Sunday, June 19, 2005

Rain ware

Indian fashion designers put out spring-summer collections and fall-winter collections. Although we barely have a 'spring' and certainly don't have a fall.

Meanwhile, the one important season that we actually do have - monsoon - gets little or no consideration.

The first day it rains you feel wonderful. The days and weeks that follow - 'icky' is more like it. Blame it on the travel conditions (a couple of heavy showers can disrupt the whole city for 2 days). The half-dug roads which turn into a sea of keechad. And the lethargy of having to get out of your house at all ...

But things would be slightly more tolerable if one had more suitable clothes - and shoes - to wear. There is tons of waterproof make up available but unless you're willing to don nylon or polyster (which neither looks nor feels good) - no such luck in clothing.

Surely some copmany can do some R & D and produce 'monsoon-ready' fabric that dries quickly. And if someone can do that for denim, I for one would happily become a lifelong patron.

But ok - maybe that kind of thing is ambitious and will take some years. What about someting as basic as shoes? Your options are orange plastic (yuck!), squelchy rubber (also yuck!!). Something that does the job (of keeping ur feet dry) AND looks good I am yet to find.

Problem is, few countries experience the kind of rains we do. In England, it rains - but more pitter-patter raindrops than kutte-billi. So we'll probably have to design products ourselves rather than copy/ adapt from elsewhere.

Or wait for the Chinese to do it for us. Thanks to them, we have - at least ! - graduated to more colourful and interesting umbrellas and windcheaters.

The solution - for now - is keep some extra clothes and shoes in your workplace, so in case you get wet you don't spend the whole day feeling like a soggy sandwich.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

The Great Indian Laughter Challenge

It is a lot harder to make people laugh than to make them cry. But after years of success at the latter - thanks to the saas bahu series of soap sagas - Indian television is finally attempting to tickle our funny bones.

Ironically, the first memorable show on Indian TV way back in 1983 was a sitcom - Kundan Shah's Yeh jo hai zindagi. It is an all time classic. But nothing quite lived upto that for the next two decades.

Indian television comedies were pretty much 'lowest common denominator' - loud and slapstick. 'Hum Paanch' was maybe, slightly tolerable, only because characters like Kaajal bhai and the dead wife on the wall (Priya Tendulkar) were imaginative (relatively speaking).


But, now the drought is finally ending. With 'Sarabhai vs Sarabhai' Star One finally has a winner.

Saaru chhe
Sarabhai has all the elements necessary for a good sitcom -
1) A small but clearly defined cast of characters (like Rosesh the duffer son who writes insufferable poetry)
2) An inherent - and exaggerated - clash of values producing comic situations (the sophisticated saas vs the middle class bahu).
3) Great acting (not just the big names like Ratna Pathak Shah, Satish Shah - everyone plays their parts well!)
4) Great scripts and dialogue
5) Consistency

Sarabhai is (very loosely) inspired by Dharma and Greg but has a life and locus quite its own. The same team (Jamnadas Majethia & Aatish Kapadia) also writes, produces and directs another weekly sitcom - Instant Khichdi.

Khichdi started life on Star Plus and was later migrated to Star One. In the process the Gujarati family whose antics the show features also suddenly become crorepatis looking for new - and hilarious - ways and means to spend their money.

Instant Khichdi is also entertaining but of late the Praful-Hansa PJs have lost their zing. Sarabhai is more sophisticated - and relies less on physical comedy - and hence gets my vote as India's no 1 television sitcom.

Talent galore

What's more, the Great Indian Laughter Challenge - also aired on Star One - is on a hunt for India's "hasi ka baadsha'. And is definitely worth a watch. Last night I was struck by the originality and style of the two finalists who were both so good that the judges and audience declared a tie.

While the other contestants merely related jokes - although with considerable chutzpah - the two who made it to the last round were stand up comics in the true sense. They used their own accents/ background/ world around them to create a very unique and personal brand of humour.

The Hyderabadi chap used his Hyderabadiness to great effect. His song 'Usne Paaya Khaaya' (usne including Bill Kalinton, Mrs Kalinton, Pervez Musharraf, Adnan Sami, and even Saddam Hussein) was absolutely hilarious. But hilarious while making a larger point - which is what the best humour is about.

Deepak Raja from Jalandhar put his own mama, chacha, foofas and taayas to good use while scripting his routine. The fact that he was dressed in an abonimable pink suit teamed with a flowery shirt didn't matter at all. What he said and the way he said it was so ... funny!

India has a long tradition of haasya kavi sammelans where little known and well known poets gather. These kavis wring out humour from everyday Indian life - some of it, truly priceless.

These kavis - and other homegrown talents like Deepak and his Hyderabadi counterpart - are the ones who will really raise the standards of humour in India.

And by the way, will someone PLEASE give Navjot Singh Sidhu his own show. Whatever you may feel about his cricket commentary (in English) Sidhu is amazing in Hindi. Witty AND insightful (he hosted a show on Red FM last week and was very very good).

