Nach Baliye : Star One does it again!

Nach Baliye was promoted as the 'Next Big Thing' on Star One and holy cow - it seems to be working.

Unlike Indian Idol and Fame Gurukul this reality-cum-talent show format appears to be an original idea. As the official website notes:

Nach Baliye is a show that brings two unique things to Indian television:
1. The competition between real- life couples (all from the television world)
2. The participants competing on a skill, they are not known for (none are professional dancers)

I would add, the show brings out how far folks will go to win prize of Rs 50 lakhs. So over the last week we had the 'comedy round' where Rajeshwari and Varun Badola gave an outstanding 'role reversal' performance.

A sporting Varun donned ghaghra, choli, chotis et al to play the woman while Rajeshwari played the man - their performance floored both judges and the audience!

Why it all works
The real-life couple bit was, I think, a masterstroke. Real life couples have emotions between them anyways hence they hug cry on camera without inhibitions. Or any kind of 'distance'.

The whole idea of the new generation of 'reality' shows is to create an 'emotional infection'. While the characters in a soap opera act and evoke emotions, reality shows set up a showdown of some kind which induce emotions, spontaneously.

In Nach Baliye, for example, it's the long drawn out sequence on Thursdays where couples are asked to move one by one into the 'suraksha chakra'. Those who make it to the next round are relieved and happy, while those left behind start looking tense and even tearful.

The suspense stretches on and on before the results are finally announced - just to add to the anxiety of all parties.

Of course, the judges also add the 'emotion' element to the contest with their sometimes-outlandish behaviour (Saroj Khan got up and gave what looked like a 'paanch sau ka note' to Varun and Rajeshwari, and their choreographer. Why? Because that's what her guruji used to do when she gave an outstanding performance!).

'It could be me'
The other master stroke by the producers was the inclusion of some older couples like Sachin-Supriya and Archana Puran Singh- Parmeet Sethi. The viewer was not expecting much from them, so when Sachin and Supriya put up a dazzling performance in the first two rounds it came as a pleasant surprise.

Everyone likes to root for the underdog and a 40+ couple is - in such a contest - definitely just that. The fact that Supriya-Sachin, through their hard work and dedication, managed to pull off such a feat gives some pride and hope to the vast middle aged couple audience . "Dekho ji," you can hear the Mrs saying and abhi-to-hum-jawaan-hai Mr nodding happily.

On the other hand, I don't particularly care for the Archana-Parmeet jodi (for one I think Archana's sticky-stick parrot green and orange outfit in the last episode was just not suiting her age - or less-than-svelte size).

But hey, that's a very personal opinion.

Other points to note
On the cheesy side, the costume designer emplpyed for the compere Sangeeta 'Des Mein Nikla Hoga Chaand' Ghosh seems to have been given one simple brief: friend-of- the-bride-look at Punju wedding.

On a more positive note, the importance given to the choreographers is heartening. After all, they really have a lot of contribution in the success/ failure of the contestants. Right from choice of song to steps to amount of practice! So it's good that the winning choregrapher gets a Rs 20 lakhs prize.

The strangest thing of all was the message flashed before what is ostensibly a 'family' show which read: "This show may be unsuitable viewing for children". OK, so they had something called a 'sensuous round' but if it's really unsuitable then telecast it after 11 pm!

I'm guessing the message was put in just in case some mahila manch type protested 'you are corrupting our children'. But these days things seem quiet on that front - how many channels can those poor souls battle? They've simply given up.

Soap Opera element
On camera, it's all we-are-one-big-happy-family and its-only-a-contest. But after Sai and Shakti were voted out they shared some grouses with Midday:
- Some couples took as many as 5 'retakes' to get their act perfect - isn't this supposed to be a 'reality' show?
- Some couples made a big deal about their 'injuries' and got unnecessary sympathy from the judges(Archana danced with a neck brace, Shilpa with a broken tooth)

Sai and Shakti had earlier alleged that the older couples were being 'favoured' by judges.

Maybe they are just poor losers but, this could be just the beginning. As more couples bow out the bitching might escalate and we might enjoy an added dose of 'reality'. Which, in turn, will probably fuel more enthu among the viewing public to send in SMS votes.

Bottomline: Indian junta is gleefully swallowing reality shows - but they prefer the naach-gaana routine to 'Survivor' type adventure.

The caveat is that me-too won't work - a Nach Baliye copy for example will bomb. Channels will have to scratch their heads and come up with formats that are interesting and original. And the stakes are high enough now to make that happen!

Home 'too sweet' home

We once shifted into a house where the previous occupant had left behind a fridge magnet which read "A clean house is a sign of a misspent life".

And I would partly agree. I mean, sure, you don't want to live in a dirty house but I do so hate picture-perfect living spaces. They look so very unlived in!

So let me modify that to an 'immaculately interior-decorated' home, to me, is a sign of a misspent life.

