No happy endings

So I've seen two movies over two weekends and they both have the same basic message: Bure ka phal bura hota hai.

Or, if you do bad stuff, you will ultimately meet a bad end.

'Shaitan' is a stylish film about five stylish friends with too much cash and too little purpose in life. Their descent into hell begins accidentally (drunk rich kids killing motorcyclist) but thereafter, they make some really bad choices. To cover up and 'get away' with the initial crime.

'Bhindi Bazaar' is a tale at the opposite economic end of the city, where young Tabrez is enticed into the world of crime by an aatthane ka ice-gola. Here too we see a group of 'friends' who eventually falls apart. Their story is likened to a game of chess, except in the end there *is* no winner.

Marne ke baad pata chalta hai ki Bhindi Bazar ho ya Malabar Hill - kya farak padta hai.

Unfortunately life itself is not so black and white. There seem to be a large number of people who seem to get away with assorted sins. While Tez and Fateh in Bhendi Bazaar were pickpocketing hapless commuters, our leaders continue to pickpocket the entire nation.

Sending a few individuals to jail - and denying them bail for a while - is not going to change that!

While Amu, KC and gang in 'Shaitan' stage their own kidnapping and become headline news, our leaders create their own daily drama to stay in the headlines. Some of them appear to spend more time hopping from channel to channel participating in schoolboy debates than doing their actual jobs...

And yet. I am sure these pocketmaars with Swiss bank accounts must be suffering. Do they have the health to enjoy their wealth? The peace of mind to enjoy a sunset? The genuine respect or admiration of the people who live and work with them?

I think not.

The world would be an ideal place if bad people met a bad end within 120 minutes, but lessons of life are far subtler and slower. And we aren't directing this film so we can't see the big picture, the connections within connections, and their consequences.

They say that if a butterfly flutters its wings at one end of the world, it can produce a hurricane at the other end. There *are* hurricanes all around us, inside us. Or cases of exploding mangoes (as in the classic black novel by Mohammed Hanif)

Only the timer mechanism is sometimes faulty.

Bhindi Bazaar mein paida hona kisi ke haath mein nahin hai, says the movie. But maybe it is. You reap what you sow, and a tree of hate, greed and violence offers no shade.

In future lifetimes.

Invitation to the launch of 'I have a dream'

dear Readers

You are cordially Invited for the Official Book Launch of ’I Have a Dream’

Date : 15 June
Time: 6:30 -8.30 pm
Location : Crossword Book Store – Kemps Corner, Mumbai.

Meet some of the Social Entrepreneurs from the book who will share their Inspiring Stories & also answer your questions. Present from the book will be:

Shaheen Mistri, Founder – Akanksha Teach & for India

Dhruv Lakra, Founder – Mirakle Couriers

Santosh Parulekar, Founder - Pipal Tree

Vineet Rai, Founder – Aavishkaar Social Venture Fund

I will also be signing books of course :)

Looking forward to seeing you there! And of course there will be events in other cities over the next six weeks. I'll keep you posted!

Crime and Punishment

The byline 'J Dey' always fascinated me. Who is this guy without a first name, as mysterious as the shadowy figures he writes about...

Most journalists, after all, want to be known.

Sadly, I now know that J stands for Jyotrimoy. And his photograph is on every front page. Jyotirmoy Dey was shot down, in broad daylight, on a busy thoroughfare in Mumbai city. Just like so many of the gangsters he has reported on over the years...

The life of a crime reporter is tough, it is thankless, and I am sure it does not pay very much. Yet, Jyotirmoy Dey devoted his life to it. And sadly paid with his life for it.

May his soul rest in peace.

It is certainly a very sad day for journalism and humanism.

Also read: J Dey: The Eagle Who Dared

Maid in India

In the year 2002, when my daughter was a toddler and life was a scheduling algorithm, I had this idea of starting a 'maid agency'.

An agency which would supply professionally trained, trustworthy domestic help - something I would gladly pay a premium for.

The inspiration was a visit to Singapore, where the maid economy seemed to flow so smoothly and efficiently (just like every aspect of life in that country!). But surely, there was *something* we could learn from them, and implement here.

I didn't actually get into it - because it was a great idea, but not the idea I wanted to devote my life to. Life somehow went on, I was lucky to have a wonderful girl work with for more than five years.

Then, Lata got married and I was back scouring maidland for clean, reliable and efficient domestic help. Once again I wished there was an agency I could call!

So this morning, when I woke up and glanced at Mint I said to myself, "Finally!" The cover story chronicled the quiet revolution in the 'home service staff industry'. Thanks to entrepreneurs like Shawn Runacres of Domesteq Service Solutions, a a Delhi based domestic staff placement and training agency.

Originally started to cater to expats, 60% of Domesteq's clients are now Indians. And in Gurgaon, where they've just started a branch it's 90%.

The report says a similar service is offered by Partners in Prosperity, a Delhi-based NGO. Catering to more middle class homes. Similarly, there is 'Care Service' in Bangalore. In Mumbai I am told an NGO run by Jesuits called Seva Niketan has a domestic employment bureau.

So far, so good but demand far exceeds supply. There are many agents, but all they do is serve as middlemen - connecting you with a potential worker. Very few are taking up the task of training and upgrading the women, thus increasing their earning capacity. And making life easier for working couples and young mothers.

But that apart, sometimes I wonder, what is it *we* can do to make things better. Why don't we pay our maids far more - for they are literally our lifelines.

Because we believe there is a 'rate' for everything and it isn't wise to disturb the status quo.

"Zyada sar par chada kar mat rakho" is the advice given by generations of mothers. Treat your maid kindly but firmly, never let her forget who is the boss.

But again, times are changing. I recall this beautiful article by Rama Bijapurkar on the subject of maids which hit bullseye:

On her 45th birthday, my friend decided to thank the important people in her life who had helped her with her home-and-career juggling act all these years; so she took her cook and her housekeeper for a multiplex movie and a good dinner. Working mothers know that when it comes to the crunch, it is the quality of your maid and not the quality of your presentation that determines your career success.

Rama also has quite a few practical suggestions on how to a 'maid to order'. With or without an agency, training, motivating and rewarding an employee is, after all, in our hands.

Hands that today, are free of dirty dishes. But who knows, what tomorrow holds...