As a judge on the 'Laughter Challenge' he laughs easily and loudly. A man jiske dil mein koi gile shikve nahin hain. Shekhar Suman on the other hand is stiff and 'professional'. Plus he wears dark glasses - on air!

Yeh hai attitude
Shekhar Suman: Sidhuji bataiye, jab log Sardars ke baare mein jokes sunaate hain, aapko kabhi bura toh nahin lagta

Sidhu: Kabhi nahin! Chaand ke upar agar koi thooke toh kya use daag lag sakta hai??!!

If more of us believed that - instead of taking 'offence' easily when the joke's on us - the world would resound more often with laughter.

And yeah, the 'chaand' analogy applies to blogging - and anonymous, rude commenters too.

On the nightshift

I couldn't sleep last night. So I got up and switched on the FM radio at 3.15 am. Go 92.5 FM was playing a series of not-so-well-known - although pleasant - English songs.

A while ago Go decided to accept that there is no life without Hindi music and went 70: 30 (Bollywood: English Pop). I think at the time the Boss must've said, "Look - you can play WHATEVER you want at night (when no one's listening anyways...)".

Initially the station was rather apologetic about 'having' to play Hindi but over time they've struck a good balance. Their songs are slightly less faltu than Mirchi (which will even play 80s Sridevi/ Jaya Prada numbers - some of the most horrendous music ever created).

And Go's RJs have more interesting banter and better chemistry - esp. Jaggu and Tarana in the mornings.

Whatever the quality of the films we are producing, the Bollywood music machine sure is getting better and better. Thanks to the 'item number' culture even the flop films produce a couple of catchy 'radio' songs.

Agreed, some of the best stuff - like Woh Lamhe - is inspired or hijacked. But there's enough originality around for one not to get worried. Dhadak dhadak (Bunty aur Babli), Piyu Bole (Parineeta) and even the Kaal title song are testimony.

They're unlikely to be 'classics' remembered fondly 20 years from now but that's what pop is mostly - a quick and easy musical snack. How many of us can recall Rick Astley or the Bangles... two of my favourite pop artistes back in the '80s!!

Jaago Mohan pyaare
Incidentally, someone believes people DO listen to FM at 3 am which is why Go's 'Nightshift' is sponsored by E-serve - the financial services BPO. I bet it's the idea of some clever media planner ("Who's awake at night? BPO workers!")

Except they would - should - be busy working. Taking or making calls, not listening to FM on those big black headsets!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Death by Cellphone

You're sitting in a movie theatre and suddenly a cellphone somewhere nearby goes rrrrring! What's more the receiver invariably picks up and starts yakking. I sometimes have this urge to ask: "Is it a matter of life and death?"

Wish poor Prabir De had stopped to consider that question, before picking up his cellphone.

Mumbai Mirror reports that Prabir, a celeb make up artist (who's worked on the likes of Bipasha Basu, Koena Mitra etc) was on a photoshoot on the outskirts of Kolkata. On a whim, they decide to shoot on some railway tracks.

At some point De's cellphone rang and he took the call. Meanwhile, a train loomed in sight... Friends and onlookers yelled, but De was too involved in the conversation. And the worst happened.

What is this fascination filmakers/ photographers have with trains? Last year, 27 year old British national Nadia Khan - an assistant director with Kaizad Gustad - died after being hit by a train near Mahalaxmi. She too was reportedly speaking on her cellphone.

There's been a lot of speculation on the long term effect of cellphone use (radiation being linked to brain tumours etc). But the short term effect is no less dangerous. The cellphone is a medium which appears to not only distract but suspend common sense.

What else can explain such 'freak accidents'?

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Changing the world - starting with yourself

I hesitate to use the word 'hero' to describe the influence this person has had on my life. Because heroes - inevitably - let you down. Suffice it to say that of the many public figures with wide and varied achievements one can possibly look upto, Steve Jobs is the one whom I have admired the most.

When in college I read 'Odyssey: From Pepsi to Apple' and that one line Jobs used to persuade Sculley to join him has stuck with me ever since. 'Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life - or, do you want a chance to change the world?'

It became a kind of guiding principle for my life. Not 'changing the world' in the literal sense but what I think Jobs really meant was you must look for passion - and meaning - in what you choose to do as 'work'.

Which is the point he made in the amazing speech he delivered to the graduating class of Stanford earlier this week. An absolute must-read-and-think-about.

Connect your dots

In his speech, Jobs tells three 'stories'. The first is 'connect your dots'. Where he explains how a calligraphy course he took after officially dropping out of college had a profound impact on his future - and ours.

None of this (calligraphy) had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.

Imagine that! Everything you do - in the end - was somewhoe meant to be. It may not be immediately or practically applicable. It may do nothing for your CV at this moment. But you are the sum total of all your life experiences combined with your inherent talents. Which is why - like I said earlier - we all need to add some zig to our zag.

So, have those 'irrelevant' experiences. Pursue 'useless' interests. Because you never know where those dots may lead you.

