of an even stranger genus that needs to be observed under the microscope called a focus group.

Look at the websites of the leading corporations of the world; they still speak in the crypto-corporate speak that signals their absolute terror of having a real conversation with the consumer.

Line of Control
Suppose a consumer gives a bad review of your product and it gets printed in a newspaper or magazine, what do you do? You assume they must have an ulterior motive (doosre brand ki PR agency ne unko paise diye honge). If you happen to be an advertiser with said publication, you threaten to withdraw your support.

Most journalists know which side their bread is buttered and will somehow cook up a product review which is moderately critical at best. The safest thing is to just list down the product specifications or print the press release verbatim.

A lot of advertising is linked to this press release garbage being printed verbatim as a 'value add'.

But then came the internet. You can't control what's said here, your advertising clout is irrelevant. If someone thinks your product tastes bad, well that's that. You can dismiss him as a crank or think to yourself, "Here is a voice that's not coming through to me on focus groups".

Let's face it - most of those groups are attended by 'professionals'. I was once part of a FGD on cooking oil (don't ask - favour for a friend!) and later found that all the housewives present did this on a regular basis. Kind of like a kitty party where you go home with a Shoppers' Stop voucher.

They know what clients want to hear. And that's further packaged by the MR agency into a document full of gobbledygook. "Cover Your Ass" research, it's called. If the product fails you have the report to wave around and say 'but we tested the concept extensively'!

The only industry which has learnt the art of letting go is entertainment. Movie companies invite journalists and other audiences for previews and special shows, without expectating a positive review. Music companies also know that opinions have a life of their own - they can't be controlled.

Of course these companies have the advantage of producing new 'products' on a regular basis. If one film bombs, there's always another release around the corner.

And, there's no accounting for public taste. Often the films with poor reviews get sizable audiences.

In sum, brands need to be less obsessive. Perhaps even less 'innovative'. The new trend is to start a site to 'engage' the customers around some kind of broad theme related to the brand. Most of these sites also use the brand name in the url.

By this logic, when satellite TV took off in India, large brands should've set up their own TV channels!

A website is relatively cheap to set up, so sure, brands are able and willing to experiment. But as long as the Creators see the end user as a 'consumer' it will never really work. When someone 'targets' you - there is an uneasy feeling.

Whether it's in the literal or metaphoric sense.

Migration: you can't stop it - II

American Consular Officer: "How do we know you'll come back to India?"

Student: "Sir, my roots are here - my family, my property, my business... I want to study in America, but I will come back and put my education to good use."

Hundreds and thousands of Indian students have given this earnest answer at their visa interview. A significant number never return. You have to wonder - why bother to ask? Because the idea of America, to a large extent, is to attract the brightest and the best from around the world.

But I guess can't give out the impression yahan visa party chal rahi hai -'everyone's invited'. We don't really want your tired, huddled and poor. That's so last century.

So both sides play out the charade but the visa officer knows there's a 95% chance the guy on full scholarship to Stanford is unlikely to return anytime soon. That in a couple of years his parents will be applying for 10 year multiple entry visas instead.

The H 1 B tangle
Of course, getting a job after a Bachelor's, or Master's in the US is apparently not a cakewalk. An employer needs to prove there is no American citizen or permanent resident skilled for enough to take on that particular job, in order to sponsor your visa. The company must want you pretty badly to go to that much trouble.

With Indian IT companies cornering more and more H1B visas in recent years, things seem to be getting tougher.

Businessweek reports: When Abhishek Sehgal came to the U.S. to pursue an MBA at the University of Texas McCombs School of Business, he expected to get some work experience in the country. But the second-year MBA student from India didn't anticipate it would be so difficult to get a visa to work after graduation.

Citigroup (C), the 28-year-old's future employer, submitted his H-1B visa application on Apr. 2, the first day petitions were accepted. But the pool of applicants was already oversubscribed, and Sehgal's application wasn't chosen in a random computer selection.

Abhishek has a few options. After completing his degree requirements, he can try his luck in a visa pool for candidates with Master's degrees. That's 20,000 visas above and beyond the H1B - for students who've completed advanced degrees in the US. Citi could also take him for a one-year "practical training" under his student visa and he can reapply for an H1B next year.

Sehgal is one of many international MBA candidates who's caught in a visa bind. With only 65,000 H-1B visas available for professional-level workers across all sectors for the 2008 fiscal year, the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services received 123,480 eligible applications on Apr. 2 and Apr. 3. After a computer lottery, about half the applicants were rejected.

The H1 B issue also affects another student group- the ones who've studied in India but secured the much hyped 'foreign placement'.

So even as the papers went gaga over the Lime group picking up IIT grads for $90,000 a year, the reality is that some of those who got the job never made it to New York. They did not get an H1 B visa.

Says one affected student: "Microsoft hired for US positions (at IIT) and then almost simply dropped their new hires because of the H1b mess (did not even give India positions), Merril Lynch took people to UK, same with Deutsche Bank, Capital One kept few people in India and moved rest to England and Canada.

LimeWire opened an India office. This year also many companies are in trouble including Bloomberg".

Not that working in India or Europe isn't a good experience. But the free flow of labour - at both lower and higher end of the job spectrum - remains more of a dream than tangible reality.

The Change Ahead
But thinking Americans are worried - talent migrating elsewhere to work and study may affect the land built on Immigrant Energy in the long run. Reforms are now being considered.

A new proposal - the Skilled Worker Immigration and Fairness Act - introduced by Senators Chuck Hagel (Republican) and Joseph Lieberman (Democrat). This act seeks to raise the existing cap on H1B visas to 115,000 and go upto 180,000 in years to come.

More importantly, the proposal seeks to allow a limitless number of H1B visas and green cards for foreigners with master's degrees or higher in any field from an American university. Or for anyone with such credentials in maths, science, technology or engineering from abroad.

This news was gleefully highlighted on page one of the Times of India late last week. They may as well have headlined it 'Chalo America'! Aapka bachpan ka sapna ab poora ho sakta hai.

Will the bill actually get passed? I am doubtful.

Because however attractive the proposal may be to industry and acadmia, there is a strong possibility of a backlash from the average American. When you let more immigrants in - using the 'talent' argument - there is a natural fear that 'my job could be at risk'.

The new guys may not be attractive only for their skills...

A December 2005 study by the Centre for Immigration Studies (CIS) found that 85% of those working in the US on H1B visas get paid less than US workers in the same occupation and state. $13,000 less, on average. This is against the law.

The study found that 36% of all H1B visas were issued to Indians, and occupation wise computer professionals dominate (25% of visas).

Based on this report, 9 Indian companies have been asked to provide details of how they use the H1 B. As Shubham Singhal notes in his blog, there is definitely some gochi. He writes:

Last year Infosys requested 22,590 H1b visas. Infosys has a total strength of around 70,000. Is it sending more than 25% of its employees overseas? I don't think so.

Moreover Infosys generally sends people overseas who stick with the company for sometime and hence L1 visa is suited for them. Then why do they want H1b?s? Plus let me add that they also have H1b visa holders from previous years. Have all these people left? I think this is just a pure misuse of the visa program.

Now, one may argue, as Basab Pradhan does, that for IT companies whose revenues come chiefly from the US, H1-B visas are like 'raw material'. "If they don’t have them they can’t start projects and this impacts revenue immediately"

Anil comments, in response: Wipro are trying to retain staff. I just came to know from an insider that Wipro has filed H1 B visas for all their employees in a particular practice (for which the count runs in hundreds) for a specific project even though the requirement is only for 2 persons. And those 2 persons are already in US under L1.