The Author Brand

My third book 'I have a dream' hit stores all over India on the 8th of June. And I am told that as per A C Nielsen, the book was #2 even before its release, based on orders placed by the trade.

It is deeply humbling and amazingly feel-good that so many people out there are placing their trust in me. Rather, in the author 'brand'.

When retailers pre-book a title, or customers do so, it is with the belief that they will like what I write. Based on what I wrote before this.

This is not very different from the manner in which people buy other kinds of products. Like Colgate toothpaste or Kissan jam - tried it, liked it, now don't want to *think* every time about this purchase.

A brand is thus a mix of preference and force of habit. It makes the process of navigating a world with too many choices, a little bit easier.

But the 'Author Brand' is a slightly different animal. The tube of Colgate you buy from one month to the next will remain *exactly* the same (they change the packaging slightly, maybe once in a decade!). But every new book an author writes must be the same - yet different.

By this I mean there should be enough in the book to identify the author brand and yet it must not feel like 'Bah, I've read this before!'.

So how does one achieve that? Well, I have a simple formula - encapsulate your Author Brand in 3 words. What do you stand for?

If I look at Stay Hungry Stay Foolish I would use the words 'Inspiring', 'Real Life', 'MBA Entrepreneurs'.

So Connect the Dots was a natural extension - 'Inspiring', 'Real Life', 'Non MBA Entrepreneurs'.

And 'I Have a Dream' extends the brand as - 'Inspiring', 'Real Life', 'Social Entrepreneurs'.

The really important elements, to me, are the fact that the stories are inspiring and real life. The term 'entrepreneur' I define far more broadly than a Peter Drucker. To me, an entrepreneur is anyone who has charted out his or her own destiny.

Yes, setting up your own business is the most visible form of entrepreneurship. But you can be an entrepreneur in the social space, creative arts or even the spiritual arena.

I know there are hundreds of amazing stories out there, and these stories will come to me - as I need them.

Of course the 'Author Brand' is not so rational. As with music, where every singer is distinct and identifiable, the true strength of a writer lies in his or her 'Voice'. A certain style, a manner of expression.

My style of writing - from the very beginning - has been simple. I prefer small words to complex ones, small sentences to big ones. I often twist the rules of grammar (not because I do not know them) but because I want the words to flow as if they are being spoken.

And of course, I mix a bit of Hindi with the Queen's English. It doubles my vocabulary and makes what I write more accessible and relatable to the aam aadmi. (yes I know some of you strongly object to it but that is the way the words flow out!).

So why am I sharing these thoughts? To guide those of you who are embarking on this path - struggling to find your way. Wondering what will make your writing 'sell'.

I can only say that you have to be true to yourself, above all else. Don't worry about failure. Don't get carried away by success.

Those are not the reasons you want to become a writer in the first place.

You write, because you have to. Not for recognition or readership, but for your own selfish pleasure. When you write in that state of mind, your heartfelt passion and joyous energy and will spill into the pages.

And create happiness in the world.

P.S. 'I have a dream' is available in all stores and also online at Flipkart , Infibeam , Indiaplaza and Dial a Book.

You can also get regular updates on events around the book here: www.facebook.com/IHaveADreamBook

Crash course in curiosity

Think 'research' and what comes to mind is serious, bespectacled individuals - with or without labcoats - obsessed with matters tres importante. Certainly, they must possess PhDs and use long English words in long winding sentences. After all, they cogitate, while mere mortals only think.

Well, think again. This Saturday, I attended the annual exhibition cum graduation ceremony of the PUKAR Youth Fellowship Program and saw another kind of research. 'Barefoot' research.

On display were the projects taken up by a diverse set of youngsters - from Pen to Ghatkopar, Lalbaug to Bainganwadi. Each researching a topic close to its heart.

A young boy - no more than 16 or 17 - earnestly explains to me the problems faced by orphans in choosing a career path.



"Gorment ke jo hostel hain unme attharah saal ke baad nikaal dete hain… is liye ladkon ko chhota mota naukri lena padta hai, padhaai karke kya fayda ho sakta hai wo bhi samajhte nahin."

The best a boy from an orphanage can hope to do, he says, is join an ITI.

"Magar aap batao - khaali ITI se zindagi ban sakti hai kya? Kuch aur chance bhi to milna chahiye… "

But the boys have neither the knowledge, nor the financial capability to dream bigger dreams. To become doctors, CAs or engineers.

Indeed, it's a subject I have never paused to think about. Or read about in the media.

"Why did you choose this topic?" I asked the boy.

"Kyunki main bhi orphan hoon," he said, without hesitation. Just a little luckier than others. This boy is studying in class 12 and also working as an apprentice with Godrej. In fact his entire 'research group' consists of orphaned boys, and they have attacked the subject of their study with vim and vigor.

As have the boys of Bainganwadi, a slum colony in Govandi suffering from severe water problems. This group has put together a poignant photoessay capturing every aspect of the issue - from the hardships caused to men, women and children queueing up for water, to the hypocrisy of the local politicians and religious leaders supposedly 'fasting unto death' to secure water for the residents.

"Unke ghar mein to paani aata hai," they knowingly declare.

Two glass beakers are on display - one filled with grey water, one with yellow.



"The yellow water is what people take out of the ground, by digging a hole inside their kholi…"

The entire colony you see, is built on reclaimed land.

The grey water people buy - and use for bathing and washing. Two rupees a bag. Clear water - Bisleri water - is a most precious commodity.

"People spend almost Rs 60 a day just on water!" says one of the boys.

"Log subah uth kar sochte hain aaj kya karenge… yahan log subah uth kar yehi sochte hain ki paani aaj kahaan se aayega…"

And this is the situation inside Bombay city - not a drought-affected village in some distant taluka. Quite an eye-opener!

Another project which truly stood out was a group of girls from Santacruz (E) who decided to investigate an everyday matter: "Ladke naake par khade hooker chhed-chhad kyun karte hain?"

Why do boys congregate at street corners to ogle and whistle at girls? Results are here, for you to see.



An important conclusion of this research was that 'padhe likhe log bhi chhed chhad karte hain". ie educated men also indulge in this behavior. I don't know if this is a path-breaking finding but what is path-breaking is that girls are no silent victims.

"Jab aap un ladkon ke paas gaye aur aapne kaha ki hum aapse kuch sawaal poochhna chahte hain… to darr nahin laga?" I asked.