When I step into a house where everything matches with everything else, not a cushion is out of place - and it's not even a formal dinner party - I feel a small, inward cringe. If the home is truly outstanding, I even feel a little bit like a kid in a china shop.

Growing up, there was one home of this kind in our building. In a colony of scientists where the prevailing fashions were divans and rexine sofas, this one home had carefully laid out expensive antique furniture. It reminded me of a museum no one ever visited.

The aunty in this house was rumoured to be related to the Nizam of Hyderabad - no idea if there was any truth in it. The kids were the only I knew outside Enid Blyton books who actually went to boarding school.

The lasting impression I have of this 'lovely' home : cold and unwelcoming. A very personal - and perhaps biased - impression but hard to erase.

I mean it's personal choice, how much time and energy (and money) you want to invest in home decor but I would much rather eat, read or sleep than bother about putting together a living room that could make it to the centrespread of 'Inside Outside' magazine.

But if I really really had to put my passion into a building project (assuming I ever have that kind of money!) - 'Amazing Vacation Homes' (Discovery Travel & Living) would be the way to go. Amen.

Blog Quake Day

There is no visible outpouring of grief and relief for the victims of the Kashmir earthquake - unlike what happened when the same tragedy hit Gujarat.

Why this is the case is a matter of debate. But I'll save that for some other day.

Right now, I have decided to send a donation to 'SOS Children's Villages of India' - an organisation my dad has been supporting for many years with annual contributions.

The SOS Srinagar village has offered to provide long-term care to over 100 children who have lost both their parents in the earthquake. SOS India looks after 2 lakh children through its 37 SOS Villages and 122 community projects. And I like their philosophy.

SOS gives the children, a closest alternative toa natural family i.e. a SOS family where they find a mother, brothers and sisters to grow up with. Within the security of a family, children can grow-up into independent and responsible citizens of society.

What SOS believes in is not running an orphanage but giving orphans the chance to grow up in a 'family' atmosphere.

A SOS family consists of 9 or 10 children who live together with their 'SOS Mother' in a family home. A family home has 3 rooms for children, a room for the Mother, a large living room, a kitchen and a garden.Each Village has between 10 to 20 family homes. The incharge of the Village is a Director, a father figure who has a team of co-workers to run the administration, guide and help the mothers and children.

Heck, like regular parents they even worry about getting the kids married

SOS Children's Villages of India not only commits itself for taking total care of children when they are brought home in its Villages but settle them through marriages. The marriage cell at National Co-ordination Office was established to provide support to the Villages for organizing marriages of the youth.

So, that's where my money is going for now. Because all things being equal, my heart always goes out to the suffering of children the most.

Email: soscvi@vsnl.com; Website: www.soscvindia.org

The Fame Game

In a couple of hours from now the winners of the Fame Gurukul contest will be announced and I have little doubt that 'jodi no 1' is going to be Qazi and Ruprekha.

Why? Well, there were only 3 choices. The boy-boy jodi of Rex and Qazi will never get enough votes. Rex and Ruprekha? Well, going by the Indian Idol precedent the winner is going to be the better looking one.

My daughter Nivedita puts it quite simply. "Mummy", she said, "I want to vote for Qazi. Why? "Because he is nice, he has curly hair.". Rex? "No, he is fat..."

Uh huh. So it's really not about singing talent, which incidentally, all the three finalists on Fame Gurukul don't rate highly on, in my book. The talent on Indian Idol was far better).

Draamebaazi and crocodile tears are what sustained interest in Fame - and of course, the antics of Qazi.

Qazi is one of those 'born performers'. He knows what buttons to push with an audience - that's how he's logged in 60 lakh votes already.

The voting decision is based on a 'blink' moment, who people feel they 'like' more. It could be Qazi's 'puppy dog eyes', his silly grin. The fact that he's a Hrithik look-alike and dance-alike could have worked against him but surprisingly hasn't.

The multi-channel blitz
What is interesting about Fame is how Sony has managed to raise a mediocre show to a much higher level through a series of alliances.

Most visible (and relevant) was the MTV-Fame Gurukul tie up where V J Sophie took viewers 'behind the scenes', right after the original show aired on Sony.

Then there's what appears to be a TV Today tie-up - the show was 'aired' on Red FM 93.5 and tonight Aaj Tak devoted its entire "Aapka sawaal" show to the question of 'who will be the next Fame jodi'.

A mini-site has been set up on Sify where you can watch videos of shows you might have missed etc.

The idea being, wherever you turn you have Fame Gurukul pouring out of your ears - so like it or not, you can't ignore it. Of course, all this must have cost Sony big bucks but that's what it will take from now on to build big shows.

On a final, and personal note, I also like the fact that Qazi is a Kashmiri. His winning Fame Gurukul would, I think, bring in a much-needed connect between the youth of Kashmir and the mainstream of India.

So yes, my vote was with Qazi and Ruprekha - and it would surprise me greatly if results turn out differently. Let's wait and see... !

Update: Qazi and Ruprekha DID win.