Cynical but could be true, because the chief carrot for IT staffers remains "foreign jaane ko milega".

There's so much desperation in this community for H1Bs that a desi consultants racket has apparently sprung up. Brijesh has an insightful post on his blog where he details how all it takes is $4000. These guys will create a fake resume loaded with work ex, fake job, fake paycheque - the works.

Within the first 5 minutes he will ask you this question “How old are you?” Why? The older you are the more experience they can show in the fake resume they prepare. My wife is 25 years old and many desi consultants are ready to hire her. When we told them that she doesn’t have any experience in the IT field this is what one of the consultant told us:

”Any year you lived after the age of 18 can be converted to relevant experience by making a fake resume. So to apply for H1B you need to be only 23 years. Any one above 23 years can easily get a H1B visa”.

Many of these consultants are frauds, making them no different from the agents who promise labourers jobs in theGulf or middlemen who weave dreams of a safe passage to Greece to the youth of Punjab. And now, our 'honourable' MPs as well...

Education is no barrier to being conned. The dreams are the same - only the sales pitch and the spit n polish different.

The Bitter Truth
The Americans are hotly debating the issue here . One gentleman argues: "Labor is work, not product, and if you are going to stand up and tell the US government you cannot possibly find a US Employee to do the job, and must bring in someone from another country to do it, you should be paying an abjectly high premium".

He adds: Look, here is EXACTLY how H1B works the vast majority of the time, and I know this because I’ve been in the meetings where the decisions were being made to do it! List for a job posting offering 50-80% of the market rate for the skill set you need... of course you can’t find anyone with decent skills to take the job.. so you then hire someone H1B and pay them 50-80% of what you should be paying.

You weren’t in a situation where you couldn’t find an american to do the job, you set up a situation where you couldn’t find an american to do the job for WHAT YOU WANTED TO PAY... not that there was no american who could do it... so instead of the company being forced to simply adjust to market situations, you give them a trump card to avoid the market forces, using government interference.

That’s all you have going on with H1B... its a COMPLETE and total scam, its a short circuit of the market, and to argue its “free market” is repugnant.

Well it may be repugnant but that is life. Skills are important but immigrant labour is attractive because it is willing to work for less. And longer and harder hours, as well

This holds true whether it's a Mexican restaurant worker, a Pakistani cab driver or an Indian IT engineer. Or the Biharis and UPites who stream in to Mumbai, Delhi and Kolkata. Not to forget the Bangladeshis who simply jump our border - no passport, no visa.

No quick and easy solutions here.. the debate continues!

Migration : you can't stop it! - part 1

Big adda - or big anda?

Social networking is the next big thing. Correction - the current big thing. Anything 'big' and naturally, an Ambani needs to get into it. And I mean literally.

After the Big 92.7 FM stations, we now have a 'big adda' - an orkut-myspace clone from Reliance ADA. This is something like Rupert Murdoch deciding to create a myspace - instead of buying it out from some dudes.

Can it work? Hell, no.

When you join Myspace 'Tom' is your first friend. He is a real guy, a cool guy. Someone I want as a friend, if only in a notional sense.

When I register at Bigadda, I get this slob as my first friend. No kidding! And a message that reads:

"Hey friend! Welcome to Bigadda. Boss here, the dude of this wonderful place. Any queries, comments or feedback - Just scribble me and I will take care of it. Enjoy!" Sheesh.

The second problem is Bigadda is a free for all. Although they claim 'the website is accessible to internet users only via invitation' that is so not true. Anyone can join. In fact, you don't even have to be a member to see the profiles on the site.

Lastly, myspace caught on with young people. The average age of the recent Bigadda registrant appears to be 28. The age distribution is something like this (each page contains 24 profiles)

Males:
Age 16-20 - 4 pages
Age 20-25 - 17 pages
Age 25 -35 - 22 pages
Age 36-50 - 4 pages
Age 50-59 - 8 profiles

Females:
Age 16-20 - 14 profiles
Age 20-25 - 3 pages
Age 25 -35 - 3 pages
Age 36-50 - 6 profiles
age 50-59 - 0 profiles

As anyone in the s-n business knows, like attracts like. With tons of middle and aging folks on Bigadda which young people would see it as a cool hangout??

Now maybe Reliance figured that cool young Indians are on orkut (and now a bunch of them is moving to Facebook). So instead of weaning them away - too much hard work - let's just attack a different set of people. Bored office workers.

In fact who says a s-n site is for the young only? People of any age should be free to join. Why should Bigadda discriminate against people over the age of 59?? Let a hundred profiles over a hundred bloom. Let this be the site where the lonely octogenarian finds people with whom to swap tales of lost and found dentures...

Considering the user generated content on the site right now, that sounds seriously interesting!

Early morning internet

44% of Brazilians read in the bathroom, according to the study; in Saudi Arabia, 10% of respondents do.

More than half of all Indian respondents surf the Web before leaving the house, while less than one-third of Americans or Canadians do.

About 80% of Saudi Arabians pray or meditate before work; in Germany, 3% of respondents do.

- data from a BBDO survey on 'daily rituals' around the world, via PSFK.

Hmmm... wonder what the bathroom reading figure for India might be! I'd like to do a similar study, focussing just on the youth.

Asking stuff like... how many people take their cellphones into the loo. How many skip breakfast, by accident or design. And how many wake up feeling like shit everyday - because of late night TV/ orkut!

Meanwhile, I can feel 'normal', logging in to check my mail and even put up a quick blog post, just before leaving for work. Now that I have a Reliance Netconnect modem, this ritual should rightfully drop out of my day. Except it's a bit of a pain to stare at a laptop screen in broad daylight...

Guest blog by Rajeev Karwal

... on the Jobokplease blog.

FLAME: Education with a difference

Prof Indira Parikh retired in August 2005 from IIM A. She was one of the longest serving and most loved profs on campus. A professor in the OB area, she was best known for her involvement with the ERI program.

ERI - Exploring Roles and Identity - is a unique aspect of the curriculum at IIM A. An optional 'course' ERI takes you to an off-campus location (beach/ forest/ mountains) and all you do over 4 days is introspect. About who you are, what you wish to be, the things that hold you back, the regrets, hopes and fears you have.

I believe the program was originally conceived by Prof Pulin Garg, but for a whole generation of IIM A students Indira = ERI. Of course, there were other 'facilitators' - such as the wise and wonderful Sushanto.

The reason I am writing this, however, is not to recount days gone by. But to celebrate the future. Post retirement, Prof Parikh has set up FLAME - the Foundation for Liberal and Management Education. The initiative is funded by Parag and Nemish Shah and aims to impart 'holistic education'. Set up on a 75 acre campus on the outskirts of Pune, FLAME takes in students from this July.

FLAME has 3 programs:
- a 4 year undergrad course which promises 'the freedom to design your own education across science, humanities, management and creative arts'.

Students will graduate with a FLAME diploma in liberal education and a BA or a BBA (for which affiliation is being sought from Pune University). The course is fully residential.

- a 2 year MBA where students will take up liberal arts subjects along with the regular MBA course material. Emphasis will be given to personal growth, inter-personal skills and all round development.

- a 2 year 'MBA in Mass Media' which integrates creative and management skills for those interested in a career in the media.