As Jobs says: You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

The Second Coming
Elsewhere in his speech Jobs talks about how 'getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.' It forced him to reinvent himself - freed him to enter one of the most creative periods of his life.

Both the companies he started - Pixar and Next led to their own revolutions. Pixar became the pioneer in animated movie-making while Next was bought out by Apple. And the technology developed at Next ultimately led to the rebirth of Apple with the iPod.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. ... If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

Even if the great Indian mantra is beta, settle down :)

Live each day as if ...
The third 'story' Jobs shared was about death. A few months ago, doctors told him he had merely months to live. Turns out he had a rare - and curable - form of pancreatic cancer. So the death sentence was repealed.

But, he says once more the point hit home: Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

As a tidal wave of students in India pass out of class 10, 12 and with bachelor's degrees - that's what they really need to sit still and listen to. Their own inner voice.

I can say that with conviction because I'm old enough to 'connect my dots' - and know exactly what Jobs means. But, that is a story I'll save for another day.

Jobs signs off with 'Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish'. You may not want to take that literally - but everything else he said you certainly should!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Foodmart fundas

"By 2010, 90 percent of consumer products (in the US) will be home-delivered. Mothers will give children lists so they can shop for the family's groceries and other necessities over the Internet." - prediction by trends expert Faith Popcorn

Magar yeh hai India. And here, folks are willing to stand in line for an hour on a Sunday evening to check out a cartful of groceries. I landed up at the local Food Bazaar by mistake this weekend in search of cherries. And made a hasty exit from what appeared to be Virar station at rush hour!

It's all so new and exciting, being able to touch-feel-choose products of vast range and variety in air conditioned comfort. The visit to the local foodmart has become the middle class family's new weekend 'outing'. A substitute for the local temple/ Chowpatty.

Especially since - for reasons beyond my understanding - many malls hold 'events' on weekends. The most popular being putting up a stage where tiny tots can jump around to the tunes of the latest Bollywood numbers.

Like website hits were in the dotcom era, so footfalls are sacred in the megamall era. Never mind if most of these feet just come, lurk and linger, eat an 8 buck icecream at Mac and go home satisfied.

The theory being that ek baar chaska lag gaya to baar baar ayenge. Aur kuch na kuch to kharidenge hi.

This is where the grocery shops come in. Buying kirana is the one aspect of shopping that is the housewife's birthright. Which husband can say no to a wife demanding to be taken to shop for her monthly quota of Surf-sabudana and Sanifresh.

Grocery shopping is thus the perfect, guilt-free excuse for visiting the mall. Further, the foodmarts give you the impression of 'big savings'. Which may be true -but only to an extent.

The local Dmart sells 2 kgs of Tide at Rs 87 and claims you save Rs 15. My kiranawala delivered it home and charged Rs 88. The 15 rupee off deal is being offered by P & G - not the retailer. But the way it's advertised, you go home feeling happy about being a wise, thrifty shopper.

Two Kinds of Buyers
Local kiranawalas are under 'threat' from hypermarts but they won't just roll over and die so easily. Because there is a growing segment of customers which will - as Popcorn suggests - require home delivery.

Yuppie singles, couples for whom time is money - they are going to simply pick up the phone and order whatever is needed, whenever it's needed. The large chains also home deliver but not in 10 minutes flat. And not 2 packets of milk.

However, for 10% of their needs these folks will also visit hypermarts because they are becoming places to shop at for interesting new products.

This evening I bought 200-300 bucks worth of stuff more on impulse than need. Stuff which caught my attention and seemed worth trying out including...

Palmolive aromatherapy shower cream (very attractive packaging, smelt nice too)

MTR macaroni and veg chatpata sauce (ready to eat thingie which looked intriguing)

Nestle lassi (didn't know they had lassi! Very nice - will definitely buy again!)



'High Range' strawberry preserve (never heard of brand but label explained this was a product of 'Project Dare' which educates underprivileged kids. So thought... why not try)

I also noticed that Cadbury's has come out with a chocolate sauce (like Hershey's) and there's a new snack called Bollywood bites (packed in Pringles type cans). Neither of these products has been advertised. But a good display in a hypermart is enough to at least induce trials.

Bottomline: If you like to keep in touch with what's new, hypermarts are fun. But visit on weekdays wonly. For everything else, cultivate your friendly neighbourhood kirana shop. He may not accept Visa or Mastercard, but his service and efficiency is priceless.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Recycle Raga

This morning, just as I walked out of my building, a strap on my shoe broke."Damn!" I thought, thinking I'd have to run back up and change into another pair. But then I realised, just 50 metres away, sits a mochi.

Two minutes later, the shoe was as good as new. A shoe that in a more advanced country would have to be chucked into the garbage bin because there would be no one to repair it. And all it cost me was 5 bucks.

What's more, this particular mochi seems to be a pretty satisfied soul. He takes a lot of pride in his work. And workmanship. He doesn't see handling and repairing a shoe as something 'beneath his dignity'.

But, as time goes by, mochis are becoming a rarer species. I doubt their children wish to take up the profession. So, like folks in London and New York, we too will someday have to treat as rubbish what we can repair and recycle.