The amount of time Mandira "dunno-why-she-is-popular" Bedi took to announce the winners truly got on my nerves! It was timed perfectly though... 10.30 pm onwards 'AajTak' flashed the Qazi-Ruprekha 'fame jodi' as Breaking News. (!) The channel had already thoughtfully lined up the families of the winners - in Srinagar and Kolkata - to gush about their honhaar bachche.

So a non-event became national 'breaking news' and gets a full half-hour show devoted to it as well.

The ratings which come in (likely to be good - as there was no interesting 'real news' on other channels at the time) will lead to many more such 'advertorial' tie-ups. Be sure that Nach Balliye will use a similar strategy, with Star News in its own channel portfolio.

The ultimate irony, isn't it? 'Reality shows' and their contestants becoming more real and newsworthy for viewers ... than reality itself.

Kadwa chauth

'Karva chauth' is a festival which really really gets my goat. I mean why, why in this day and age does it still remain the 'done thing' for millions of women - including the younger generation - in north India?

In India and Nepal, Hindu married women observe a fast on Krishna Chaturthi of Kartik (October-November) . The only aim of this fast is to save the husband from an untimely death and have a long married life.

After taking bath in the early morning, before sunrise, women should undertake a vow for welfare of the husband, sons and grandsons. Shiv, Parvati, Kartikeya, Ganesh and the moon (Chandrama) are worshipped. The fast is broken only after seeing the moon.

The origins of this festival are murky. One story that is always related on this day...

A lady called Veeravati broke her fast and her husband died. She preserved the body of her husband and he came back to life the next Karva Chauth. It is believed that a Pati-Vrat woman has the power to confront the God of Death, Yama.

I would have thought that modern young women would gradually lose interest in a festival with such retro contours:

The fast is a rigorous one as the wife does not even drink water on this day. In the evening, all married women, dressed in gorgeous wedding garments and jewelery, undertake worship. As the moon rises, they bow down at the feet of their husbands and give the decorated plate with fruit and other material to their mother in law. This festival deepens the relation between the wife, the husband and the mother in law.

However, interest in the festival has in fact increased.

Bollywood has had several poignant 'karva chauth' sequences (remember Shahrukh and Kajol in DDLJ) and of course beauty parlours and other commerical estabishments have jumped into the fray offering 'full day packages' to keep hungry-thirsty women occupied till moonrise. Esp so in the very dekho-ji-maine-kitne-paise-kharch-kiye culture of Delhi.

Life in the 'fast' lane
Actually I would categorise karva chauth fastees into 3 categories:
a) Sab karte hain: Everyone's doing it, so you do too. This applies especially to those women who live in joint families.

Some of course actually enjoy all the shringar, sacrifice and saas-saheli bonding. Others play along, knowing that resistance is futile in the face of biradari and expectant mother-in-laws. !

Aur kuch nahin to kuch maal to milega :)

b) 'What if...': This lot is not very keen on the fast but keeps it anyways thinking of it like an annual insurance policy. Just in case something terrible does happen, there can never be any fingers pointed at her for not even keeping 'karva chauth'.

c) 'So romantic'!: Lastly, there is this new breed of women who don't actually believe in pati-parmeshwar but think it's a very cute and romantic thing to do. Many expect the husband - in SRK-DDLJ style - to also deprive himself ("Dear, at least keep a fruit juice fast", they might kindly offer).

This lot expects the fast to be broken over a romantic dinner and/ or a special gift. Engaged and 'newly married' types are usually to be found in this category - as u might well expect!

In the 'slow' lane
As for me - no I am not fasting and not feeling in the least bit guilty about it. Luckily for me mother in law does not believe in this stuff although for years my mom emotionally blackmailed me into it ('fasting is good for health also you know').

After reading all this I'm sure the word that comes to most readers minds will be: 'feminist'. But you know what, I'm more of a practical feminist than a crusading one. I pick and choose my battles.

So, I'd rather hold a (metaphorical) gun to Yatin's head for an issue like 'who will wake up early and pack off Nivedita to school', than extract a pledge for a one-time fasting ritual.

Bottomline: Each to her own, of course. Some find it a sweet tradition - but for me it leaves more of a kadwa aftertaste.

Here's hoping the moon does peep out on time tonight - for those who feel otherwise!

What is this life...

If full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?

People Like Us, with hectic 'urban professional' lives will nod sagely in agreement with that old school poem.

But, there's a tribe whose profession it is now, to simply stand and stare. I often pass a bunch of them on my way to work, standing on the Eastern Express Highway.

Thin, dark, wiry and sweating profusely - despite the 'free' caps on their heads - these are yet another by-product of our labour-surplus economy: Human Billboards.

OK, so what these young fellows actually do is hold up a placard - a dozen of them standing at 5 metre intervals. Mumbai's radio channels, which are currently fighting for supremacy in the morning listenership segment, seem to be the biggest patrons of this new 'medium'.