FLAME also promises to revive the 'guru-shishya' parampara. Student teacher ratio will be 1: 14. There is an impressive roster of eminent visiting faculty, including specialist teachers from the UK to teach English literature!

Here's what I think:
The 4 year undergrad course which offers a more flexible curriculum is most welcome. As is the inclusion of liberal arts and emphasis on all round personal development. I think the undergrad course serves a real need - a gap in the market - and will find takers. But mainly with those thinking of studying abroad. Because it is expensive - Rs 3.62 lakhs per annum (which means Rs 14 lakhs for 4 years!).

The two year courses cost Rs 11 lakhs (Rs 5.52 lakhs per annum). That might deter many from the MBA, although I do think that the kind of spin FLAME is giving to the MBA is much needed.

The media course sounds a bit odd to me. In media you either join the creative side or the management side. Of course, exposure to both does not hurt... But the cost could be a turn-off. It's 5 times as expensive as Asian College of Journalism!

But then there aren't as many media schools as bschools. And yes, loans are available from Centurion Bank.

As a concept, FLAME sounds exciting. With Indira the helm, I am hopeful they can pull it off. My only concern is there has not been much publicity - and the pool of applicants may be small and not diverse enough.

FLAME should not turn into a cool school for rich kids!

Incidentally, the former director of SCMHRD, Prof M S Pillai, set up SCMLD (Sadhana Centre for Management and Leadership Development) in 2004. The institute offers a 2 year 'MBA with a difference'. For example, yoga and meditation form a compulsory part of the curriculum.

The support of former SCMHRD students has been crucial to the success of SCMLD. Although again, not enough people know about SCMLD and most would still prefer the conventional management institutes.

But it's good to see academics with vision and drive become, in a sense, 'educational entrepreneurs'.

Prof Bala Balachandran of Great Lakes Institute of Management, Chennai is the other name that comes to mind in this context.

I believe institutions led by academic-entrepreneurs are a new trend. These institutes stand a better chance of becoming brand names than a school set up by regular Mr Moneybags, who sees education merely as a business opportunity.

Faculty, placement, quality of students - the reputation and network of the founder makes a perceptible difference to all these crucial aspects.

Of course, in the longer run it's systems, processes and overall philosophy which results in Institutions of Enduring Value... Which live on long after their founders.

But this is a good start!

JAM Engineering College Ratings - Final Update

UPDATE, MAY 2008: The JAM Engineering Admissions Guide is now out. You can order a copy online at 15% discount from here. It is also available at leading bookshops across India, distributed by IBD.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The survey is done, the book being composed and the website under construction. The fruits of all these efforts should be visible in early June.

Thank you all, for your feedback and participation. And a few final requests. After going through the matter we found some bits of information missing and/ or inadequate. Hence would request write ups on the following.

Overview of engineering education for the following states:
- Himachal
- Uttaranchal
- Chhatisgarh
- Madhya Pradesh
- Goa
- Tamil Nadu
- Karnataka

The last two - we do have write ups - but they don't do justice.

If interested, please email me rashmi_b at yahoo.com and we'll send you guidelines. But, we need the matter in a bit of a hurry - a week at best.

If you can't write but would like to simply share the info you have with us that's ok as well. Drop me a line with your contact no.

A couple of other topics we need short write ups on:
- Unusual courses at IITs
- Coaching Class scene - Kota and others

After Engineering
We'd also like a few paras from some of you who are:
- working in core engineering jobs (civil, chemical etc)
- engineers who went into research
- engineers who went into something completely unrelated

You could give your brief background and share the journey so far, in brief.

Lastly, if anyone has any tips or specific advice for engineering aspirants - even if it's just a para - please send it in. We are including a lot of 'tidbits'.

And yes, those of you who have contributed articles will receive a cheque from us this month. In case you haven't sent your address, pls do so at the earliest!

JAM 'Downloads' Survey

JAM is coming up with a special issue on the 'Download' culture. It would be great if you could take two minutes to fill out this brief questionnaire.

In case you aren't in college anymore, put in wherever you studied and year of graduation into that space.

We're also looking for:
- an IITian who can write abt the download culture in the institute
- anyone who can do a humourous piece along the lines of a 'Day in the life of a Downloading Freak'. Perhaps, 'night' would be more appropriate.

Any other kind of contributions on this subject are most welcome. Email me at rashmi_b at yahoo.com

'Affirmative Action', Symbiosis style

Taking yet another historic step towards empowering India's masses by spreading the light of knowledge, Symbiosis International University voluntarily decides to implement the recommended 27% seat allocation for OBC students. This is being done by creating additional seats over and above the sanctioned intake of each programme...

- ad in leading newspapers earlier this week.

This increase starts with a 7% hike in seats this year, going upto 27% in two years time.

This ad was cannily released right after the IIMs released their admission list, minus OBC quota. The OBC question will come up once again for hearing on May 8 in the Supreme Court.

Given the time the judicial system is likely to take, the OBC issue may remain unresolved by the time the academic session begins in June. So what happens to OBC candidates? Well, most likely, they would have given other admission tests like Symbiosis SNAP.

So Symbi swings into action. This is both a chance to gain some PR points with politicians and assume a sort of higher moral ground. "Affirmative action", after all is practised in American universities. Sounds so much better than 'reservation' as well.

The trouble is this:
- Nowhere on the Symbiosis website do I see a mention of SCs and STs. If one must begin to 'empower India's masses' on the basis of caste then surely you can't start with OBCs.

- There is no mention of creamy/ non-creamy layer. The whole debate about merit vs reservation rests on the argument that caste does not necessarily equal backwardness. An OBC and a Brahmin with similar economic and educational backgrounds should be treated as equals.

In fact there is no mention of the word 'underprivileged' with OBC at all, so one can only assume this initiative is going to empower those who can pay for their education.

- The use of the term 'affirmative action' is misleading. As the Princeton Review notes:

..affirmative action is not about quotas—that is, it's not meant to force schools or businesses into accepting or hiring a certain percentage of minorities or women. Instead, affirmative action is meant to level the playing field and ensure that schools and businesses are not intentionally discriminating against minority groups.

No college is permitted to have separate admissions criteria for different racial groups; all students must be in competition with one another regardless of race.

What Symbiosis is implementing is a quota. Voluntary it may be, but the spirit behind it is pure commerce.

'No Country for Old Men'

Tehelka has a special issue on the internet and India's youth titled 'Adventures in Netistan'.

Here's the piece I wrote for this special issue: No Country for Old Men .

I also liked this piece on young people in Bihar hooked onto the net. Being offline for a week cost one fella his Russian 'girlfriend' ...

Hard Rock Cafe Mumbai: hardly rocking

First visit: fantastic.
Second visit: nice
Third visit: ok...
Fourth visit: bored!


Are there only 15 songs in the hard rock universe?

The service is slow and unsteady. And frankly, not too warm.

A bunch of guys dancing above your head to the tune of 'YMCA'. Even they looked listless.

Except for the company of a very dear friend, this visit was a forgettable experience.

I might be suffering from I-get-bored-easily syndrome. But I definitely think there's something missing.

Of course there are no other places in Mumbai which hold a candle to Hard Rock in terms of space, decor, sound system, sheer ambience and 'internationalness'. But it feels like one of those tourist spots - chalo ek baar dekh liya. Foreign se koi guest aaya, usey dikha diya.