They laughed. "Nahin.. sab ne co operate kiya. Aur phir humne focus group discussion kiya na is liye sab ne khul kar aaraam se apne man ki baat keh di."

Of course, the girls' families were a little taken aback initially but now they are proud and happy.

I don't know if any of these projects follows the strict guidelines of 'research'. And the usable output at the end of the project is often unclear. But one thing is for sure, Pukar is an initiative with a difference, and one which makes a difference.

The most wonderful aspect is that it is not restricted to English-speaking elite, college-going youth. A majority of the projects were prepared in Marathi and Hindi, and the participants came from diverse backgrounds. Which is something we rarely see...

At the end of the day I don't know if Pukar projects can really be called 'research' but certainly it is citizen journalism at its best. Curious minds working - with passion and direction - to document the world around them.

The facts and findings are raw and relevant, and I hope they are used by journalists, by sociologists and by the administration - to do their jobs better. As well as inspire students everywhere to put their hearts and souls into any project they take up.

Not wake up the night before and frantically do google 'research'.

The Insider's Take on 'Alternate Careers'

Two weeks ago I was in Dehradun, addressing an auditorium full of 12th class students on 'alternate careers'. And I realized one very sad fact. Twenty years after I felt pressurized to take up the safe option of science over arts, economics over English literature - the same mindset prevails.

95% of the students - representing the so called 'middle class' of India - raised their hands to say they are pursuing a path laid down by parents. Engineering nahin to medicine nahin to MBA.

But don't we keep hearing - "Today kids have so many options!". While that is true, most students are not given the freedom or encouragement to go down different paths. Parents mean well and want their kids to be 'happy'. But they are woefully ignorant and see safety in sticking with the herd.

Students know, in their hearts, this is not what they want. But they don't have the courage to take a stand. And what do they take a stand on? They have no idea of where their passion lies.

Agar kuch idea hai to they are convinced it is 'very hard' to make it doing something you love. Rozi roti kamaane ke liye kuch to sacrifice karna padega!

Since all of middle class India is dreaming of one thing - acchhi degree leading to acchhi (assured) naukri - let us examine the premise. Let's say you do your BTech from a theek thaak college and make it to Infosys or TCS. You can expect a starting salary at age 22 of about Rs 3 lakhs.

Assuming you perform in the top 25% and hop a couple of jobs, you can expect to earn around Rs 1 lakh per month by age 30.

Is that such a big deal? I think not! My contention is that if you join any industry at age 21 or 22 and gain 8-9 years of experience - you would be earning that much. Assuming of course that you have some passion or flair for what you do.

The path taken may of course be slightly different. You may not get a 'brand name' employer right out of college and your starting salary may be much smaller. Your work output and skill will matter more than a 'degree' as such. But I can bet there are any number of you out there who are nodding your heads as you read this. Haan - yeh to sau pratishat sach hai.

Radio jockey, rocket scientist, helicopter pilot, pastry chef, hair stylist, film editor, insurance salesman, psychotherapist, college professor, veterinarian, entrepreneur.

Share your stories with me. The criteria is that you are earning Rs 1 lakh per month at age 30. Give or take a couple of years. And if you don't earn it in money terms you get it in perks or other material benefits. Not to mention the satisfaction of doing something you are really good at and love doing. And calling it 'work'.

Mail me at rashmi_b at yahoo.com with brief details of what you do and I will mail you a small questionnaire. I will share your stories on this blog and other mediums, to spread awareness among students.

I know the vast majority will continue to follow the easy path, the path of mediocrity. But if we can ignite a few lost souls out there, those few sparks are enough to create a bonfire of old ideas and prejudices.

Breaking this cycle of doing the done thing, even if we are dying in the doing of it. Every minute, every hour.

Down Red Brick Lane

There are many many institutes, but only a handful of institutions. Because an institution is built not just with bricks but with a collective mind, heart and soul.


IIM Ahmedabad is one such institution, which I am lucky to have been part of. As we celebrate our golden jubilee year, it's a time to look back in wonder. To remember and to reflect on the people, the purpose and the principles which made us 'who we are'.

Much can and has been written on this subject, but as they say, a picture can speak a thousand words. Or even ten thousand, when it is a book of pictures as lovingly selected and produced as this one.


I am talking about the IIM Ahmedabad coffee table book, a work of not just art but beauty, joy and eternal spirit.

From the early days of the institute, right to the present time, the book brings to life the campus and its somewhat crazy way of life. The freedom enjoyed by both faculty and students, the many rituals and traditions (such as 'dunking' and 'WAC runs').



I was particularly fascinated by the many rare black and white pictures, including the first convocation, construction of the now-famous red brick campus, and pictures of some of the legendary professors like V L Mote, in their younger days.


Another beautiful thing is that the pictures of campus life were sourced not just from institute archives but from the alumni scattered across India and the rest of the globe. I was surprised to see two pictures of myself - looking young, thin and starry-eyed - which I'd never seen before!

All I can say is, a lot of thought and effort has gone into the making of this book. A team consisting of Prof Rakesh Basant, Prof Monippally, Sunil Handa, Aditi Handa, and Pranay Gupta took a year to put it all together. But the end result is certainly worth the sweat!

The book itself carries the weight of history not-so-lightly. The 150 page volume weighs 1.6 kgs and is printed by Thomson Press on a wonderful, thick paper called 'Natural Evolution'.

In short, it's a book you would want to possess and treasure, whether you have been associated with IIMA as a student or participant, or as an observer and admirer.

You can order your copy online through www.shopnnetwork.com. The site also carries a
range of other wonderful products from the WIMWIAN (the Official IIMA Souvenir Shop on the campus) .

The IIMA Coffee Table book costs Rs 3000 (plus Rs 150 for courier and beautiful, sturdy packing!). It's a limited edition, so place your orders quickly!!

For any further queries email thewimwian@iimahd.ernet.in.

I Have a Dream!!!

Finally. This is the cover I chose for 'I Have a Dream' - it's designed by Rupinder Singh, a young graphic artist from Kolkata. Yes, it was one of the 70 odd entries I received in response to the 'Design my next cover' contest.

I knew it was the 'One' the moment I saw it.

A big thank you to all who participated. I really appreciate the time and effort, and the love you put into this. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful readers and wellwishers out there.