Yesterday it was 'Radio City' trying to attract car listenership to its morning program where Sunidhi Chauhan was apparently singing live. A couple of weeks ago it was 'Radio Mirchi' exhorting us to tune in to Bollywood stars like Kareena and Preity hosting their morning show.

I feel sorry for those 'human billboards', many of their placards drooping in direct proportion to the mercury rising as the day progresses. On the other hand, in the books of a slum-kid it's probably good money for 'doing nothing'. That kid could be standing crushing stones in a quarry, expending hard physical labour, and still earning far less.

No doubt there is a middleman who 'supplies' these boys and makes the lion's share of it though!

Stareway to Heaven
However, what's more intriguing to me is the rise and rise of these 'stand and stare' jobs. If you are a lower middle class type, with sub-optimal educational qualifications, your 'dream job' today would probably be with a security agency.

Don a uniform, a dull vacant, stare and stand in air conditioned comfort at the local mall. I'm not saying the job isn't necessary - at Vashi's Centre One it's amazing how many people are still wary of climbing onto escalators or doing so for the first time!

It's just that the job seems so boring, pointless and routine... But that, I guess is what 90% of jobs in this world are about.

So stand, and stare. No boughs, or sheep and cows, but I'll occasionally stare back from my car window - if that's any consolation.

On 'changing the world'

Hmm, hate to say I told you so but way back in March, I expressed a similar thought. Of course, I merely stated Sania was 'more than a tennis player'. The New Statesman, described by HT as one of the 'most respected political-literary-cultural weeklies in the UK has listed Sania as one of the men and women who will "transform the world".

In his article on Sania, Jason Cowley writes about the “world-transforming potential of a young, attractive, articulate and media-smart teenage Muslim tennis star”. Like it or not the 'M' word has been used. The scarcity of Muslim women in any profession involving wearing of short skirts is glaring enough to lead to that reference.

But this being the NS, the idea is to see Sania — and her sport — as a symbol of a bigger, more sociologically significant phenomenon. “Muhammad Ali, Pele, Evonne Goolagong, Viv Richards, the so-called ghetto Cinderellas Venus and Serena Williams and the Chinese basketball star Yao Ming — these sporting icons, because of their fame, achievement and corporate power, have helped to transform the way mainstream sporting audiences think about race, gender and the old political structures that once controlled the games we play.

“Can Mirza have a similarly transformative effect, not only in India but also throughout the world? She may not have won a major tournament, yet already she occupies a role through which flow many of the most significant intellectual and cultural currents of our times: the clash between secularism and political Islam, the emancipation of women in the Muslim world, the dominance of celebrity, the tyranny of the image, the emergence of India as a world power,” Cowley writes.

Well, I would really like to buy into this - though Sania has a long way to go before she can be compared to Pele and Muhammad Ali in terms of sporting achievement. I personally believe she will get there but even if she doesn't reach the heights of a Serena Williams, I would not crucify her. She's gone further than any Indian woman has gone before in her sport.

Whenever she speaks I'm amazed she still has her young head on her shoulders. Which is more than can be said about our not-so-young (and far worse performing) cricketers.

Also on the New Statesman list: US Senator Barack Obama; physicist Anton Zeilinger; Iranian filmmaker Samira Makhmalbaf; environmentalist Aubrey Meyer; the Emir of Qatar; Kierra Box, “20-year-old politico-prodigy”; Net entrepreneur Brewster Kahle, Victoria Hale, whose healthcare group brings cheap medicine to the poor; and Mo Ibrahim, chief of the fastest growing mobile phone group in sub-Saharan Africa.

Glad to see a list of relatively unknown names... that itself is a welcome change in a run-of-the-mill-celeb-hungry media world!

The Age of the Underdog

With Sachin and Saurav, Amitabh and Preity Zinta appearing in too many ads to make any material difference to the brands they endorse, advertisers are signing on an entirely new class of celebrity.

It's about time, coz study after study shows that celebrity endorsements are becoming increasingly ineffective, although this varies across cultures and target groups.

Certainly, young people are becoming increasingly indifferent to a "I use this soap, so should you" kind of endorsement in India as well. The connect has to happen at a deeper much level.

New endorsers
Coke has just announced that it is signing up Jassi, Rajyavardhan Rathore to endorse the brand in India. This is the first time the brand is moving out of the Bollywood-cricket celebrity circuit.

"Both Singh and Rathore are seen as achievers, as go-getters in real life. They have stepped out of the shadows of anonymity to fame by the sheer dint of their hard work, " said Vikas Gupta, V-P Marketing, Coca-Cola, speaking to the TOI.

Hmm. So, the age of the Underdog is here. Even Abhishek Bacchhan, the current superhero, darling of the masses is all the more loved for the fact that he had to struggle through flop after flop before finally making an impact.

Then, there was Iqbal.

But, there is a thin line between being a loser, and an underdog.