In Tokyo, I remember seeing perfectly decent bicycles left outside subway stations - abandoned by owners who no longer want them but don't wish to pay to take them away!

Old no more gold
There was a time when our mothers exchanged their old saris for steel bartans. Those days are gone. But we still have raddiwalas who take our old newspapers for recycling. And we still have domestic help who gratefully use old furniture and hardly-used baby clothes.

I guess in the US there is the Salvation Army where you can donate these things. And Oxfam stores in the UK. India too will soon need an organised mechanism where the haves can channel their hand me downs.

Because none of us NEEDS another Tshirt or bedspread or pair of shoes but we still keep buying them. Simply because we can. Simply because we went to the mall. Or simply because it happened to be on sale.

We throw away stuff not because it's outlived its usefulness or functionality but its novelty. Which is a new and heady feeling in this country.

A great idea
Here is one organisation which is doing pioneering work in this direction.

Goonj asks people 'to give us all such material at their home or in office, which they hardly use'.

I know what you're thinking - the mountain of old clothes which were dumped in tsunami-hit regions a few months ago. Which were of practically no use to recipients.

The nice thing with Goonj is that they take the trouble to do rigorous sorting and in a very systemic manner reach them to needy people in the remotest parts of the country for whom these are very valuable.

No one wants scraps thrown at them. Goonj take the trouble to see that the items its ends are usable and clean. If it gives someone a sari, a blouse and petticoat is generally given to go with it.

And if clothes are very old/ torn or unsuitable (who will wear spaghetti tops in villages?!) they are still used as 'chindi' - for making bedsheets/ pattis.

If u have stuff to give away, here's a list of collection centres.

I think it's a great initiative and one which a society with as much inequality as our really needs to encourage.

The fact is we Indians do hate to *throw* things away. Which is why we have so many 'give your old TV and buy a new one' offers. Big Bazaar is even buying bhangaar of all kinds by the kg to attract customers! So if your feng shui expert advises you to declutter your home, you know where to head ...

Monday, June 13, 2005

Amity Astounds

The owner of the Amity group of educational institutes - Ashok Kumar Chauhan - is wanted by Interpol for financial frauds committed in Germany many years ago, reports Tehelka.

Wonder why such a major story - which appeared in the magazine over a week ago - is yet to hit any other newspaper. Could the fact that Amity is a MAJOR advertiser in both print and electronic media be one of the reasons?

Incidentally, Amity tried - but failed - to 'buy out' Tehelka in more ways than one.

"First the Chauhans tried to stop the story through subtle offers of advertisement support. Thet made several phone calls and sent several Amity representatives to Tehelka saying they would like to keep copies of Tehelka on their campuses. That having failed, they offered to bear the costs of stopping the printing press. When even this did not work, they tried to buy as many copies at traffic signals and from distributors.

Deepak Sehgal, proprietor of Central News Agency (CNA) which supplies the newspaper to retailers stated that demand for the Jun 11 issue suddenly shot up in the market."


Apparently, the Delhi Police and the CBI have been sitting on an Interpol 'red corner notice' against Chauhan for years. The Ministry of External Affairs has also failed to act on an extradition request.

Tehelka implies that this may be due to the fact that 'sons and daughters of VIPS study in these institutions - and he has links in both the BJP and the Congress'.

'We nurture talent', goes the Amity promise... Maybe evading arrest from banks whom you owe millions of dollars to is one of them.

Kya School Hain Hum!

Today is my soon-to-be-six year old daughter's first day at school. Or is it her last day of childhood? My heart is heavier than her new, big-girl schoolbag as I see her off at the bus stop. Playschool, nursery, kindergarten - those are mere preparation for separation. Class One is the rough, rigorous, Real Thing.

Twenty odd workbooks, textbooks, notebooks. As we sat covering them in regulation brown paper, I noticed they were a lot more colourful and child-friendly than the schoolbooks I remember. Still... they seem like way too many, especially to carry back and forth.

Not long ago, CBSE asked the 6000 schools across the country following its syllabus to reduce the school bag burden. "Schools should also not set any homework for students of classes I and II," CBSE Director (Academics) G Subramanian said in a circular.

Some schools are making provisions for lockers. Most aren't. What's most frustrating is that what you feel on such issues - as a parent - really doesn't matter. You may be a 'consumer' of education, paying a pretty hefty fee, but the general attitude of schools is 'take it or leave it.'

No doubt the school cannot satisfy every pushy parent but the more fundamental issue is about balance of power. That lies squarely with the educators. I wonder whether it's partly to compensate for the fact that teachers - even principals - are one of the lowest-paid professionals in society.

There are times when I swear I can hear the teacher thinking, "Hey, Doctor/ Manager/ IAS officer... idhar sab ek samaan. Here, you gotta dance to my tunes."

I'm sure Nivedita will learn to live with the system - like I did. And millions of other kids have. But is the objective of schooling to merely survive, or to thrive? Wish someone had the answers... or at least started asking the question!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Liril revisited

A while ago I blogged about the new Liril ad. I didn't like it.