Not a place that owns a part of my soul.

Or, in non-poetic language, a place where I would want to hang out. Over and over and over again.

'Biotech boom' - but where are the jobs?

Everyone wants to enter a field which is 'hot'. One such field is biotech. You would have read innumerable articles on the scope of bitechnology. The jobs opening up in the sector. And of course the poster pin up company Biocon.

As a report in the Hindu notes: Career counsellors and those engaged in educational guidance... are flooded with inquiries about biotechnology courses and their scope. Biotechnology today looks like what information technology was in the 1990s.

But are prospects really that bright? Today, an engineer from an average college can easily land an IT job. What about the biotech graduate?

First of all, there is this huge debate over whether biotech should be offered at all the undergrad level. M. Radhakrishna Pillai, Director of Rajiv Gandhi Centre for Biotechnology, Thiruvananthapuram, stated to the Hindu: "Biotechnology cannot exist at the B.Sc. level, where one should learn the basic science. B.Sc. Biotechnology courses have created a confused lot in Kerala, defeating the very purpose of the subject."

The same holds true of other states. A number of colleges and universities, especially the private and deemed variety are offering 'BSc Biotech'. Students who were trying for medical but failed to get through would rather opt for a biotech course than a regular BSc. At least kisi ko kehne mein to better lagta hai.

For the colleges also, it's a happy thing. Fees for an undergraduate biotech course are far higher than a BSc. One assumes this is because the college will provide better facilities, more qualified teachers etc but... sadly this is generally not the case. In most cases, Biotech students actually use the same labs as the students doing Microbiology/ Life Science!

What about PG?
At the post graduate level, JNU is the most reputed college, the toughest to get into. The combined entrance exam held by JNU can also get you into 32 other colleges offering biotech at MSc/ MTech level. BHU, Goa University, Anna University and Pune
University are some of the next best choices.

Now this is the case in every profession. Everyone can't get into the best college. However, in biotech there are certain unique problems.

JNU has a tie up with DBT (Dept of Biotechnology) which makes it easy for their students to work on live projects during the course of the MSc. Others do not have it so easy. When it comes to industrial training, you may actually have to pay for it.

For example, students of PTU (Punjab Technical University), Indore who went to IIT Delhi last year for 2 months training paid Rs 15,000 (boarding and lodging extra). This money goes towards facilities (eg kits, labs, equipment etc) and the students get to work on a live experiment.

There is the option of doing a project with a company also - some give you a stipend while others don't pay but don't charge you either. However having an IIT Delhi project on your resume will help when you go out for a job - so students don't mind paying. And for IIT, this is a way to get some additional funding for projects.

So it's a win-win for both. But still, it's a little strange...

And what about the job?
OK, so now you graduate and start looking for a job. If there is such a 'boom' happening, it must be pretty easy, right?

Unfortunately not the case.

Shweta Agrawal, an MSc Biotech, has been looking out for a job for last 6 months. "I have given 15-20 interviews. The problem is there are very few real 'biotech' jobs," she says. The company may be 'biotech' but the job expected of an MSc is database management - not experimental. "It's very hard for a fresher to get a job in QC (Quality COntrol) or R & D because most companies have small teams and there isn't much job hopping."

What's more, pharmacy graduates are preferred because they can do formulation as well as QC. A quick look at various job sites would tell you that openings for fresh MSc Biotech are few and far between. BSc Biotech ki to baat hi chhodiye.

Actually from the job point of view, even MSc Chemistry may be better for you!

An exception to all the above would be the handful who complete a BTech from IIT (KGP, Delhi and Bombay) or a Masters in biology from IISc.

"If I don't get a job of my choice soon I will start preparing for MBA," says Shweta. "The fact is, by now, an MBA from even the most unknown university would have got a job for Rs 10-15,000 p.m," she sighs.

The alternate option of course is to do a Phd - either in India or abroad. However even after a PhD, prospects in India remain limited. You would most likely join a government laboratory (that's where much of the challenging work is being done). At age 28, armed with a Phd, you would earn Rs 8-10,000 as starting salary.

So if you are planning to do Biotech - keep all this in mind before making your decision. Don't be lured by the idea of a boom and the fact that it sounds cool.

Take up Biotech only if you have a deep love for the subject and wish to get into research. For which you must be open to doing a PhD.

Otherwise, MBA aapke liye theek rahega. And oh, there is an MBA (Biotech) being offered as well... One last bit of advice. Don't fall for it, go for a more general degree!

Song in my head

...Laari Choote from the film Ek Chaalis ki Local.

Incidentally 'laari' would generally mean lorry or truck, but here it refers to a train. And it probably means something like loved one - or laadli - in Punjabi.

So it appears that the hero and heroine are going to miss the last local home. The actors in question being Abhay Deol and Neha Dhupia, at least the song will create some buzz for the film! More than some silly kiss for sure.

The moment you hear 'Laari Choote' you know there's gotta be a Pakistani behind it. And that is the case. Xulfi of the popular band The Call. But this song is a solo effort.

One has to ask - yeh Pakistani musicians mein kya jadoo hai? Atif Aslam's recent Doorie is another amazing piece of work. Not just the title track, the entire album rocks!

Mahesh Bhatt, for once, gets it right. Speaking to the IHT, he notes: "Pakistani music had an appeal akin to that of African-American music in the United States: a tradition of song inspired by suffering".

Moral of the story: If you have a star cast which may make the audience suffer, throw in a Pakistani song or two! Agar Emran Hashmi ko neutralise kiya ja sakta hai, to Nehaji to chhotee si cheez hain.

Castles in the air

I got married at the age of 41... because I could not buy a house.

Coming from Hafeez Contractor , that's quite a statement. In an interview to HT Cafe Contractor elaborates:

Abhi loan milti hai.. It was difficult to get a housing loan back then.... Not that I couldn't have got married. But the girls I used to like were from rich families. And at the time I used to stay with my mother ina one-room kitchen in Gowalia Tank.

... That's the reason I understand a 25 year old's dilemma.. he wants toget married. But can't buy his dream house.

Of course, understanding does not mean the guy is doing something about it.Most of the buildings he designs aren't the kind a 25 year old can afford.Contractor blames this on government policies, such as restrictive FSI."We need to create an economy of abundance, instead of making people pay the price of scarcity - we are creating it," he laments.

Effect of this artificial scarcity: loans are readily available - but who can afford the EMIs anymore? My cousin visited a property exhibition in Mumbai recently where the cheapestflat - in Goregaon - was going for Rs 80 lakhs. Anything in Andheri, Rs 90lakhs - 1 crore.

"I can't take a loan for 70 lakhs," he sighed. And if he, working for oneof India's best known banks at a senior position can't afford it, I wonder which 30 something professional can!

Destiny calls
But back to the architect. An interesting fact about Contractor is that he almost didn't become an architect. Although he was obsessed with drawing from an early age, he actually did not get admission into architecture college because of poor marks in class12.

A profile on Business Traveller notes:

He was about to enrol in the army when an aunt tore off the letter ofadmission. Contractor then joined the Arts stream in Jai Hind College in Mumbai. The journey back into the world of architecture was by sheerchance.

The subject French was a handicap and so he decided to take tuitions from his cousin's wife. The cousin owned an architecture firm and sometimes theclasses were conducted in the office. One day, in the office, Contractorsaw the detail of a window and commented that it would not open in its present design.