Losers whine, while underdogs eventually shine
Losers blame the world for their problems, while underdogs try to see the problems in themselves, as well.
Losers are victims of their circumstances, underdogs overcome them

In that context, it's hard to understand how both Jassi and Rathore qualify as "go-getters". Jassi is a fictional characer. Mona Singh is playing a role - she herself was a successful model before getting into acting.

The old Jassi was an underdog. The new Jassi is a loser.

And Rathore - India's only individual silver medallist at the Olympics - is really in a class of his own!

What next: Pepsi and Abhijeet Sawant?

Life after 10/10

I hesitate as I write this, my first regular blog post in 6 days. It used to be so easy. Ideas danced in my head. Words took form without much effort. Fingers flew on the keyboard.

190 posts, over 100,000 words worth of thought and feeling were expressed through this space in the last 8 months.

And now, I hesitate. Because innocence is lost.Because my space is no longer my own.

Now, there are gawkers and stalkers. Waiting to seize on what I write next. Which completely drains away the pleasure of writing. The reason I blog in the first place.

Can the old feeling be recaptured? Maybe, in time. Maybe, never wholly or in complete measure.

Like a post 9-11 New York, the post 10-10 blogosphere is changed, forever. For better or worse, only time will tell.

Comments policy hereon: IIPM comments on posts unrelated to the subject will be deleted. Personal and petty comments unrelated to the subject of a post will be deleted.

Caution Notice re: IIPM in Outlook magazine

1) Published in Outlook magazine issue dt 4 July 2005, on page 87

2) Published in Outlook magazine issue dt 18 July 2005, on page 34

Thank you, bloggers

The spontaneous and spirited support from bloggers all over is deeply appreciated.

Updates, tomorrow.

Lies, damned lies and fake blogs

It feels strange to issue a clarification about an imaginary expose written about on an anonymous blog created 48 hours ago with 0 links (and I won't gratify them by providing the first one). But since Gaurav has blogged about it, and it's in the public domain, here's the deal:

The anonymous blogger wrote
"An article by a dubious small-time publication called JAMMAG on IIPM was sponsored by Amity, it turns out. Aaj tak ran a sting operation where it was revealed on camera that JAMMAG, accepted money in cash from Amity group of educational institutions to write a negative story on IIPM, Amity's cmopetitor for business education programs at the post graudate and undergradute level.

The Aaj tak story has JAMMAG employees on camera talking of the deal... and referring to another such deal for a engineering college which wanted to smear the respected IIT Mumbai."

Yeah, right! And the Pope is fasting because it's the holy month of Ramzan!!

There has been no story on Aajtak re: JAM magazine.
There is no expose because there is nothing to expose.

JAM is a magazine which, in the student interest, printed an article to verify some of the claims made by MBA institute IIPM in its advertisements.

Incidentally, the institute spent Rs 5.1 crores on advertising in May 2005 alone, making it the highest advertiser in print for that month, according to the Economic Times.

As for Amity, here's what I've written about them in the recent past

Credibility Crisis
Considering how 'dubious' and 'small time' JAM is purported to be, someone out there is sure going through a LOT of trouble anyways.

A series of 'blogs' (3 created two days ago and 7 created one day ago) have sprouted up, extolling the virtues of studying at IIPM. They are named:

IIPM Infrastructure
IIPM Rankings
IIPM Rankings 'The Real Truth'
Great Lecture by Sir Geoffrey Owen at IIPM
Placements IIPM
Summer Placement in Planman
IIPM is ahead of its time
IIPM's Publication and Research
Real Gaurav Sabnis (To know what Gaurav 'flesh and blood blogger' Sabnis has to say about that click here)

And they even feature 'comments' such as this:

IIPMstudent9 said...
I dont agree - Hindustan Lever, McKinsey and Bank of America came to campus in IIPM Bangalore - but they only offer 7 lac - 8 lac packages! My friends were happy, buit I'm looking for 12 lac packages... guess the international placements will be able to do that... I heard in New York IIPM students get 20 - 25 lacs...
2005 Student

RealGauravSabnis said...
This IIPM movement is really catching on ... here in the UK everyone is talking about your institute after Prof. Arindam Chowdhry attended meetings with Prime Minister Blair, to promote his book The Great Indian Dream,... Cheers!

And oh, 'The Real Gaurav Sabnis' has also blogged about attending a lecture by Prof. Raymond Richardson from the London School of Academics...

There is nothing more I have to say. Or can say. Except send me a copy of that tape! And do mark a copy to Aajtak!!

Scratch and wonder

When you travel Indian Airlines there are no surprises.

The flight takes off an hour late - and of course there are no proper announcements.

The air hostesses are middle-aged, frumpy and despite years of experience don't know how to apply their lipstick.

While other airlines take exactly 30 seconds to show you the safety procedure, that too as the plane is taxiing on the runaway, IA takes the long route. The air hostesses limply fling their arms back and forth showing you the emergency exits (like kids standing in the very back of P.T. class, pretending to do the exercises).