And I'm sorry this announcement took its own time. But that's the world of publishing for you :)

I am also happy to announce that I have a new publisher - Westland. I am sure they will help 'I Have a Dream' reach out to even more readers. Touching more lives, inspiring more young minds.

The format of 'I Have a Dream' is similar to 'Stay Hungry' and 'Connect the Dots', but the theme is social entrepreneurship. A brief synopsis:

'I Have A Dream' is the story of 20 idealists who think and act like entrepreneurs. They are committed to different causes, but they have one thing in common: a belief that principles of management can and must be used to achieve a greater common good.

These stories say one thing loud and clear change starts with one person, and that person could be someone next door. Someone like you.

'I Have a Dream' will be released in the first week of June. Meanwhile, you can pre-order it at Flipkart, Infibeam and Indiaplaza.

For exact release date, launch event and loads more updates do 'like' the 'I Have a Dream' FB fanpage (which will be populated today): www.facebook.com/IHaveADreamBook

Inner (Re) engineering

"Do you know what you want from life?"

When a question is posed by a man with orange robes and dancing eyes, the word 'no' tumbles out spontaneously.

"See, many people say I want this job or that house or this much money... but then what?"

Then what is the reason we are standing at the entrance of the Dhyanalinga temple at the Isha Yoga Ashram near Coimbatore. Swami Patanga is our 'guide'. And he must have repeated these very same words a hundred times before, but he is so involved and animated.

Because each time it is an honour and a privilege, to open the door to a new seeker.

I will not play back the words, or provide a textual tour. All I can say is the experience of the Dhyanalinga is different from any other.


At this 'temple' there are no rituals, no poojas. No jostling, no queues. Dhyanalinga is a space which you enter to be with yourself, to experience the joy of a quiet mind.

They say you don't need to 'know' how to meditate. You enter Dhyanalinga and it just happens. And that is absolutely true.

In the short time I spent at the ashram I visited Dhyanlinga four different times. The first time, during the naad-aradhana, which is held twice a day. At this time, the majestic dome reverberates with an offering of sound.

People say it is one of the most beautiful experiences they have ever had. But for me, the Dhyanalinga experienced in silence was the 'real' thing. This time, I first took a dip in the Theerthakund - a reservoir of 'sacred water'.



Theerthakund is a rectangular tank embedded 30 feet deep in the earth, you walk down giant granite steps to reach it. The water is cold enough to make you go Brrrr - it will invigorate you to the core. But it's more than a religious 'swimming pool'.

Theerthakund is 'energised' by a mercury lingam (known as Rasalinga). This lingam is said to have healing properties and 'opens' you, makes you more receptive to Dhyanalinga. And kuch to hai, you can feel it.

I have never been the 'religious' type but what I have understood in the last five years is this: the true purpose of visiting a temple or a guru is 'darshan'. Darshan is not merely to 'see' but to receive energy. Energy embedded in the deity, or in the living person.

The lingam form is the purest form of energy worship.

Dhyana, in Sanskrit, essentially means meditation, and Linga means, the form. The first form is a Linga and the final form before dissolution is also a Linga. A Linga or perfect ellipsoid can be energized in various ways, to serve different purposes. It is one form that when energized becomes a perennial storehouse of energy.

Hence in very simple terms Dhyanalinga is a recharge station. You plug in and your receive. You don't have to 'do' anything, just being there is enough.

A more eloquent explanation provided by Sadhguru himself in this video:



I know that all this may sound like mumbo-jumbo to some of you but you have to experience it for yourself. The third time I entered Dhyanalinga, I sat there for an hour, feeling a sense of complete calm and wellbeing. I was connected to some Higher Power, a loving energy, The Source.

I come back, feeling different. The very first day I woke up at 5 am, feeling fresh and ready to start the day. With Isha yoga practices which I found 'boring' just a week ago.

It feels like something deep and fundamental within me has shifted.

I share this very intense and private moment with all of you, because I know *some* of you are lost and looking for 'answers'. For one brief moment, put logic aside and open your mind.

To ideas which are as old as the world itself.

To know more more visit www.ishafoundation.org

Kuch na kaho

There are two kinds of people in the world - those who speak their mind, and those who mind what they speak.

Now I am not referring to the kind of speaking out we see on television, or at Jantar Mantar, a group discussion or even a school classroom. That kind of speech is about opinion, about response in a formal, public environment.

The speech I am talking about is the interaction between two people in a close, personal relationship. Could be father and son, husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend - you get the picture.

Each human being is unique and different, each has their own internal wiring - some of it genetic and some learned behavior. So there is no 'right' and 'wrong' here. But whether you speak, or don't speak - either way you are likely to have problems.

The person who speaks, generally does so out of anger. Something is bothering him or her, sochte hain chhodo rehne do, I will stay quiet. But the tension builds up inside and one day, it all bursts out like a volcano. A molten lava of words, thoughts and 'things I don't really mean but can't help saying' spill onto the tongue. Scorching the other party's mind and heart, sometimes irrevocably.

Things get even worse when the person you are speaking to is the 'silent' kind. Even as you are expressing your anger and just want some reassurance, or an apology or simply acknowledgement of your feelings, you find yourself speaking to a brick wall. Impenetrable and indifferent.

It makes you even more mad and well, you can imagine the vicious cycle this creates. A cycle that becomes a default pattern for interaction, and for frustration and despair.

Even a child will tell you that it's not nice to yell and shout and lose control. So, does that make the silent man or woman a saint? No, sir.

Human beings communicate many things with their silence. And also with their expressions. A person may not say anything, but contempt or indifference can clearly be felt by the way you look at someone, By choosing not to respond you are saying "I don't care what you say, what you feel - I have shut my mind, you can't affect me."

Another form of silent punishment is 'passive aggressive behavior'. Which means you fail to keep promises or fulfill responsibilities, yet don't actually refuse and hence keep the other person hanging.

It's that maddening deathzone between a 'no' and a 'yes'.

Suppose I ask you to go and buy some eggs and you don't really want to do it. Now instead of saying,"Can you go get the eggs today - I don't feel like getting out of my pajamas" you say you will go fetch, and then hang around doing nothing.

After 15 minutes I realise you are not going to move your butt. Depending on how stressed I get, we could see a minor, major or Mahabharat level argument break out.

Now the mature thing would be for me to keep cool and discuss this at another time. Explain that this is hurtful and unacceptable. But with trains to catch and deadlines to meet, maturity is about as common as an honest politician.