His cousin was surprised and asked him to show his version of the window and despite having no formal training, Contractor's inputs were very good. Another family member then used some influence and managed to get him aseat for an entrance test in which he scored A+.

Amazing story, isn't it? Hafeez went on to become the most successful graduate of Rachana Sansad Academy of Architecture.

Too much hype?
Of course, Hafeez Contractor has his critics. Arzan Wadia writes in his blog:

Sadly, besides a few Indian architects, most are blindly aping the west. The band leader of the latter is none other than Hafeez Contractor. In a recent interview that he gave to a very good friend Rahul Bhatia,Contractor was asked :

"When you look across the Mumbai skyline, there’s a kind of sameness, nothing that catches the eye."

and his response was

"When you have a residential building, it consists of a living room, bedroom, hall, and kitchen. It’s only when you have something different, like a museum, or a hotel, that things are different."

I am baffled by such comments. What he is trying to imply is that residential buildings all look the same. How wrong can he be. Residential buildings the world over offer an amazing variety of design. He does not even have to look so far.

Kanchenjunga, at Kemps Corner is one of the bestexamples of residential high rises. Sadly not one of the hundreds of Hafeez buildings can even aspire to come close to that.

I agree - Kanchenjunga, designed by Charles Correa , is something else. But Correa does very few residential projects. Contractor may have done a lot of other work but is best known for projects like Hiranandani. The aam aadmi can recognise a Contractor building and it appears beautiful (beauty being relative to the other crumbling old buildings around).

As a brand name in architecture, Contractor is the biggest there is in India today. And that is no mean achievement!

The Other Architect
Perhaps, you say, someone new will come along and create a new, moreoriginal and India-inspired architecture. But wait, there was such a man.His name was Laurie Baker.

An award-winning English architect, renowned for his initiatives in low-cost housing... Baker sought to enrich the culture in which he participated by promoting simplicity and home-grown quality in hisbuildings.

Baker became well known for designing and building low cost, high quality homes, with a great portion of his work suited to or built forlower-middle to lower class clients.

More on the man who devoted 50 years of his life to a unique philosophy of architecture here.

Yet, when Laurie Baker died 3 weeks ago, how many newspapers gave it coverage on their front pages? Only the Indian Express. I bet the TVchannels didn't even consider it to be 'news'.

The man did not build skyscrapers or malls, after all. No castles, just beautiful, affordable, livable homes.

The Air hostess dream

An air hostess job - on ground - is like being a waitress. And yet that simple prefix makes it so much more. A job with glamour, money and a chance to 'see the world'. At least that's how it used to be.

I grew up in a colony of scientists where every kid became a doctor, engineer of PhD. But there was one notable exception. A girl called Pushpa who joined Cathay Pacific.

The aunties might have gossiped and whispered but Pushpa couldn't care less. She was good looking - in an arrogant and casual sort of way. And she had perfect skin, which we were told was the essential requirement for an air hostess job.

Cathay was good for Pushpa. She travelled the world, enjoyed free tickets for the family and last heard, had married a Greek and settled down abroad somewhere.

An average-at-studies girl used her looks to her advantage. And got to see do things she could never have, stuck on ground.

But this story is not about Pushpa. It's about the dream of being an air hostess.

Today there are numerous 'air hostess training' institutes. One uses a celebrity brand ambassador, the other boasts of a UK certification and yet another says 'life long placements'.

Fine. But placements where? Mostly low budget domestic airlines. Frankfinn goes so far as to advertise an 'exclusive tie up' with Air Deccan - meaning that airline recruits only Frankfinn students.

Not sure if that's such a wise thing to advertise!

Sure, being an air hostess on Spicejet or Deccan is a decent 'job' but most of the elements of the dream are missing. No foreign travel, or paycheck with 5 zeros. No duty free shopping and no fancy 5 star hotels stays.

You are on your toes for 10-12 hours, almost continuously as a low budget aircraft has a quick turnaround time and makes 5-6 flights a day. Plus, you have nothing much to do or 'serve'. Just hand out bottles of water, or sell sandwiches.

And, there are irate passengers to constantly deal with!

Of course someone has to do this job - and there's always hope that you may move on to something 'better'. However, as far as I can see the new airlines apply less stringent standards...

And the likes of Kingfisher and Jet still place regular ads to recruit their own candidates - instead of relying solely on training institutes.

The point I am making is that people who join these institutes should be clear that they may have joined to pursue a 'dream'. But be prepared to end up with what is merely a job.

So don't expect automatic aahs and ooohs when you say "I'm an air hostess"! Which airline you fly determines your place in the pecking order.

So if you do have perfect skin - aim high!

Quota Chaos

Summer follows winter, June comes after May. These are natural cycles but we have man made ones as well

IIMs declare results before other institutes. Yes, a few do try to force students to make a quick decision, even put down large (non refundable) deposits. But eventually, nature has its way.

Students simply shift to what they perceive is the 'better institute'. Forgoing any time or money already invested.

In this light, it's hard to understand the government asking the IIMs to put their admissions on hold. The new quotas introduced were incremental. Declaring those who've made it from the general / SC/ ST list does not affect anyone.

But delays will lead to chaos for MBA admissions in general.

I also fail to understand why it took the Hon. Supreme Court 9 months to hear the petition. These are constitutional matters and the court must have a busy schedule but the lives of thousands of students are affected!

The next SC hearing is on April 23. If appeals and counter appeals are a must, can the time frame at least be compressed?

The new academic year starts in June. Or will that too be held ransom by Mr Arjun Singh and his government?

And now, a 'school of government'

MIT (the one in Pune - not Cambridge, MA) has introduced a 'Master's Program in Government'. A 1 year full time program for any graduate under age 35. Admissions will be through an online objective test followed by personal interview by an 'elite panel of leaders'.

So far so good.

We often debate why the country does not produce political leaders of a certain calibre. The answer is: there is no ‘career path’.

No course can lead to a 'campus placement' as Member of Parliament but yes, it may provide some kind of platform for those from non-political backgrounds. Especially the urban, middle class educated type - they're always keen on entering a profession with the right 'qualification'.

The question is, will this course serve that purpose?

Pros and Cons
MITSOG claims to be the 'first ever professional leadership program in India and Asia for a career in politics and government'. Frankly the only other 'School of Government' I know of is at Harvard. However, the JFK School of Government seems more focussed on public policy than serving as a stepping stone into politics itself.

The MITSOG course promises to be a blend of classroom lectures, field visits and national study tours to Parliament, state legislative assembly, zilla parishad, panchayat, NGOS, model villages etc. There is a thesis which includes 'internship' with a political party and a 15 day international visit to The Hague, British Parliament etc thrown in as well.

Secondly, in the manner of industry supporting a bschool, the MITSOG seems to have the support of the political and familiar-with-politics class. The ad, published this Sunday, features the name of T N Seshan as 'Chairman'. The website indicates 'leaders as faculty'. Leaders such as L K Advani and Shri A K Bardhan ("I am willing to play the role of Professor Emeritus").

And herein lies the catch in what is otherwise a well meant and much needed initiative...

a) Do practising politicians make effective teachers? Or desirable ones? Yes and no. They can share their experiences and offer valuable insights. But constrained by the politics they must practice, what they choose to share will be carefully weighed. And watered down.