Should there actually be an emergency I bet the IA crew would be the first ones down the chute...

Anyways, the point is there was a little surprise on my flight - out of the little plastic packet which holds the napkins and cutlery came this little 'scratch card'. The purpose of this card was unclear - you don't stand to win anything. And this is what it said:

"Janki and Meera are Raju's wives. Shobha is Meera's stepdaughter. How is Janki related to Shobha?"

Scratch and you find the answer: "Mother".

I am foxed. What kind of thinking could be going into producing this 'food for thought' in addition to the food on the tray ( the only area where IA is actually superior to private airlines).

a) Bigamy is illegal in India. Raju, being a Hindu, cannot have two wives!

b) Couldn't we just have questions like "What is the capital of Uttaranchal"?

c) Shouldn't someone be pulled up for wasting money on useless initiatives like this (scratch cards are not cheap to print - JAM wanted to do one, so I know!)

OK - so we all have choices and don't really have to fly Indian Airlines. Unless like my dad, the government pays for your tickets. In that case, happy scratch card collecting!

Break ke baad

Hum chale Bangalore ki hawaa khaane
Do chaar din blog ko bhagwaan jaane

See ya Friday!

Crazy banaya isne

I don't know what it is with this song, but it's everywhere. The movie's a resounding flop but 'Aashiq banaya aapne' is a major hit. It is in fact the top selling Hindi film soundtrack at the moment.

And I am sick of it.

There's this new trend of song-hits from flop-films. Woh Lamhe was one such example -but that was a catchy tune.

My personal favourite right now is Aashayein from Iqbal.
Kuch karne ki ho aas aas
Kuch armaan dil ke paas paas
Aashayein, aashayein.

Both the lyrics and the tune are fantastic. Of course, so was the film.

No escape
The reason why songs like Aashiq banaya aapne are inescapable is that not only do you hear it being played over and over on FM radio, there are folks who inflict it on you as their 'caller tune'. (What is known as a 'ringback' tone in many markets)

I never thought people would pay 30 bucks a month for the pleasure of playing music instead of the regular 'tring tring' but who knew? Logic and reason don't operate in the mobile market, we otherwise kanjoos Indians will fork out small bits of cash for just about anything.

According to a report on the BSNL website
It is estimated that 20-25 per cent of the 56-million mobile subscribers in India are paying for ring-back tones and downloading ring tones. The 20-25 per cent growth every month again shows how popular such applications have become. People are willing to shell out nearly Rs 30 a month for ring-back tones, with Rs 15 for the initial download and Rs 9 for each ring tone download!

This explosive growth has contributed to the bottomline of operators in India, who are targeting 7 per cent of their total revenue from downloads in the next two to three years.

And now, Orange has introduced sms tones.

While some may believe 'phone sirf baat karne ke liye hota hai', others obviously believe it's a jukebox. And aashiq banaya aapne is what gets their booty shakin'... Sigh!

The 'Women Behind ICICI'

The 'women behind ICICI' have won this year's Economic Times award for Corporate Excellence under the category Businessman/ Businesswoman of the Year.

I have mixed feelings about this. No doubt Chanda Kochhar (executive director, retail), Kalpana Morparia (deputy MD) and Lalita Gupte (joint MD) deserve to be honoured. But, collectively?

The paper's logic: "These three I bankers complement each other and very often in tandem. Given this all-for-one and one-for-all stance, it was deemed fit to club the three into a single candidate."

If all 3 women genuinely agree with the one-for-all and all-for-one theory - great. But at some point, don't their personal identitites come into the picture?

I for one have had the experience of working at a place where I was part of such a 'team'. And it got pretty sickening. My boss referred to the two of us as 'Me 1' and 'Me 2'. Anything we did was attributed to collective effort.

Of course I was an immature 22 years old at the time and it was my first real job. Maybe with age, you achieve wisdom along with that white hair and such things cease to matter.

Smokey Signals
Speaking to ET about the decision, Harish Manwani said that recognising the Women Behind ICICI could send out a signal that they are role models. "It shows that it's not just the odd person who can make it but a group of women. Recognising their contribution makes a huge statement for all professional women."

Yes and no. It also makes the statement that maybe you can succeed at ICICI Bank, which is believed to be 'gender neutral' or 'woman friendly' - depending which sex you belong to. But if you are somewhere out there in a more hostile, traditionally male dominated company - don't count on it.

I now look forward to more such 'signals' from ET - maybe an award to 'The Men who Made it Big Even Though They Never Wore Ties'. Or 'Brothers Who Fought in Public but Still Air-kiss at Parties'!

Rules of coverage
I don't want to crib too much about it, but clearly the rules of engagement - and coverage - differ for men and women. For example, in a fluff piece ("Coffee, Croissants and Chop Talk") on what the jurors ate while deliberating on who should get the award, there's this illuminating para:

"Among the first to arrive was Kumarmangalam Birla and Sanjay Nayar, who were joined by Anu Aga, looking very elegant in her block printed white tussar sari, the black paisleys standing out against the bright orange and yellow border".