And so it goes, and so it goes… what is the solution you propose?

Expressing emotions in an unhealthy manner is mental pollution - it poisons the atmosphere. And creates rifts and chasms between hearts.

Not expressing your emotions is allowing them to eat you away inside. Cancer is said to be a manifestation of suppressed emotions.

I personally think the answer lies in working on yourself mentally - all the time. We are mostly in auto pilot mode, rushing from one 'thing to do' to the next.

Meditation, deep breathing, yoga, pranayam, reiki - these are some of the techniques one can use to calm the mind. The trick is to get into a routine and do it continuously. Every day. Just like you brush your teeth.

But all said and done it is bloody difficult! I have an ongoing personal struggle with anger management issues and I think I've made a bit of progress. But sometimes, a brain transplant seems like the only permanent solution.

If you have other - more practical ideas - please do share them!

Smoke, drink and be marry

I saw 'Tanu weds Manu' a couple of days ago. A fairly timepass tale of a Kanpur ki kudi and London ka laayak doctor.

Am sure whoever wanted to see the film in the theatre has done so by now, so I am going to freely spill all the beans. (Not that the title leaves any doubt about the eventual outcome of the phillum).

The crux of the issue is that Tanuja Trivedi (or Tanu) is a not-so-typical girl from Kanpur. She is a rebel, but one without a cause apart from 'ma-baap ki pasand ke ladke se shaadi nahin karoongi'.

Other signs of her non-Kanpur identity include smoking like a chimney, drinking like a fish, and swearing like a character in a Vishal Bharadwaj film.

There's also the unsuitable boy whose name Tanu has tattooed on her chest and wants to run away into kachori country with. More for 'bhaag kar shaadi karne ki thrill' than love, lust or any other motive fathomable to regular human beings.

My point is this: If Tanu really was such a rebel what was she doing sitting at home, waiting for boys to be paraded in front of her? If Tanu was really a kudi 'jo kisi ke baap se bhi nahin darti' she would not counting on a dose of sleeping pills to scare away potential suitors.

She would be making use of her Delhi University education to stay independently, far from home. Immune to parental plots. Able to say "I will marry... someday... and if I need your help to make it happen I'll let you know!"

Which is what Manu seems to be doing - ek to mummy peechhe padi hain aur doosra nerdboy has no lovelife to speak of. Although he is loath to admit it and justifies the ritual of 'seeing girls' by saying: "Shaadi bhi to ek kaam hai, kar hi lete hain."

Actually, it's lucky he fell in love with this sleepwalking chick at first sight. (bechara pehli baar halwa soongh kar hi fisal gaya!)

One interesting point is how Manu hardly cares about Tanu's 'character'. or lack of it, in the traditional sense. Unlike the ancient Indian predilection for innocent, virgin pina coladas.

So kahin na kahin kuch badal raha hai.

But will he be as flexible, accomodating and unlike-most-Indian-men after marriage, as he appears to be before? That is the million pound question, a gamble Tanu is taking.

So this is a movie and it has to follow its course but what of real life Tanus and Manus?

The bottomline is this: If you truly want to live your life on a non-traditional template you have to make tough choices. Big choices. Create your own identity.

Stand by your own values and convictions (even if they aren't shared by the world at large).

If you want something more, something different from life don't get trapped in the small stuff - like smoking, drinking, changing boyfriends.

Experimentation is good, but only to help you arrive at personal guiding principles.

An opportunity for professionals

Three years ago I wrote about The Four Fountains Spa, in my 'Young Entrepreneur Series'. Like all startups they had ambitious plans. Lekin kuch kar paaye ki nahin?

Well, it's nice to know from founding member Anurag Kedia that Four Fountains is indeed doing very well. From 2 spas back in 2008 (both in Pune), they've expanded to 11 spas across 6 cities (Mumbai, Pune, Goa, Manali, Bhopal & Aurangabad).

9 of these spas are operated by franchisees and Four Fountains is actively looking for partners to expand into existing and new markets. Here's the deal:

Partner with The Four Fountains Spa

Four Fountains - India's fastest growing spa chain - is looking for professionals who would like to be franchisees and run their own show! The USP of The Four Fountains Spa is to offer quality spa services at half the prices of other comparable spas.

Four Fountains has a unique business model with investment that is a fraction of other spas and yet offers great returns, as well as other benefits -

1. Professional management with its founders from IIM Ahmedabad and SP Jain
2. 360 degree marketing with a dedicated team to support
3. Dedicated training academy to ensure quality manpower
4. Comprehensive SOPs and audits for ensuring quality and service levels
5. HR policies for employee motivation and retention

The expansion plans are pan India with an immediate focus on Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore. If you or anyone you know would like to be a part of this amazing growth story, do get in touch.

Note: While all are welcome to apply, professional women in their 30s are likely to find this opportunity especially interesting post marriage/ child. It allows them to continue working, flexibility and good, steady returns.

Expected Investment - Around 45 lakhs
ROI - 40 to 50% / Year
Time Commitment - 8 hours/ day in the first year, 4 to 6 hours/ day after the first year
Locations - Mumbai & Bangalore (Immediate), rest of India (after 6 months)

Interested? Contact Anurag Kedia, Head of Franchising (anurag@thefourfountains.in, Mobile - 9967553215)

Happy Matchmaking!

Disclosure: I am a friend and wellwisher of Four Fountains, however, this is a 'paid' posting. I may put up such postings occassionally but only for people/ prodcts I like, and at my sole discretion :)

Kaam ki baat

The other day I ordered a Domino's pizza and the bill was Rs 484.

"Sorry ma'am I don't have change," said the delivery boy.

I was a bit annoyed. When the local kirana shop sends change, surely Domino's should be following a similar common-sense system.

"It's ok, you can keep the change," I told him. "But do tell your manager that we expect better from Domino's."

About fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was the same boy, with Rs 16 in hand.

"It's ok!" I said. "I told you to keep the change."

"No ma'am," said the boy."It's my duty."

He went on to relate how grateful he is to work at the pizza place, because all his pocket money comes from this job. While he does go to college, he has to work in order to support himself as well.

This boy may not have many of the advantages that other kids his age have. But I am sure, in the longer run, he will do very well for himself. Working at Domino's he is not just earning money, but inculcating values.

Which will stand him in good stead throughout his life.