The old guard may simply dampen the idealism of the young people who want to make a change by asserting ‘things have always been this way’!

b) Secondly would they enter the classroom prepared for rational discussion and debate, even on sensitive issues? Say a student questions Advani on Gujarat or Bardhan on Nandigram - would the faculty respond objectively or simply storm out of class?

c) The presence of big names - even if only for the odd lecture - adds glamour to the course (and ensures internships). But what about some of the other names on the list? There's Poonam Mahajan - 'leader - BJP'. So raw and inexperienced, she may need lessons herself.

Then there are the likes of Arjun Singh and Anbumani Ramadoss ... What will they teach - Quadratic Equations to Solve Caste Politic Puzzles?

d) International study tours sound great but are not really necessary. What most candidates who join such a course need is more exposure to the 'real India'. Also such tours cost a great deal of money… must be an optional element of a course which currently costs Rs 1.5 lakhs.

e) Lastly, emphasis on oratory and leadership development is commendable. The first is a technique one can teach - the second requires correct selection of raw material. It would be interesting to see the composition of the inaugural batch!

I'm also wondering what is the policy when it comes to selecting sons and daughters of politicians – if they apply. Do they get treated like everybody else - or do they have a competitive advantage/ disadvantage?

Having said all this I still think it's a good initiative. Because it's not about academic learning alone but practical exposure and hands-on experience.

But it will work only if politicians are restricted to taking a few guest lectures and admissions are clean and transparent. Neta log need to see a ‘School of Government’ as more than a course. It can be a pipeline of raw talent, of fresh and idealistic young blood and bold new ideas.

Bottomline: The support of the political class adds credibility to the MITSOG. But making politics itself a credible career option is a far more difficult task

I wish the MITSOG every success - we shall be watching closely!

Beti - paraya dhan

Jaya Bachchan, in an interview to Karan Johar on the eve of the Abhishek-Aishwarya wedding.

KJ: You think that she is the perfect choice for the family?
JB: I think so. I think that it is wonderful because she is such a big star herself. I have never ever seen her push herself whenever we are all together. I like that quality of hers to stand behind. She is quiet. She listens and she is taking it all in...

The minute she comes in it is like our daughter Shweta coming home for Amitji, and he lights up. I think that she will fill the vacuum that Shweta left behind. It is tough to accept that Shweta is not a Bachchan anymore and she is out.

Yup, the more things change, the more they say the same.

Women must 'keep their place'. Be humble. Step back... And Shweta, once married is 'not a Bachchan'. She is 'out'.

Maybe Jayaji didn't mean it that way... But it sounds like an ultra-traditional family to me.

It's none of our business, of course. Aishwarya understands the expectations of the Bachchan family and is willing to live upto them. But one can't help wonder... A woman who has been so independent, kya woh hamesha ke liye is tarah jhuk ke reh sakegi?

The first flush of love does not last forever.Like every other ordinary couple, Ash and Abhishek may eventually have to fight that out...

Movie review: Bheja Fry... No stars!

Rare is the film which truly lives up to its name... This one is asal bheja fry. I really did not like it!

The cast may remind you of Khosla ka Ghosla. But the movie is pointless, plotless and (mostly) witless. Vinay Pathak has acted well. The rest of the cast simply irritate, irritate and irritate.

Most of all Sarika.

So why did I see the film? Because Gaurav Malani - a guy whom I know and trust - wrote the review for JAM, recommending it highly.

"I can't believe this!" I smsed him after the show. "This is one of the most faltu films I've seen in recent times... How could you give it 4 stars?"

"Lol.. I thot the same when you reviewed Fanaa," he replied back.

So there you have it - if you violently disagreed with my review of Fanaa you may like this film. I get the feeling there will be two camps here - of the 20 odd people in the 1000 seater Regal cinema who paid to watch the show, a few were laughing. A lot.

The rest of us came out with a headache.

Oh, by the way, it's a remake of a French film. Which explains a LOT of things. There are some things which are best left untouched by remake artists. Anything French is one of them!

Other films releasing this weekend, reviewed by JAM:

- Bandidas

- Eragon

- Perfect Strangers

IT workers - least satisfied?

A pop up on rediff informs me that 'everyone is quitting naukri'. Timesjobs claims it has 3,073, 680 active resumes in its database vs 2,72, 889 resumes with the 'nearest competitor' (naukri.com?).

What's astounding is the number of 'IT resumes' they claim to have. 820, 092!

Last year Nasscom estimated there are 1.1 million Indiansworking in IT and ITES. That number would have grown since then - but still, it's hard to believe that 2 out of 3 IT professionals have put their resumes on Timesjobs. Or any job portal for that matter.

But even if the numbers are inflated, as a proportion of job switchers, IT workers top the list. Are they truly dissatisfied, or just more net savvy than the rest of the population? Perhaps a lethal combination of both!

And now, a botox lounge

JAM magazine receives a lot of press releases. Here's one which caught my attention, although not necessarily for the right reasons...

Botox Lounge throws open its door today
-One of its kind lounge in India-

Mumbai, April 9, 2007: Cosmetic treatments in India gains the much needed paradigm shift with the opening of the first ever Botox Lounge in Aditya Jyot Eye Hospital today. Inaugurated by Dr. Peter Rubin, Associate Clinical Professor of Ophthalmology, Harvard Medical School, Botox Lounge aims to steer clear from the hospital set-up in terms of offering the best in class aesthetic treatments in an endearing atmosphere replete with soothing music, massage chairs, reading area etc.

Within the Theme of Relaxation, this set-up will also offer non-surgical cosmetic treatments like facial peels, face lifts, botox injections which will be the core procedure for erasing forehead wrinkles, frown line, crows feet in a set up that seamlessly transforms a patient procedure into a rejuvenating experience. The rationale behind offering cosmetic treatment in a lounge setting is to drive home the fact that botox treatments are simple, quick & pain free procedure that can be carried out in a relaxed setting without the trappings of a hospital room.

Speaking about the uniqueness of Botox lounge, Dr. Debraj Shome, Head, Department of Facial Plastic Surgery, Aditya Jyot Eye Hospital said, "The Botox Lounge is a revolutionary approach towards making cosmetic treatments an enjoyable experience. With an increasing number of people opting for botox as the most effective treatment for erasing wrinkles, we decided to bring in that extra personal touch by making certain striking changes in the ambience.

A Botox customer is not a patient; he/she is a normal person who wants to look better - hence we thought that the entire experience should be aesthetically sublime. The visual appeal of a botox lounge coupled with aesthetic subtle nuances and the 'feel good' factor are tailored to make our customers feel like royalty and will undoubtedly make a cosmetic treatment worthy of the time and money spent".

Dr. Peter Rubin, Associate Clinical Professor of Ophthalmology, Harvard Medical School, said "The Botox lounge is another big step in the growth of the cosmetic industry in India. What I like the most is the fact that the person interested in cosmetic treatments will have total privacy and be separated from the rest of the patient".

Though located within the premises of the Aditya Jyot Hospital, the Botox Lounge is far flung from any operating or surgical room. The ergonomically designed furniture shining in all its resplendent hue, with plush interiors, dimmed lights in the waiting area and a massage chair, is a comfort zone of sorts for botox customers and their relatives/friends who accompany them. Now, a customer to the botox lounge will typically be ushered in with a welcome drink and read the latest magazines while awaiting their turn.

Said Dr. Shome, "I can now expect folks to turn up for Botox every month, even if they do not need it, just to experience the pleasure of being at the lounge".

