'Karva chauth' is a festival which really really gets my goat. I mean why, why in this day and age does it still remain the 'done thing' for millions of women - including the younger generation - in north India?
In India and Nepal, Hindu married women observe a fast on Krishna Chaturthi of Kartik (October-November) . The only aim of this fast is to save the husband from an untimely death and have a long married life.
After taking bath in the early morning, before sunrise, women should undertake a vow for welfare of the husband, sons and grandsons. Shiv, Parvati, Kartikeya, Ganesh and the moon (Chandrama) are worshipped. The fast is broken only after seeing the moon.
The origins of this festival are murky. One story that is always related on this day...
A lady called Veeravati broke her fast and her husband died. She preserved the body of her husband and he came back to life the next Karva Chauth. It is believed that a Pati-Vrat woman has the power to confront the God of Death, Yama.
I would have thought that modern young women would gradually lose interest in a festival with such retro contours:
The fast is a rigorous one as the wife does not even drink water on this day. In the evening, all married women, dressed in gorgeous wedding garments and jewelery, undertake worship. As the moon rises, they bow down at the feet of their husbands and give the decorated plate with fruit and other material to their mother in law. This festival deepens the relation between the wife, the husband and the mother in law.
However, interest in the festival has in fact increased.
Bollywood has had several poignant 'karva chauth' sequences (remember Shahrukh and Kajol in DDLJ) and of course beauty parlours and other commerical estabishments have jumped into the fray offering 'full day packages' to keep hungry-thirsty women occupied till moonrise. Esp so in the very dekho-ji-maine-kitne-paise-kharch-kiye culture of Delhi.
Life in the 'fast' lane
Actually I would categorise karva chauth fastees into 3 categories:
a) Sab karte hain: Everyone's doing it, so you do too. This applies especially to those women who live in joint families.
Some of course actually enjoy all the shringar, sacrifice and saas-saheli bonding. Others play along, knowing that resistance is futile in the face of biradari and expectant mother-in-laws. !
Aur kuch nahin to kuch maal to milega :)
b) 'What if...': This lot is not very keen on the fast but keeps it anyways thinking of it like an annual insurance policy. Just in case something terrible does happen, there can never be any fingers pointed at her for not even keeping 'karva chauth'.
c) 'So romantic'!: Lastly, there is this new breed of women who don't actually believe in pati-parmeshwar but think it's a very cute and romantic thing to do. Many expect the husband - in SRK-DDLJ style - to also deprive himself ("Dear, at least keep a fruit juice fast", they might kindly offer).
This lot expects the fast to be broken over a romantic dinner and/ or a special gift. Engaged and 'newly married' types are usually to be found in this category - as u might well expect!
In the 'slow' lane
As for me - no I am not fasting and not feeling in the least bit guilty about it. Luckily for me mother in law does not believe in this stuff although for years my mom emotionally blackmailed me into it ('fasting is good for health also you know').
After reading all this I'm sure the word that comes to most readers minds will be: 'feminist'. But you know what, I'm more of a practical feminist than a crusading one. I pick and choose my battles.
So, I'd rather hold a (metaphorical) gun to Yatin's head for an issue like 'who will wake up early and pack off Nivedita to school', than extract a pledge for a one-time fasting ritual.
Bottomline: Each to her own, of course. Some find it a sweet tradition - but for me it leaves more of a kadwa aftertaste.
Here's hoping the moon does peep out on time tonight - for those who feel otherwise!
To each her own, but then I kinda liked the third category "So romantic" one a lot. I am not married but if my future wife insists on keeping it, I think I will also do the same, for love eh!.. I owe it to DDLJ at the least.
ReplyDeleteBut... this are the small things that keeps us connected to our roots. In this Fast Paced Life.. All the more reason that we must not make this small things extinct. A little faith here and there have never done any harm than good.
u missed a category. i'm sure there are some people who just love their husbands and want them to live long and actually blv that fasting and praying for something u want might help u actually get it?
ReplyDeletemaybe it just depends on what ur familiar with. i guess for me, having never seen my mom, etc fasting and doing puja's ... i feel pretty excited abt things like this. and puja's were also ther rare occasionas when u see moms dressed up and out of jeans and dusty helmets. looking mommish and v sweet :)
to each his own. i guess to me feminism is more abt having a choice ... even the choice to be corny and old fashioned if u like that
Very interesting indeed.