But how many students in this country would be willing to work at a Domino's? You simply won't find kids from 'good families' in these jobs.

"Tumhe abhi naukri karne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai, focus on your studies' - is what the parents say.

And the kids happily nod and accept. (Whether they focus on studies is, of course, a different matter altogether).

Another common refrain from parents is:"Kaam karne ke liye to zindagi padi hai, abhi bachchon ko enjoy karne do."

And if kids do need to take up a job - just for the experience - let it be a desk job or office job. I mean imagine walking into McDonalds and seeing our Chunnus and Munnus standing behind the counter.

Log kya kahenge and all that jazz.

Personally, I think that all students would benefit immensely - personally and professionally - if they worked while they studied. But this applies particularly to those pursuing courses like bachelor's of management.

Imagine the experience you get working at a Cafe Coffee Day - from operations, to cash flow management to understanding customers.

But, again, do our BMS or BBA colleges encourage students to take up such work?

Rather, most students are looking for 'internship' with reputed organisations. Preferably, based in an office and not out there 'on the field'.

At forums I am often asked, "How can we make our youth more entrepreneurial?"

And I have to throw the ball back into the oldies court and say,"Stop making life so cushy!"

Loving your children does not mean making them lazy, giving them a sense of entitlement. Encourage them to work!

In the West, kids are told to even fund their own college education. Indian parents will faint at the thought. So, pay the fees, feed and clothe your kids. But must you fund their every whim and fancy beyond that?

Let them understand and savour the value of money.

Give them the pleasure of earning their next mobile phone.

Share with pride that your son or daughter is working at the mall. That you encouraged them to do it, and think every student should.

Work for the money, and also the sheer fun of it.

Work for the experience, to know ki duniya mein hota kya hai.

Because we grow up in a cocoon - a comfort zone - from which many of us never fully break out.

We grow, because it is a biological imperative. But we become moths, blindly attracted to the thoughts and ideas of others.

Start working for yourself - and on yourself. Discover your own power, and the beauty within.

Evolve into a butterfly.

My Space

There are n number of self-help books in the shops and most of them say pretty much the same thing.

Whether it's Napoleon Hill's 'Think and Grow Rich' or the more in-your-face 'The Secret', all authors make one simple point: your thoughts create your reality.

The first time you read such a book you either go "what rubbish" and never pick another one up. Or, you say "Wow - could this be true?" and then you want to go out and read more, learn more about how to achieve this miracle.

But after some time it's the same stuff, over and over.

You're better off just re-reading the books you have and practising how to *think* correctly and visualise your perfect reality (so you can manifest it!), than buying more such books.

Still, I do peek in at what's new in this market and yesterday happened to flip through Jack Canfield's 'Success Principles' at the local Crossword. It was like yada, yada, yada, but then I came across something completely new and so wonderfully useful.

Especially for a writer like me.

You know, one of the issues I have with myself is I am not as productive as I could be. I know I have the capability to write 3 books a year (but am actually doing only one!).

"I need more discipline" - I say to myself.

One morning I googled up 'how other writers do it'. Here's what I found:

1) Jeffrey Archer:

His writing routine starts at 6 am in the morning which continues for two hours. Jeffrey Archer takes a break for next two hours and then he writes for two hours more and the routine continues till the night. He believes writing is a very serious job and is definitely not easy.

Hmm. Maine aaj tak aise nahin kiya. Na main kar sakti hoon - who will send my daughter to school??

2) Nicholas Taleb:

My principal activity is daydreaming, so I may write mostly in my head. I have no routine, no work ethics. For years I had an upper limit of 50 minutes a day of actual writing so I would keep enjoying it. If I am bored, I stop right away, or I try to change the subject. You can easily fool yourself, not the reader: if you don't enjoy what you are writing about, the reader will somehow figure it out. So I may go for a long time without writing anything except a check.

Also, I need an aesthetic environment. I write in my 'literary library', the one that does not have technical books and technical papers - it is like a sacred space. I also like to write in cafes, away from business people. Writing is sacred, other activities are profane, and I don't want them to corrupt my writing.

Sounds more like me, or what I would *like* to say in a similar interview. Currently much of my writing is done on a study table with a teddy bear headboard, or my kitchen table. Interrupted by dhobis and pressure cooker whistles!

3) Agatha Christie:

Agatha didn't sit at a pristine desk neatly typing her novels, Chapter 1 followed by Chapter 2, and so on, before donning gloves and descending at 6 p.m. for a sherry...

Her less-than-refined writerly day began with finding her notebook, which surely she'd left right there. Then, having found a notebook (not the one she'd used yesterday), and staring in stunned amazement at the illegible chicken scratchings therein, she would finally settle down to jab at elusive characters and oil creaky plots.

Most astonishing, Curran discovers that for all her assured skewering of human character in a finished novel, sometimes when Christie started her books, even she didn't know who the murderer was. Ah! It makes sense—a brilliant mystery writer must first experience the mystery! Or does it?

Wow. This is most inspiring. And although *she* is a godess to me, and wrote fiction, I can completely relate to this 'not knowing' bit.

The truth is, I started writing this blog with one thing in mind and it's gone quite another way. It's like I am downloading thoughts and ideas from something or somewhere 'larger than myself'.

Merely an instrument who is typing on this keyboard, guided by a Higher Power. Who needs a space to enable 'transmission' to come through.

And that's where I come back to the original subject of this blog - Jack Canfield's 'Success Principles'. The idea I found so compelling was this:

Divide your time into three kinds of days - Best Results Days, Preparations Days, and Rest & Recreations Days.

'Best Result' Days are when you spend 80% of your time doing the work that you really love (and which gets results for you). It's what we know as the 80: 20 principle:

20% of our work is producing 80% of our results. If you can determine *what* that is, you can find some things you can cut out both in your professional and home life

In my case *that* is writing. Could be selling for a salesman, coding for a crack programmer or whatever.

To get a 'Best Result Day' therefore you choose to eliminate everything else. No answering emails, no tweeting, no doorbells, no television, no social obligations.

Now I have *experienced* this in the past - the odd wonderful day when I am really focussed and in flow and pleased with the amount and quality of writing I have done. But it's been more by accident than intention.

The idea that this can be done consciously - and as a matter of routine - is very empowering.

I have therefore decided to make every Wednesday my *Best Results Day*. The fun part of following such a routine is you don't feel *guilt* about not waking up at 6 am like Jeffrey Archer and banging away.