No idea why such a detailed description of the lady's sari is required. I mean paisleys and borders is taking it too too far!

A very senior female manager whom I met at a party narrated another story on this theme - she was featured by ET in an article on Women Bankers. "They interviewed me for 1.5 hours and in the end wrote more about my husband, kids and the clothes I was wearing than my work. I was really embarassed... Would they do the same for a profile on a male banker?"

Bottomline: The 3-in-1 award was the most politically correct thing to do. If it had to be ICICI there was no other way out.

Incidentally, Renuka Ramnath of ICICI Venture Fund and Shikha Sharma of ICICI Prudential were also nominees in the 'Businesswoman of the Year' category. But as those are separate companies, we didn't have a '5-in'1' situation. So those two lovely ladies can still hope to qualify for a solo award - someday!

Footnote: Two can tango
I'm not saying two or three people can't be jointly awarded - Lakshmi Narayanan and Francisco D'Souza of Cognizant Technologies receiving the award for 'Entrepreneur of the year' makes sense. It's like Larry Page and Sergey Brin @ Google - both took the risk of starting the company.

What was really impressive, however, was that Cognizant was recognised as the 'fastest growing company in the IT sector' even though Narayan Murty happened to be the jury chairman. I mean it's only what we'd expect from NRN, but still.

It takes a real sense of fairplay and 'greater common good' to acknowledge the success of others in one's own industry. There were, after all, other worthy nominees such as Capt Gopinath of Air Deccan and Kishore Biyani of Pantaloon! A lesser juror could easily have nudged a decision their way.

Human error II

It's my mistake, and mine alone. Last week I could blame the spell-check. This week, it's my own muddled brain.

In my story for Businessworld's b school issue titled "Faculty Dilemma" I've mentioned that Jim Collins was a 'Distinguished Teacher' at Stanford University before he authored the classic 'In Search of Excellence'.

I have no idea what I was thinking. I mean who doesn't know that Tom Peters authored that book? The only explanantion I can offer is that Jim Collins' books" 'Good to Great' and 'Built to Last' are kind of similar in theme. "Let's identify the x, y and z factors which make companies excellent..."

Sorry, Tom. That is a really lame excuse. Whatever amends are posssible, will be made. The online version has been corrected already.

The PM recently gave a bhaashan about the need for journalists to be more careful with the facts. Well, I humbly agree.

Except to say that even worse than carelessness is deliberate misrepresentation of facts. And on that count at least I plead "not guilty".

Businessworld B school rankings 2005

The Businessworld B school rankings are out. Again, when several prominent institutes choose to stay away there is a big problem. What to do about the missing institutes?

BW tries to get around this problem by not ranking the top 10 at all and just presenting the list in alphabetical order (like Outlook, secondary data has been used to include IIM A, B and C).

This is obviously a letdown as the 'rankings' start only from # 11 onwards. But the only other alternative would have been to rank MDI as # 1 and we know what a stir that would have caused - besides not reflecting the reality at all.

On a lighter note, Fore School must be glad for choosing to name itself by a letter of the alphabet before 'I' - in the alphabetical listing it comes out right on top!

My contribution
As you may have noticed, I have contributed a few stories to the BW B school issue - the main one is on the 'Faculty Dilemma' (my huge serious looking picture is next to the article :).

I've also done a small profile of Allwin (pagalguy.com) 'cause I think his forum has made a huge impact on the information flow in the b school admission process.

I've also written a small piece on the whole idea of B schools with multiple branches (I have mixed feelings about that - but I guess the demand for MBA is so high that it seems to make sense for established mid tier schools to 'scale up' - just like a coaching class would).

Lastly is a small note on placements - the fact that a student from IIM B has already got a pre placement offer of 105,000 pounds (Rs 84 lakhs) which is of course CTC and all that but I am fully expecting "IIM students gets Rs 1 crore salary" to be a headline next March. It's just a question of someone offering 15,000 pounds more.

Net: net I wish B schools could set aside the past and all come together for a comprehensive ranking exercise. Their concerns and problems should be addressed, of course. But staying away year after year is not really the answer.

I personally think rankings should be done every 2 or even 3 years. Because then there would be scope for real improvement or change in the status at a B school on the various parameters.
As they say in MBA classrooms it's time to think 'out of the box'.

Gizmos ki pyaas hai badi

Pepsi has hitched its brand to the 'gizmofy yourself' bandwagon. Their new sales promo features advertising on FM radio that goes something like this:

"That new girl in my class Jessica, she's taken the entire hard disk of my heart. When she speaks, lagta hai Ipod baj raha hai... " etc etc.

I am sure some complex research would have thrown up that technology is the coolest thing going for teens. Especially boys.