ReplyDeleteHere is adding another perspective. In an increasingly busy life the Karwa chuath is one of the few occassions for the married to get together and spend some time for just each other. They can just reiterate their commitment to each other. I guess A more sedate version of your "Romantic Reason". Or lets say our own desi version of Valentine's day.
Over a period of time (read in a more captalistic society) fasts themselves might change meanings & modes. Some of these changes are already visible when we find those fasting devouring the most exotic delicacies made specially for fasters.
How about restaurants offering an exclusive "Karva Chauth" evening in a strongly traditional ambience with a early sixties movie thrown in along with a kaurva chauth dinner. Special packages for 10+ couples....
I tend to agree with the 'romantic'. i think karva chauth is rather sweet. and scary. imagine, someone going through all that for you. now, that's pressure. and feminism? the less said about it the better. it's a bloody waste of time and definitely detrimental to women's interest. the minute you hear a woman say she's a feminist, you can be pretty sure you're in for a rough ride. because nobody knows what is feminism. come on, hit me! thank you.
ReplyDeleteIf it can be used to make money by people, it ain't goin away.
ReplyDelete--everybody is doing it so lets do it.
ReplyDelete--its romantic.
--this is what they do in movies.
--another reason for get together (kitty party of sortes).
-- Cool Mehendi sessions.
-- another reason to wear that heavy saari and jewellery.
-- pampering from husband (in some cases).
-- something different in the routine life.
BENEFITS ARE MORE THAN THE SACRIFICE.
New tamasha to the whole thing is that Husbands too keep themselves starved cause their wives are sacrificing so much for them , but this is restricted to newly or recently married couples category........ofcourse husbands become much wiser as the years progress.
I am glad Rashmi u dont believe or atleast follow all this (as i thought).
For heavens sake moon is just a satellite to earth ... it will not come to save your husband nor it has any powers to do the same.
ha ha! Why just blame Bollywood, look at all those serials on Star Plus. And in many parts of Delhi (esp North) even single women fast on this day, which is utterly ridiculous
ReplyDeletemy wife and I actually have to be reminded of such days...
ReplyDeleteand we don't keep it ...we love eating too much !
If the tradition had something to do with both men and women starving for each other, then it would be different. People may do it for romantic reasons - but it is still the EXPECTED thing to do. The subtext for a majority of married north Indina women is that it makes them GOOD wives. If a man does it - he's being GOD. :)
ReplyDeleteWhy do we romanticize the notion of being cornered by tradition. I developed a healthy distaste for Karva Chauth thanks to my Mom who was pretty amused by the whole charade. It's one thing to fast for the spouse's health - it's quite another to be forced to do it and judged on the basis of that.
Karva Chauth also causes obesity in Women. They starve all day and when the moon comes out they hog all the rich and heavy food and results in obesity ;-)
ReplyDelete"A lady called Veeravati..."
ReplyDeleteOh, you mean the Chopras or the Johars were *not* the one who started this tradition? :)
Leaving the Karva or KAdwa Chauth issue for a moment, let us think for a moment, why we have these women categories. It is the way we've been brought up at our schools. We just tend to learn Calculus in Math, but we do not learn how to use it. Did you ever know that manufacturing a small tin can that hold 500 gms of garbanzo beans, uses calculus to calculate the diameter? Not many of us do. And the reason is we are so used this mugging up stuff at school that we have completely lost the creativity to think. Why do you blame women who follow customs without thinking, when they have never been made to think. As for the religious aspect of it, there must be a good reason, and I wouldn't comment on this issue without a proper knowledge of the scriptures.
ReplyDeletewell! practically seeing it may seem questionable and may be a futile effort for some but just imagine like this keeping the fast is actually a sweet romantic thing u r doing for ur husband. i mean its just like any other special day when u want to please ur love and wait for him for a special dinner.
ReplyDeleteVery well written Rashmi!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was candid, well written and
placed perspective of atleast one female properly.
I could not stop laughing the Last
line in Pt (a) is actually very honest.
As for me, I am married to a
pseudo-feminist and has been
rocking our boat. Oh, how I
wish she had some more friends
who thought like you.
Well said Rashmi. These so-called pativrata "fasts" really get my goat. In Maharashtrians the Vata Paurnima and Hartalika is done on the same lines.
ReplyDeleteMy mom is the cooler one, does not bother me, but my mom-in-law on the other hand is most enthusiastic about it and I guess she feels a little disappointed when I refuse to do so:-)
After reading all this I'm sure the word that comes to most readers minds will be: 'feminist'.