End of Press release

Questions from my side (I have also, helpfully, provided some answers)

Q: Does it make any sense to send this press release to JAM, a publication aimed at an audience aged 16-24?

Answer: You never know... At the very least they could influence their parents and grandparents!

Q: Why a 'botox lounge' in an eye hospital?

Answer: Improved eyesight needs something good to look at...

Q: Will they serve alcohol?

Answer:: They don't need to... If someone asks, "What's your poison?" the answer is Botox!

Q: What magazines will they stock?

Answer:The wrinkle free kind.

Q: So will people turn up every month at the lounge... even if they don't need botox?

Answer: Why not... Doctor, do let us know when you start 'Root Canal' lounge - we'll sign up for that too!

On a slightly serious note, I wonder whether 'botox' is really so painfree and side effects free that it's almost like getting a haircut? Luckily, I am relatively wrinkle free and hence can wait a while to find out.

By then we may have botox spas, botox bars, botox fine dine restaurants ("Enjoy your botox over a relaxing 3 course meal. A quick shot between the second and third course - you won't feel a thing!").

And watch out for botox in transit. Waiting for planes to take off and land is adding a lot of fine lines - at departure gates and on weary faces!

Related read: More Doctors turning to the Business of Beauty in The New York Times

Book review: Earning the Laundry Stripes

You read a book and think, "Hey, I could write better!" So you write it. Better, or worse? That's for the public to decide.

Here are reviews of three recent books which are not the 'first of their kind', but second or third in their respective genres. Okay, genre may be overstating it - they're all part of the 'Books about People Like Us' genre.

The point is, the specific situation has been written about before. So the author can't rely on the novelty factor- the book itself has to have dum. Let's see how they stack up...

1) Earning the Laundry Stripes by Manreet Sodhi Someshwar

The book which did it first - Piece of Cake by Swati Kaushal

Similarities: Both are books about fesity young women managers making it in a man's world. You also get a peek into the inner workings @ large MNCs (Swati's book was set in Nestle, Manreet's in HLL). Coincidentally, both authors are IIM Calcutta graduates, currently living abroad (and you thought IIMC attracts only mathematical types!).

Differences: Piece of Cake was a light read - which is great- but it was too heavily inspired by Bridget Jones. The main character - Minal Sharma - was a little bit unreal. Earning the Laundry Stripes has far more depth and better sketched characters.

This could be because Piece of Cake took a more comical tone while Laundry Stripes is sub titled: "A Woman's Adventures in Hindustan Lever's All-Boy's Sales Club'. But that does not mean it's deadly serious - there is enough wry humour and a few comical situations as well.

Where Piece of Cake scores is with its bright and attractive cover. Laundry Stripes is grim, uninviting - and textbooky - in contrast. I don't judge a book by its cover, but plenty of folks at bookstores will...

What I liked about the book: It is a very authentic account of what you would go through as a management trainee in HLL. And this authenticity is drawn from personal experience. Manreet was in fact 'the first woman recruited into the Sales function of Hindustan Lever after a hiatus of 20 odd years'.

Travelling through those dusty towns selling saabun-tel-shampoo she collected her own stripes and through this book you relive that experience. (Although, please note, it's not an autobiography).

It all starts with the training period at 'Gulita' where crusty veterans thunder, "You MBAs.. what do you know of upcountry India, rural sales or sales, even!" Onto the initial months working as a Territory Sales In charge (TSI) covering mofussil towns. Requirements of the job include mugging up the price of every Lever brand across 40 SKUs (Stock Keeping Units). And may entail travelling in a bus next to a goat, staying in spooky local hotels and your skin smelling like 'Rinsurfvim'!

Of course, the 'you are a woman' factor is there at every stage . From Chauhan saab, the sales officer wanting to know,"Madam why didn't you join Citibank?" to the traders who are shocked to see a 'muhnager bai' but recover sufficiently to declare,"If Mrs Gandhi can be the prime minister of the country, then why not a woman in the Sales field?"

Noor is eventually posted in Mumbai, under the venerable warhorse Sam. Here she learns the battle manouevres for grabbing 'shallpiss' (shelfspace), increasing market penetration, expanding coverage and other assorted 'strategic bullshiting'. The truth of the matter, she realises, is that 'it was all to do with human relations... if those were handled well, sales would automatically follow."

So Noor turns her handicap into an advantage - along with all the regular stuff ASMs (Area Sales Managers) do, she bonds with the families of her distributors. She decides to be woman in a man's world, and not become 'one of the boys.'

Now and then Noor contemplates the difference between herself and the majority of Indian women, more so in Etah village (where all HLL trainees spend time understanding 'rural India').

Observing the wives and sisters of her distributors, who toil their days away in the kitchen, she ponders, "We managed our respective world with expertise and skill, but the worlds themselves were entirely different... I have been fortunate enough to have the choice of which world to adopt, a choice they did not have."

Of course, life is part choice and part destiny. After all, Noor herself has probably been recruited by HlL because a firang manager came to India and was shocked to see that a company that 'produced for and marketed to women' did not have a single woman manager in Sales and Marketing...

Apart from the 'S & M (Sectarian and Macho) world of sales' dope, there are some interesting sub-plots. There's the Punjabi-in-love-with-South-Indian, families refusing to accept it angle. A roommate with a good-for-nothing model boyfriend. And a policeman who follows Noor around, blackmailing her for 'five Gandhis'.

Largely, it works.

The one bit that's shaky is the author's attempt to comment on religion, communal riots etc using the character of Mehmoodbhai. It seems a little forced, a conscious attempt to 'make a statement' rather than a natural - or necessary - part of the story.

A more subtle point is made by Sam when he comments, "I am a Parsi. Trade feels happy with Bawaji, neither Parsi nor Hindu... It will help you too, being a member of the minority community, twice over. A woman and a Sikh, your dazzle will confound them. By the time they recover, you will be on your way to being a brand manager."

On that note, let me recommend this book for all MBAs and MBA wannabes keen on marketing careers, , and anyone looking for higher IQ chick-lit. Although you may not actually be 'dazzled' by this world you get a peek into... Kaafi mundane and boring laga yeh kaam mujhe!

Magar book padhne layak hai.

A technical point: Manreet joined HLL in 1992, but the book is set in contemporary India, maybe 2006. One might ask - has anything changed in these 15 years? From what I hear, HLL is still mostly an all-boys club with the odd female manager. Has the experiment, then 'failed'?

That is another long story - I shall save it for another day.

Earning the Laundry Stripes, published by Rupa & co, Rs 195. This book was sent to me for review by Manreet through her PR agency. I would have bought it anyways - but am yet to see it at Crossword.

Tomorrow: review of 'Above Average' by Amitabha Bagchi, another book about an IITian coming of age.

'Hum hain na..' yeah right!

If I hear the tan tana na tana ta tana na jingle of ICICI Bank for a few more seconds... I will probably puke. The phone banking system of the bank which pays Shahrukh Khan several crores to give a dimpled smile and say 'hum hain na' had better do something about its phone banking services.

It's all very well to talk about 'revolution in the banking sector'. But is the idea of phone banking merely a strategy to help a relatively new bank expand aggressively? Or was it also supposed to make my life as a customer easier?

My interaction with ICICI phone banking over the last one year certainly leaves me in doubt over that question. The common problems one encounters:-

- Punch in your debit card, pin number etc etc and try to reach a phone banking officer (you may have an automated menu but it does not fulfil every need!).