Well, it's been on air for over 2 months and I'm still not gaga about it but I notice the following positives:
a) The 'red chillis' have been edited out.
b) The jingle La-i-ra-i-la has ... kind of grown on me

I still don't like the foreign (south African) models being passed off as Indians. And the water droplets on the model's back don't remind me of any waterfall (as was the agency's intention).

Anyhow, I decided to go and buy the soap. And guess what. The real problem is that there is a huge mismatch between the upmarketness of the ad and the actual product.
While the ad sells you a 'Calvin Klein' kind of experience, the soap is not radically different or 'international' - in look, feel, fragrance or foam.

There is some improvement in logo and packaging - but not enough. The soap has morphed in shape (oval) and has some tutti-frutti green bits in it but the smell is the same. Detergenty and extra-strong. The reason I stopped using it in the first place.

So for now I shall stick to the little-advertised but heavenly smelling Palmolive Aromatherapy and the another old favourite - Pears.

Anonymice

Criticism is something I can live with - and learn from. But not from random, anonymous people.

And hence, for the first time, I have taken the trouble to delete some particularly hateful - and hurtful - comments of 'anonymous' origins left on this blog.

These anonymice have the following problems:
a) "Every post you write is about IIM... "
Huh? That's factually incorrect. But even if it were true, this is my blog. You're not being forced - at gunpoint - to read it!

b) "You don't reply... " or "You reply only to people with an IIM connection"
Huh ?? I don't reply that often because I don't just blog - I have a life. Time is finite! Besides, not all comments merit a response - often there's nothing of value I can add beyond what I've originally written.

But I do take note of comments - and ALWAYS reply to anyone who directly emails me.

Thought for the day
If the word 'IIM' does tend to pop up in my writings now and then it's because for me it was a singular and defining experience.

I'm reminded of a very beautiful observation in a special issue of Time magazine called the 'Asian Journey Home' in which immigrants go back to their homeland and write about the experience.

This is what Karl Taro Greenfeld wrote in an essay about the experience of returning to Tokyo where he spent the days of his "youth" (a decade ago) and finding everything had changed. What he was seeking was another world which existed only in the "repository of his memories".

"If you are truthful to yourself, you will admit there was a time when you felt most honstly and authentically yourself. A week or a month or, perhaps if you are lucky, a year or two when the swirling circles representing your character, personality, style and appearance swam into perfect congruence and you were precisely the person you aspired to be. When I return to Tokyo I am reminded of that state of equilibrium".


For me, perhaps, the two years spent at IIM A captured this state. Which is why my mind wanders back to it quite often. As simple as that!

Friday, June 10, 2005

Smoking mana hai

There's a huge debate going on about the proposed ban on smoking on-screen in Bollywood films. While I agree there is a freedom of choice issue involved, one has to also realise that tobacco marketers have methodically used films to circumvent the ban on advertising tobacco through practically all other mediums.

I researched this for an article titled 'Smokescreen' which was published last October in Businessworld.

When all other promotional avenues dry up, there remains a potent 'P' in the tobacco company's arsenal: the People factor. Who is smoking - and how cool that person is perceived to be - is the Invisible Salesman still in operation. Smoking in movies has been linked to adolescents trying their first cigarette, according to a new study by a team from Dartmouth College and Dartmouth Medical School. As a 1989 Philip Morris marketing plan noted: "We believe that most of the strong, positive images for cigarettes and smoking are created by cinema and television."

There is documented evidence of the company paying to get Marlboros placed in Superman II and a host of other popular Hollywood films. When the US Congress threatened to make product placement illegal, the tobacco industry pleaded 'self regulation' and pay-offs officially stopped. But placements didn't. In fact, 82 per cent of the top 10 grossing PG-13 films each week in theatres from May 2002 to May 2003 included tobacco.

A World Health Organization (WHO) study of tobacco exposure in Bollywood films conducted last year revealed similarly shocking figures. The research, conducted by Ambika Srivastava, president, Strategic Mediawork, concluded that 76 per cent of top-rated Hindi films portray smoking as 'the cool thing to do'. It's not just villains and vamps who smoke: today, 50 per cent of tobacco incidents are depicted by the 'good' characters. And increasingly, smoking is being used to demonstrate an assertive and independent mindset.

Documentation of money changing hands in India is unavailable, but last year's Quentin Tarantino-inspired Kaante certainly merits investigation. "Collar ko thoda sa oopar chadha ke, cigarette ke dhuaein ka chhalla bana ke..." goes a song from the film, which became far more popular than the film itself. Noting these guerilla tactics, the WHO decided to focus on the entertainment, films and sports industries on World No Tobacco Day last year.

Actor Vivek Oberoi, who has smoked in both good guy and bad guy roles, decided to 'kick the habit' onscreen and appeared in a series of anti-smoking ad films last year. However, Shahrukh Khan, Ajay Devgan and Sunjay Dutt are all chain smokers, and it is a known fact that the actor/director who smokes at home is more likely to smoke in public and light up in movies.