ReplyDeleteIf this is feminism then this is how it should be. :-)
In fact the question here is much broader than feminism: Why do we Indians stick to silly notions which do not have a basis or have lost all basis.
The way our weddings are performed is also not less stupid. . How was your wedding rashmi? . . oh that's a personal question ! bit my tongue
ReplyDeleteAgree completely! in fact, I went to one such event here in Melbourne and felt I had been transported to a very theth-punjabi household! I look at it as an interesting sociological study.. even looking at the comments on your, you won't believe how many women look at it from the romantic and traditional angle.. and feel they're actually doing something they were meant to.
ReplyDeleteeach to his own would be the best way to deal with it i guess. i'm not married and if my future wife wanted to observe karva chauth, i would try to dissuade her but let in if she's insistent. all for the sake of love, ddlj shtyle! a desi version of valentines day i guess... but there are so many other ways to be romantic than keeping a fast!
ReplyDeleteHi Rashmi!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting to read about Karva Chauth! As a southie, I often used to wonder what this ritual is and your post gave a full blown account of the ritual!! In fact, I was schocked to see even an ad for Chevy Optra focussed on this ritual of Karva chauth! In this age of ultra modern urban women, I am more shocked to hear it is still being observed! Great article anyhow!!
-Venkat
i think the retro-traditions popularised by bollywood & indian tv (think saas-bahu serials) are doing a lot of harm, to the extent that even unmarried (although engaged) girls keep these fasts.
ReplyDeleteBTW, i'm an indian male who has earned the displeasure of both sides of family for "allowing" his wife to not keep any of these fasts.
Hi Rashmi
ReplyDeletenice stuff..
take care
dr sankalp
I'd like to share AKS's and Vasanthi's views on this matter. Many festivals are just a way of expression. Otherwise 'Diwali' by any means releases the lion's share of pollutants which in no way is 'do-good-to-society' types. It's only about preservering what we believe, and for the same reason we tend to observe them in all austerity or tradition or by any other word in that place. It's an ocassion to celebrate. I still believe these things are not the index of portrayal of women as devoted to husbands or something.For that matter start of a male karwa chauth :p.
ReplyDeleteWow Rashmi !!
ReplyDeleteI am impressed. Neat little categories of people banged into neat little pigeon holes !! And after having done that, the dainty little manouever at the end, "to each her own".
Did you consider the possibility that it may be possible for a girl brought up in the Indian tradition to actually want to fast (not starve, theres a difference you know) on Karwa Chauth ?
hmmm that was an intresting point of view though I might not agree to it.
ReplyDeleteI consider myself 'feminist'. But I don't see how keeping a fast for a day for someone you love will be such a big deal. Yes I would like my husband to do it for me if he wants. I look at more just as reason to bond together.
There are more importants things that we as women need to worry about!
I would not want a woman who would go against a tradition just to be a cool modern feminist woman.
ReplyDeleteIf my future wife tells me she doesn't want to keep karva-chauth or wants to keep her last name or any number of these modern fads, all the while expecting me to be from the 1950's in regards to supporting her and providing for the family, she can find herself a "new age man" that has the same qualifications as me.
I trust I will not turn away many women. After all, I am not interested in a feminist. All I want is equal rights and equal responsibilities. I just want both of us to be happy.
Here I will slightly modify a quote to expose the sexism within it...
ReplyDeleteI think all this fuss about men working at a job is really foolish. It is ridiculous that men even today follow such biased traditions. Why isn't there any tradition of wives supporting their husbands by going out to work for long hours? Why is it that if a woman has a job she is 'so independent' and if a man does he is just normal?
Thank you.
This is exactly why the word "feminist" must be retired, forever. Look how how many of the comments are either sparked by it or return obstinately to it. Nobody ever understands the word, much less the concept. Using it tends to trivialise and/or overshadow whatever the main point or opinion you're expressing. Sorry, just my hobby horse :)
ReplyDeleteKadwa chauth and all other vrats or fast in India or abroad in hindu or other religions are generally based on pure science related to human health. Neither we try to decode the facts related to these vrats nor try to understand the value of vrats.
ReplyDeleteMost of us accept vrats as ritual and tradition; we observe them according to our belief and leave it without exploring the real facts behind it.
If you want to find out the truth you will have to experiment with vrats. One must have to keep fast with rational scientific temper.
Keep any fast according to your belief, follow the rituals according to your tradition and find out the results.
Without any observation and experiment any one can criticize other's belief and call it misbelieve or superstitions.
But when you do this practice of vrat with rational scientific temper it will change you completely.
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