"Sorry ma'am my system is down.. pl punch yr 16 digit pin number again..."

I do that.

The second person who comes on line asks me to do the same thing! And a third!!

And this is not an isolated incident. Invariably, there is some kind of accident or mishap while speaking to a phone banking officer - or you are put indefinitely on hold. Either way, it's back to hearing 'hum hain na..." tan tana tan tana tan tana tan.

Why not just change your tune to 'jingle hai na..."!

A single call to this bank can easily take 20-30 minutes. How different is that from going to the branch and standing in line there? And did you notice, it's not even a toll-free number!

Yes, on one occassion a higher-up in the phone banking chain went out of his way to help me with my net banking password. But honestly, had the bank used a better courier who would have left a 'We were here while you were away' slip (as is the standard practice) I would not have had to trouble him.

Customer 'service'

No amount of advertising can convince me of ICICI Bank's love for me. The only other time I hear from them is when they (or their DSAs) wish to sell me something. A car loan, a home loan.. whatever.

And I bet I'll get 16 calls a day if I ever default.

Service is when a phone banker calls and says,"Ma'am you have some money lying in your account which could be earning more interest. Can I put it in a fixed deposit? And by the way, a flexi-deposit may make even more sense..."

Instead they 'build the brand' by putting up giant hoardings all over screaming 9% interest. And expect us to sms our desire to participate.

But why should any bank bother? Hamara paisa pada hai to unhe fayda hai. Or so it would seem. A single call from a bank which is in my genuine interest would earn you more in goodwill and future business than you can imagine.

Perhaps all phone banking systems have these troubles - not just ICICI. Maybe ICICI customers are just more net savvy, more vocal. Here are just a few thread with complaints....

Avinash Murkute on mouthshut.com (complaint posted on April 3 2007 - and apparently taken note of).But that's just one of a looooooooooong list.

A thread on Arjun Prabhu's blog started 2 years ago which still gets customers venting their ire (ICICI seems to be monitoring this as well and responding)

And here too ICICI features prominently. Along with Indiatimes shopping and Air Deccan. (I know most of us have vowed not to fly on that airline but let me tell you, but just in case, they have a completely dysfunctional website which is being 'upgraded' for the last two months! )

The bottomline: Some kind soul from ICICI is likely to read this, email me and apologise for the 'inconvenience caused'. But, the problem is systemic.

'Hum hain na' has to be a genuine philosophy for the company. Not just an irritating advertising jingle mouthed by a charming but overpaid actor.

Lights, Action... Cut!

Visits to the dentist can usually be characterised as
a) painful
b) very painful
c) painful beyond description.

Yet, today, the word that came to mind was quite the opposite. Comical is when you hold up a laltain-like emergency lamp a few metres from your face, so that dentistji can see the cavity in your mouth. And attempt to fill it in.

All because the electricity got cut 15 minutes ahead of schedule - at 11.15 am. Luckily, we'd finished the drilling bit or I'd have been hanging around half-excavated, till 3.45 pm when the MSEB deigned to restore power to Vashi.

It sucks. Absolutely, completely, horrendously. At first we had cuts from 7.30-10.30 am. Bad, but you got used to it and life went on.

Now, the timing has been changed - and from 3 hours, we're upto 4. Make that four and a half. Sales of inverters have shot up - fan ke bina to koi scene hi nahin hai. But what about life in general? What about hospitals, shops, offices... And why just New Bombay and other areas technically outside, or on the outskirts of Mumbai??

Far enough from Mantralaya and the homes of Godrej-Ambani-Birla to not stir the powers that be into action.

Further down, in the rest of Maharashtra, there are 8 hour power cuts, 12 hour power cuts. Maybe the hours they get power should be counted instead of the time they don't!

I am angry. We are all angry. But we know not what can be done...

A really long and hot summer lies ahead. There seems to be no option but to plan your life around what you can't change. My dentist had better go nau-se-baarah - not in the am but pm.

Chhote sheher, bade sheher

If you're a job seeker from a small town, you might want to take note of this.

And if you're a born and bred Mumbaikar, and feel strongly about doing something for your city, here's a youth initiative you should participate in!

Migration : you can't stop it!

The Gitanjali Express pulls into Howrah station an hour behind schedule. The four hour journey from Jamshedpur has taken five. I tumble out of the air conditioning onto the platform which - I kid you not - smells of fish.

Blinking in the mid-afternoon sunshine, a dozen cabbies descend on me. "Madam.. airport?" I know there is a prepaid counter but my plan is non-linear. It involves killing about 3 hours of time. Even as I am wondering which cabbie to take, a young man in a t-shirt and a shock of peroxide blonde hair butts in.

"Madam, Indica car.. with a/c". I haven't said 'yes', but he picks up my bag and starts crossing the road. Khaki-clad drivers of fat yellow Ambassador taxis silently watch him steal their prey.

It is an Indica. The a/c spews out air nearly as hot as what is circulating outside the tinted windows. But, hey.

The driver is from - where else - Bihar. Are all taxi drivers in Kolkata Biharis? He grins. "Buddhababu ne sara government jobs to Bengalis ke liye reserve kiya hai... What other option do we have?"

So what's the attraction of a government job? 10-5 working (and not much work). Rs 8-10,000 salary. "Hum subah paanch baje se raat barah baje tak kaam karte hain tab koi teen, saade teen hazaar bante hain."

Only an outsider, on a hungry stomach, will work so hard. This is a universal human truth.

In the UK, a poll of small and medium-sized businesses conducted by the British Chambers of Commerce found that "more than three quarters of employers believe migration is beneficial to the economy and want the government to help them take on more foreign workers".

Almost half said they had turned to migrant labour because they could not find British employees with the right experience and skills, while another 40% said they took on workers from overseas because they believed they were more productive and worked harder.

... One managing director, Phil Inness of Axis Electronics which employs 20% Polish workers, told the BCC: "In three years of employing from eastern Europe, we haven't had one negative experience. The only concern I have is that at some point they might want to go home."

Biharis come to Kolkata as taxi drivers. Kolkata ke pade likhe bachche come to Mumbai for apne standard ke jobs. Ambitious young men and women from Mumbai go to the US to study and hope to stay on. And of course, several permutations and combinations possible in the above story.

The kid who never filled a glass of water for himself in India will work at an all-night gas station in Pennsylvania for some extra pocket money. Idhar koi keh de, beta, you must work at Cafe Coffee Day after college... Kiski majaal!

The 'sons of the soil' - they are called. Because they have roots. Social networks and mental comfort zones. And, property as well. They have the option of selling their one-bedroom flats in crumbling old buildings and move to modern apartment complexes in distant suburbs - like those who made their homes more recently.
But they would rather cling on the old way of life.

All this, in light of the recent Shiv Sena agitation against Big Bazaar for dismissing 120 probationary workers. The party claimed the company has been discriminating against 'locals' and has asked for '80% of jobs in malls to be reserved for Maharashtrians."

The company has clarified that 86% of its workforce comprises of Maharashtrians - several of whom have gone on to become managers. However, the management has reinstated the workers and will try to find some role for them.

Meanwhile, migration is inevitable. New energy, new hopes and new dudes will continue to flow into our city of potholes and dreams. They will outrun the next guy to pick up a weary traveller's suitcase. They will keep their shops open an hour longer than the 'locals'. They will take less holidays because they have no one to spend them with.

And they will create wealth. Which creates the jobs that ultimately employ us all.