I think even he should try a new routine... coz his recent writing certainly can't be called 'best result' (gustaakhi maaf, I remain a loyalist and fan who bought his last book).

On other days I have Agatha Christie's messy and mad example to follow. Except with a different kind of 'notebook' :)

Will let you know how my little experiment doing - after 4 weeks! If any of you decide to try this out - or do it already - please do share your experience.

Mumbai Writer's Retreat: Feb 14-18

dear Budding Authors

I've enjoyed reading your manuscripts over the last 2 weeks and have sent you all my feedback.

I think some of you are very promising, others need to look deeper within to develop a voice that is true and unique. But in fact all of us, including published authors, do need to take time out and reflect, work on techniques and talents.

More than anything we need to remove our blocks and flow with our thoughts and feelings because that is what great writing is all about.

As I was going through your manuscripts, I received an email about a 'Writer's Retreat' in Mumbai. This retreat is conducted by Wendy Rohm, a bestselling author and literary agent. The goal?

Develop your book, fine tune your manuscript, and perfect your writing in progress. Writers of all levels attend to generate new material, develop ideas, or perfect works in progress.

The Mumbai Writer's Retreat is being held from Feb 14-18 and I thought it might be of interest to you. Hence sharing the details!

These workshops are also held in other locations such as Paris and Thailand. There is also an online course starting February especially for writers in Asia and India. Check that out if you are interested but for whatever reason can't be present physically.

Why am I recommending this course? Purely on good faith. I would like to attend at some point (but perhaps in Paris :)

I just think sometimes we need a support group - a helping hand, a friendly ear. A place where there are like-minded people and some gentle guidance and professional mentorship. None of which is easily available to writers.

Yes the course does not cheap but sometimes you have to *invest* in yourself and your dream.

To find out more and to register email Margaret at TheRohmAgency at cs.com with a cc to me (rashmi_b at yahoo.com). Give my name as a reference and you will get the special benefit of $100 credit toward a future 12-week online course. Or one of their conferences anywhere in the world, including the next Mumbai conference in 2012.

But do think about it and register only if you're serious and can spare the time. There's a pretty stiff cancellation policy!

Meanwhile, whether or not you attend this retreat, keep the faith, and keep writing!

Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. But if any of you register through me I will get a small referral fee. That's not my motivation for spreading the word, however. Ek writer hone ke naate doosre writers ka bhala chahti hoon.

I want all of you to get published coz the world needs more amazing authors and wonderful, readable books :)

Making a difference - I (Teach for India)

Kuch log kehte hain ki aajkal ke naujawan kisi ke liye kuch karna nahi chahte. Sirf apne mein mast hain.

Well, that is true and yet not entirely so. Because there *is* a small new breed of young people trying to make a difference. And a bunch of organisations enabling them to do so. Here are some which I think are doing wonderful things, and who knows, you may like to explore the doors that can be opened.

Let me start with Teach for India. This is a unique program where graduates and young professionals pledge 2 years of their lives to working as teachers in municipal schools. The idea is that these two years of 'giving back' and of understanding India from ground zero will make you socially senstitive.

You will go back to the mainstream - join the corporate world most likely. But, you will be inspired to be a true leader. It's a powerful idea and in the last 2 years the program has attracted some amazing talent.

As I realised, while speaking to Teach for India fellow Srini Swaminathan. Srini is a BITS Pilani graduate who worked with Schlumberger for 8 years. A job most would die for.

But, last year he decided it was time to stop thinking and start doing something. "I used to donate money online and all that but I wanted to do something more, to really make a difference," he says. The fact that he too comes from a low income background was a motivating factor, to give back something to kids out there who have nothing in life today.

Srini is now teaching second standard children at the municipal school in Dharavi Transit Camp. "We have a pucca school building," he says. "But not much else!" So Srini has to be creative. Everything from an empty cornflakes carton to used birthday hats, he says are welcome because they help stimulate thinking and creativity in class.

In June 2010 when Srini joined there was a comical situation where he spoke very little Hindi and the kids spoke very little English. Six months later, he says, he has picked up enough Hindi to get by. But more importantly, kids are speaking English.

"It used to be 90% Hindi, 10& English - now my kids speak 70% of the time in English."

These are just a couple of small indicators, you can read about Srini's experiences, in his own words, on his blog or Facebook page.

There are over 100 TFI fellows like Srini out there, doing similar transformational work. And mind you, getting transformed in the process as well.

If you would like to apply for Teach for India 2011 fellowships, today (Jan 23) is the last day for applications. In any case you may like to keep it in mind as something to try for next year.

Incidentally, TFI fellows are paid a stipend of Rs 15,000 per month, but as the Mastercard ad goes, it's an experience that's priceless.

Calling budding authors

A ton of you keep asking me the question: how do I become a bestselling author.

Well, the answer is, first you *write* a book.

Then you find a good publisher.

Then, you pray to God that the book sells :)

The trouble is that many of us only dream about writing a book, instead of actually penning down the chapters. Some of us need handholding, motivation and a danda on the head in terms of a deadline.

But let us assume you somehow do write a book. Or, at least a few chapters. How do you find a publisher? It is pretty tough for a first-timer.

You can go fill out proposal forms (available on most publisher websites). Then wait for an eternity and most likely never hear from them.

And in the odd chance that you do hear back, you will rarely, if ever, get a reason for the rejection. Constructive feedback ka toh chance hi nahin hai.

It is in this scenario that many new authors have gone the self-published route, some with a good amount of success. Examples include 'Immortals of Meluha' (originally published by Bahrisons), 'Oh Shit, Not Again' (published by Shree distributors) and my own books (published by Eklavya Foundation).

None of these a 'blue chip' publishers as such but they took a leap of faith - each for their own reasons - and it worked wonders.

And something today has triggered in me the thought. In my mind's eye, I see myself setting up a new kind of publishing house.

Open to all kinds of writing.

Fair to newcomers in terms of quick and honest feedback.

Transparent and pro-author when it comes to commercials.

And very willing to take 'risk'.

In fact I don't see it as a risk because 20 years as a writer and editor have given me what Malcolm Gladwell calls 'the power of thinking without thinking'. I will trust my gut more than my brain when it comes to deciding 'what will sell'.