The promo asks you to peel off the wrapper from the PET bottle and sms the number printed there to a short code service like 8243. Everyone gets free wallpapers and ringtones (I'm guessing 'Oye Bubbly' and Pepsi theme wallpapers). Once you collect 100 points you get to download mobile games ; the lucky ones may win iPods, PS2s and so on.

That's what I call 'piggyback marketing'. Instead of these gizmo wallahs having to spend money on developing the market, megabrands seeking to associate themselves with what's cool' are doing the job for them!

Good buy
I am in fact amazed at the number of companies giving away free iPods - there's McDonalds and the newspaper DNA I can recall offhand but there are more. On the other hand, I dropped by at 'Vijay Sales' - one of the largest electronics retailers in the city (housed in a 4 storey building opposite Siddhi Vinayak temple) and they were 'out' of iPods.

Is it selling like hotcakes? Or is Vijay Sales just too busy selling 'white goods' - TVs, fridges and microwaves - to the Great Indian Upper Middle Class?

Frankly, their range of gizmos is woeful - abt 15 models of digicams and handycams, two dozen mobile phones, a dozen MP3 players. None of the buzz you get when you go to Singapore or Tokyo or even Malaysia where electronic outlets offer you a veritable feast of goodies. In everywhich colour, shape, style and known/ unknown brand.

In digicams for instance Vijay Sales does not even stock brands such as Fuji and Nikon. Only Canon, Kodak and Samsung - with a single model of Sony thrown in for good effect. It's like going to a saree shop where you have maal in just 5 prints and 6 colours!

The grey market remains far more exciting to buy from (the dealers there may not wear ties but they know their stuff inside out and have a far wider range).

Guess it will take a few years before we as a country are well and truly gizmofied as far as real world retailing goes. Meanwhile gizmo-lovers are busy shopping for bargains online.

According to a survey done by Internet and Mobile Association of India (IAMAI) 74% of those who bought gadgets online were between 18 and 35 years. The biggest buyers were in the 26-35 age groups which accounted for 48 per cent of buys.

Clearly these are the folks stuck to their office computers for the most part of the day. The kind of folks who may never have gone out into the real world to shop in the first place!

According the the report, Rs 48.4 crores worth of Electronic Gadgets was sold online in 2004-5 with Rs 119 crores expected to be sold in 2005-6.

Technology products like laptops, MP3 players, mobile phones, digital cameras and pen drives are very popular with online shoppers primarily because of multiple promotions via multiple sellers offering similar products. This enables buyers to comparison-shop and get the best product at the least price.

Internet ki jai ho! Now stop goofing and get back to work.

A novel idea

There are more newspapers now in Bombay than anyone can possibly read. All report pretty much the same news - and even the features are not spectacularly different. What every publisher must be in search of is a USP so here's an idea : a serialised novel.

Works by Charles Dickens, Henry James, Alexander Dumas, William Thackeray and Thomas Hardy originally made their debut in this manner. As did Flaubert's Madame Bovary.

More recently the San Fransisco Chronicle ran Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin in serialised form. That's what led to 44, Scotland Street actually. After bumping into Maupin at a party author Alexander McCall Smith wrote an article for The Herald about "what a pity it was that newspapers didn't do serial novels any more".

The response from the paper's main rival, The Scotsman, was - "You're on". When McCall Smith suggested that a chapter every week was quite a tall order, the reply was "no, not weekly, daily". The author was so flabbergasted that he agreed.

The daily column that came out of that exchange has now been compiled and published as a book - "44 Scotland Steet". It comprises of 109 short chapters of 850 odd words - as dictated by the need to publish a daily installment.

So it's a little different from novels in general and also McCall's own previous books (if you have not read his No 1 Ladies Detective Agency series - you're really missing something!).

The great thing is that once again the amazing Alexander McCall Smith has created a little world populated with characters that come alive and that you can relate to. They just happen to live in Botswana or Edinburgh - but they represent some very universal human traits.

He reminds you of R K Narayan - although his writing is even better in terms of the wry humour or observations made. For example:

"It was a long narrow room , decorated in the obligatory Danish minimalist style, which meant there was no furniture. She had always thought that Danish minimalism should have been the cheapest style available, because it involved nothing, but in fact it was the most expensive. The empty spaces in Danish minimalism were what cost the money". :)

44 Scotland Street's cast includes, among others:
Pat - a confused young woman taking her second gap year
Bruce - her narcissistic flatmate who applies hairgel that smells of clove and thinks he is God's gift to the world
Irene - a pushy mom who forces her 5 year old son to learn Italian and play the saxophone.

There are Pats, Bruces and Irenes amidst us, here in Mumbai too!

I do hope some newspaper editor and some imaginative writer rise to the challenge and publish a similar series in India. The important thing is that no one with literary pretensions should be allowed near the project!

The idea, after all, is to keep junta hooked to a rivetting story. Not scratching their heads, wondering what the hell the author meant when he wrote his sentences.

Magic realism is all very well but the best kind of magic is realism - deftly and definitively written!