So yes, you can debate the issue to death but ... there may be a case for the on-screen ban. It's more easily enforcable than trying to restrict sale of cigarettes near schools and colleges (who's to check that anyways!!)

Bottomline: Directors and actors will just have to get more creative. A stick in hand won's be a code-prop to signify gangster or vamp.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A novel pastime

A new Crossword bookshop is coming up on Hill Road. Ain't that wonderful?? Like the advent of multiplexes brought with it the 'multiplex movie' phenomenon, could the spread of chains like Crossword be ushering in a 'bookplex' one?

Certainly the kinds of books being written in English for Indians has undergone a change. The 80s and 90s saw the Salman Rushdie-Arundhati Roy variety off books which were based in India but written for the international audience - with a spillover Indian readership.

Today, you have a new generation of books and authors with no literary pretensions. They're just good timepass reads about people, places and things the urban Indian can connect with. And surprise! many are written by b school graduates. Which is what my piece 'A Novel Pastime' published in the latest Businessworld magazine looks at...

By day, they are investment bankers and brand managers. By night, they toil away at their keyboards, tapping into their own experiences to spin out slice-of-life stories that appeal to 'People Like Us'.

IIM Ahmedabad graduate Chetan Bhagat relived his IIT days in Five Point Someone. Swati Kaushal's stints at Nestle and Nokia provided rich fodder for Piece Of Cake, a light-hearted tale set in corporate India. And that's just the beginning. July 2005 sees the launch of Mediocre But Arrogant, a story of love and life in the fictitious Management Institute of Jamshedpur (MIJ).


You can read the rest of my story here (free registration required)

Bottomline: MBAs turning to writing is actually not that surprising because many Indian B-school graduates are simply exceptionally bright individuals who followed the easiest path available to them. Anyone who's been on an elite b school campus will vouch for the many potentially great singers, writers and film makers lost to the world of business.

Or then again - as these novelists prove - maybe not.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Rating, not ranking

In response to the question - do rankings matter? - which some of you have raised, my answer is "not really." Whether you join the college ranked no 1 or 4 usually doesn't.

Last year after Businesworld, Business Today AND Outlook had published their B school rankings, JAM had done a post-mortem and also provided a "B School Report Card"

At the time I clearly specified our approach:
Whether a B school RANKS a notch higher or lower than another isn't as important as whether it falls in a generally accepted CATEGORY as regards quality of education and placements.

The JAM B school Report Card therefore graded 50 odd b schools on the following scale:
A + Absolutely excellent
A Highly recommended
B + Strong B school brands
B Good choices
C + Above average
C Just about OK
? Questionable value

For example, I placed IIM A, B, C, XLRI, L and ISB in A + category. Only a handful of people have the luxury of choosing between these schools - they all pretty much give you the same kind of halo.

In grade 'A' I placed FMS, MDI, Bajaj, SP Jain, IIM K, IIM I as well as MICA and IRMA. And so on.

Now this is more "useful" but makes a less sensational story than LSR being named the "no 1 college in India" while poor St Stephens comes in 6th.

The other issue is "top 5" colleges in every city is not much of a help to anyone. At least top 15 colleges per city would give students who don't score insanely high marks an idea of which colleges they should be considering.

That's exactly what we did when arriving at a JAM rating for Engineering colleges in Maharashtra

If this appears to be "tom-tomming" JAM, so be it. Lucky for me, instead of just cribbing, I have the opportunity to 'set things right' through a magazine which influences students.

Not that I claim to be infallible. We always advise students to reach decisions based on advice from peers, seniors and personal visits to campuses if in doubt!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

India Today's Sad Sad Survey

There's more to write about Goa.. but I interrupt to comment on the continuing saga of the 'India Today College rankings'. The latest edition is out and has some very strange results indeed - as far as Mumbai is concerned.

The top 5 Arts colleges in Mumbai:
1. Xaviers
2. Elphinstone (?!)
3. Sophia
4. Mithibai
5. Bhavan's

It gets worse.
The top 5 science colleges in Mumbai:
1. Xavier's
2. Elphinstone
3. Sophia
4. Bhavan's
5. Ruparel

And here's the really crazy bit.
Top 5 colleges in Mumbai for commerce
1. Xavier's
2. Bhavan's (???!!)
3. Podar
4. Somaiya
5. Mulund college of commerce

No Narsee Monjee, no HR or Sydenham. Xaviers - which runs an evening college for working students and Bhavan's - which is definitely nowhere among the average student's top 5 choices.

What is India Today thinking? Are the results of a 'survey' to be taken as the Gospel Truth - whether or not they reflect actual ground reality?

Just to briefly touch on some of the other glaring errors:
a) Medicine: Grant medical college makes it to the 'top 10' in India while the most wanted by students - G S Medical college (KEM) - is nowhere.
b) BITS Pilani does not feature in top 10 engineering colleges
c) Xavier's is ranked # 2 in commerce ALL OVER INDIA.