So. I don't know *exactly* how I am going to go about this but let me take the very first step by inviting those of you who have a book (complete, or partial, or even 2 chapters), to send in your samples. Only on the basis of faith.

I promise to revert to you within 48 hours of receiving your word doc/ pdf with a specific feedback. Not that I can sign a publishing contract with you tomorrow, but I may be able to do so in the next 3 months.

And if that sounds like carrot enough, let's make halwa together.

Email - as always - rashmi_b at yahoo.com.

P.S. Do not send me anything in docx format! Also do send in 2 lines about yourself and your contact details. Plus a para or two summarising the book and who you think will want to read it :)

Taking the stairs

There are two ways to make your way up to the corner office with the brilliant view.

Those who get 'branded' by the right bschools usually get to take the elevator. The rest must scramble up the stairs. It might take longer and mean more effort, but they make it up there too.

But hardly anyone talks about *how* you go about it. I'm sure students graduating from lesser known bschools (or engineering colleges), could use a tip or two.

If you're a graduate from a tier 3 college and you think you've done well in life, share your story with me.

What were the skills, attitudes and principles which made you 'successful'? I'll send you Qs to make it easier to elaborate. Just drop me a line at rashmi_b at yahoo.com with a brief description of yourself!

P.S. Since many of you are asking here's how I classify colleges:
Tier 1: Nationally known colleges
Tier 2: State level colleges
Tier 3: Local colleges, little known even in their home state

As for 'doing well in life', it's completely subjective. I'm not looking for a specific designation or salary package. If you think you've done well for yourself, that's good enough for me :)

Happy New MBA

My cousin called to wish me 'Happy New Year'.

When I asked about her daughter, a first year student at a local bschool she added, "Koi ladka nazar mein ho to bataana."

Hey bhagwaan, aur koi bhi request I am game for. Yeh kaam mujhse nahin hoga.

"Won't she work a year or two before marriage?" I asked.

"Main to chahti hoon par uske papa ne mana kar diya hai."

This is not a stray case. Or an unusual one. The tier 3 bschools in tier 2 towns are full of such girls. Whether in management or in engineering, they are pursuing education for the sake of a 'degree'. Almost like an eligibility certificate to get a 'good match'.

The girl herself may wish to work. At least for some time. But she is resigned to the fact that it may not be possible. Before marriage, her father and brothers will decide if she can. After marriage, her husband and in-laws will decide the same.

So that effectively eliminates 48% of the population in these tier 3 bschools. Which unlike top schools, have a pretty even boy: girl ratio.

Bache bechaare ladke.

Now all their exposure to concepts of marketing, HR, finance and blah blah blah, is basically of no use. Because if, by pull-push-pleading-and-prayer, a few companies do drop by for placement, 90% will flunk the interview.

Because they are dumb, and I do not mean in terms of intelligence.

When I give talks at tier 3 schools, there is usually a pindrop silence at the end of the session. Perhaps they were sleeping through it all?

"No ma'am," a student explained later."People have many questions but they are afraid to ask."

Afraid?

"You speak such good English no, ma'am. They can't speak like that. So they stay quiet."

But all the students have passed the state entrance test and taken admission, isn't it?

"Yes but that is written only no, ma'am."

Well, your English seems pretty good...

"But I went to a convent school. ma'am. There aren't many students like me here."

So how do the students follow what is being taught in class?

"The teachers explain in local language, ma'am."

My head started reeling. MBA subjects being taught in Telugu or Gujarati or what have you. I don't have anything against these languages but then how in the world will this help students?

Without ability to communicate in the universal business language of English, they will never get decent jobs. It doesn't matter how many rules AICTE makes and how many speeches Kapil Sibal gives on excellence in education.

This is the golden jubilee year of IIM Ahmedabad and IIM Calcutta. A time to reflect on management education as a whole in India.

While IIMA and IIMC looked to Harvard and Sloan respectively for guidance and inspiration, Indian bschools look up to IIMs. What they have taken from these institutes is the external framework of 'MBA'.

The idea of an entrance exam, a list of subjects to be taught, the carrot of placements. And of course free (and mostly unfair) use of hyperbolic product promise such as 'world class', 'professional environment' and 'fantastic carrier start' (this is a real claim made by a real bschool in the national capital).

And in the midst of this circus - a comedy of aspiration, a tragedy of education - we have the AICTE. All India Council for Technical Education which has issued (another) set of ill-advised rules applicable to all PGDM courses.

These include gems such as:
1) All PGDM courses shall be of duration not less than 24 months. (Why? Even IIM PGDM is technically not for 24 months).

2) Model Curriculum/ syllabus will be issued by the Council.(Great - but what about upgrading quality of teaching and teachers?)

3) Admission to PGDM courses will be conducted by the respective State Governments through the Competent Authority designated for such purpose. (That still doesn't ensure students who get admitted have the minimum competence required to do MBA in a meaningful manner).

We can start solving the problem, only if we at least admit to its existence.

The first thing the bottom 3/4th of the bschool pyramid needs to do is junk the IIM model. Spend the first 3 months just improving language and communication skills.

Next, realistically prepare students land in the industry feet-first. Train for the kind of jobs they will be expected to do.

Not a single student from a tier-3 school will get a hard-core finance job, yet 90% claim that is where their interest lies. Fine. You can fulfil their aspirations, but in a direction different from what IIM students are taking.

Train your students to truly understand the stock market - let them find work with brokers. Brokers don't care much for which bschool you are from. Heck, they don't even care much for an MBA degree! As long as you produce results, or help the company to.

Most importantly, train your students to be good salesmen. Because there is always a demand for that breed of people, across industries. Sales is not a lowly job, it requires a high degree of skill and intelligence.

The best marketing companies - such as HUL - insist on management trainees working as salesmen for a good 12-18 months, before making them 'brand managers'. If managers must take the sales route, it follows that a good salesman can develop into a manager.

Yes, the truth is tier 3 graduates may get the designation of 'officer' or 'executive' or even 'manager' but the actual job content may not be managerial. Or, what we have understood to be the job of a manager, thanks to the MBA.

But guess what, majority of IIM graduates have the same problem. Yeh MBA ka syllabus hi kuch aisa hai. When you discuss a case, it's from the perspective of the CEO, not the trainee!

Wishing all MBAs, aspiring-to-be-MBAs and the rest of humanity a very happy new decade. May we all turn the spotlight inwards, and find the guru within.











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