What went wrong
For several years now JAM has analysed how and why these rankings - esp for Mumbai -are SO glaringly wrong:
a) The methodology of the AC Nielsen ORG Marg survey sucks. Getting 350 academics to rank 400 colleges across 8 cities just does not work.
b) Halo effect. The once glorious Elphinstone - which is NOT a top choice today - gets a high score from the 'experts' - most of whom are 40 + at the very least.
c) There can be minor disputes about whether X or Y college deserves to be ranked 3 or 4 but not whether it deserves to be ranked in the top 5 at all!

Bottomline: Sadly, the editors at India Today just don't care about the impact the results they publish may have on parents and college aspirants. They just need to sell copies year after year. Which means 'shocking' (and unbelievable) results like ILS law college Pune being ranked ahead of National Law School, Bangalore....

JAM will be out with its own rankings soon... Correction, we will provide RATINGS which would be of help to prospective students... More in my next post!

Go Spice!

I like Spicejet. True, this is based on a single Mumbai-Goa-Mumbai flight experience but here's why:

a) The flight departed on time - both ways. And reached on the dot, too. This is an achievement because the other 'budget' airline is - in my rather extensive experience - always late.

Yes, much as I commend Capt. Gopinath for being the fisrt to give every Indian the chance to fly, my last 3 flights on his airline have left me less than satisfied. Each time there was a huge delay - ranging from one to six hours. And, in Indian Airlines style, no plausible reason given - or regular annoucements. ( If in Delhi, your best bet is to call Air Deccan in Mumbai and check whether the flight has taken off coz the same aircraft flies back :)

b) Spicejet is a cheap airline but the way it's packaged - it doesn't feel like a cheapie one. So for example, they give you refreshments worth about 10 bucks on board instead of asking you to buy the same (a small packet of chips, water and toffees).

The air hostesses are a little more glamorous and smile a little more - like they do on Jet Airways. And, they wear slightly tight white blouses. If I - as a woman - noticed this, I am sure the male population definitely has!

Even the Spicejet logo is far more bright and cheerful. I also liked the fact that they let you select a seat of your choice at the time of booking online.

Small Things matter
Now you might say phooey - punctuality is one thing, who cares about the other factors. Well, you may think you do not. But at some level, you do get influenced. And so, while price will remain THE most important criteria given that both Spice and Deccan are offering you relatively cheap tickets, you may check availability on Spice first.

Air Deccan is going for an IPO - so hopefully they should be able to improve its service. For one, they need to lease better aircraft ... the ATRs they fly are really scary! And make too much noise!! I know none have fallen out of the sky yet but surely Mumbai-Ahmedabad, for example, has enough demand to merit a regular sized jet.

Bottomline: Budget airlines are changing the way India travels. I know my Goa trip happened only because there was a good deal available. "Impulse" buying has moved beyond picking up a cute t-shirt :)

Well as they say, the more the merrier - "Let There Be Flight". And please, God, let there also be bigger and better AIRPORTS!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Going Goa Gone

I am off to Goa for 3 days, thanks to SpiceJet. No, I did not get one of those Rs 99 tickets but at 50% off it was still a good deal.

Cheap airlines ki baat to theek hai - but where are the corresponding airports... The domestic terminal in Mumbai these days is not very different from Bombay Central station.

But visions of sunny/ rainy Goa beckon beyond that. Cheerio till Tuesday!

Bunty aur Naukri

The scriptwriter of Bunty and Babli and I share a cosmic connection - we both love using the same opening line.

For close to a year now, I've started my rediff column on careers with a "there are two kind of people in the world" observation. And Abhishek a.k.a Bunty also jhaadoes philosophy with his "Ye world jo hai na... isme do tarah ke log hain..."

I'm not suggesting I own the copyright to that phrase - the idea's been around for a while now. I use it because it makes my job easier (the first line is always the hardest to write!)

Ironically, I've just written a column inspired by Bunty and Babli and for a change -I haven't used the line at all :)

I was in fact struck by something Bunty said to his dad, explaining why a secure and dull job (as a ticket collector) was not the thing for him.

"Aapki naukri mein na izzat hain, na mazza, aur na matlab". Isn't that what we all want from a career - and life in general. Read the rest of 'Career Lessons from Bunty aur Babli' here.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Ghar ka khaana zindabad!

A Bong friend recently dragged me to have dinner at a restaurant called 'Oh Calcutta'. The chief attraction here is that the food served is 'just like what we once had at home'.

So, in a fancy shmancy setting we had 'home food', at less than homely prices. With each mouthful my friend was going over the moon, while I was wondering - as I chewed on rice with banana flower ki sabzi - whether there were any leftovers in my fridge.

OK - it wasn't THAT bad but really, I wouldn't have wanted to pay 500 bucks for a meal like that. Because I am not from Calcutta and it did not bring back any fond memories.

But it set me thinking... The wheel has turned full circle.

When we were kids, going to a restaurant was the ultimate treat. It happened only a couple of times a year - on my parents' anniversary or some such occassion. And we'd usually visit only Delhi Durbar or Kailash Parbat. But those were days you looked forward to.

This continued into the hostel years - when 'eating out' was a welcome escape from mess food - but usually an unaffordable luxury.

But the tide turned when I moved out of the circumference of mom's cooking - and started living on my own. 'Eating out' became something you did everyday, merely to fill your stomach.

Cut to the present. After years of trial and error I have (at last) found a decent maid to take care of the daily 'paapi pet ka sawaal'. I carry a dabba to office, and usually eat at home.

Of course I still do eat out a couple of times a week to:
a) Catch up with friends over a meal.
b) Try out some new place/ kind of food - for the experience.

Home economics
I think 'ghar ka khaana' will be the Next Big Luxury for many of us. Good household help is scarce - as are wives who will toil in the kitchen daily. As two-income families mushroom the question is - will they survive on ready-to-eat/ junk food/ Udipi meals?

Mumbai has always had enterprising ladies who send lunch and even dinner dabbas with home-cooked food. But I think the next step is actually a chain of take-aways, located in office complexes/ malls from where you can pick up home-cooked mix n match meals.


So you could pick up 6 chapatis, 100 gms alu-tamatar ki sabzi and 100 gms moong ki daal + some dahi on your way home - enough for a couple.

The smart thing would be to have - the way dabba ladies do - a variety of cuisine. ie Gujarati, Punjabi, south Indian - more styles depending on demand.

Someone will of course have to study how to make on a mass scale food that tastes just like ghar ka. While no two moms cook alike, there is a generally accepted spectrum in which home food falls.

The menu would be more 'pedestrian' - tindli, torai, alu-gobhi, tur daal. Even if there's paneer - it would be home-style and not swathed in heavy gravies and spices like restaurants normally serve it.

I've seen this in Thailand, where women are a very visible part of the workforce. Department stores like Tesco Lotus offer these kind of takeaways, as do women in malls with small carts.

I read somewhere that Food Bazaar has started something similar on an experimental basis in Andheri and Goregaon. But haven't had a chance to visit. If anyone has - and can vouch for taste/ hygiene do lemme know!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Mirror mirror II

Mid-morning I picked up both Mid-day and Mirror. Mid-day enlightened me on the following:
a) Riddhima (Rishi and Neetu Kapoor's daughter) is getting married to a businessman in Delhi
b) Hrithik Roshan's sister is to marry (her seocnd time) and settle in the US
c) Eight similarities between Ramgopal Varma's Deshu and Dawood (even tho he is crying himself hoarse that there is NO similarity)
d) That an outfit very similar to what Rani was seen wearing is available at Big Bazaar for Rs 300.

I also read Mirror, from I which remember the following:
a) Cigarette smoking to be banned in films and serials (also the lead story in the TOI)
b) Something about cheap air tickets to Goa being unavailable (I beg to differ because I have bought SEVERAL cheap tickets.. and in fact am going to Goa by Spicejet later this week!)
c) Something about Manisha Koirala breaking up with her nth boyfriend
d) Something about heroes who look silly after hair straightening. This was good - esp the quip abt Ashmit Patel looking like Posh Spice with a beard.

Net: net Mid-day was more entertaining - and gave some new gossip. As many of us have already read a broadsheet in the morning I think what we want is something 'timepass' at lunchtime. Mirror is what you can call a 'good' paper but I am not sure what need it satisfies.

The Strategy
The need DNA and HT are addressing is readers and advertisers wanting 'an alternative to TOI'. With Mirror, TOI is following the 'cannibalisation' theory ie if we must lose readers let's lose them to a second paper of our own.

But - you tell me - can an 'alternative' from the SAME publishing house ever be perceived as a REAL alternative?

So although Mirror can theoretically be an alternative to a morning broadsheet it is in fact an alternative to Mid-day. And that is fair enough. The 'pick me up paper' market that Mid-day is addressing has no real competitor (Afternoon is the only choice and it's a weak rival)

To combat Mid-day, Mirror had to be the opposite of Mid-day. Like 7 Up was the "uncola", Mirror is the 'untabloid'.

Great. But the problem like I said - do you want great and serious content to read in the train or with ur afternoon cuppa? Maybe during market research people said 'yes' because they feel cheap to admit they actually just like reading Marjorie Orr, Hit-list and a quick flip-thru the rest of their tabloid paper.

Given this, in a short time Mirror may well decide to swing to the OTHER extreme and become more tabloid than Mid day itself. Which looks tough (would they have published those grainy pics of the Shahid-Kareena lip-lock- what if Kareena boycotted the Filmfare awards?)

Aage aage hota hai kya...
Large advertisers, for now, have chosen to wait and watch. Mirror had lots of classifieds and 'best wishes' ads from small agencies on day 1. But the absence of support from large media buying houses like Mindshare etc which release ads for major MNCs is quite evident even into day 3.

Chalo, hum log bhi wait and watch karte hain. Kya keh sakte hain - kuch bhi ho sakta. All's fair in love and newspaper wars!

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