Tuesday, April 22, 2008

They are like that only

In the late 90s Channel [V] a music channel coined the phrase 'We are like that only'. And it became a catchphrase for not just the channel, or the young people watching it but India itself.

The interesting thing was the end-piece. "Mind it!" That was the statement. Unapologetic, in your face. We know we're different and we're proud of it.

Ten years on, we have moved to the next level where we look at the foreign junta arriving to work and do business on our shores and shake our heads:"They are like that only." At the recent Cerebrate 'unconference' in Goa, this was certainly a recurring theme.

On day 1 over dinner there was an animated discussion on how Indian hotels have the best service in the world. "Europe is abysmal," was the general consensus. Besides, if you actually need 'help' don't count on it.

Kiruba's laptop was once stolen in Amsterdam and forget about doing anything. What rankled was they did not care. They played back the security camera video - which was duty, really - and that was that.

The second night over dinner there was an animated coversation about how politically correct Westerners are. Shriram Adukoorie, who runs Asklaila.com but spent many years at Microsoft shared how it is illegal to ask a job applicant any personal questions in the interview. ie Where do you live. How many kids do you have. How long does it take for you to commute.

Yada yada yada. Because you could be sued for discriminating against that person. If he lives far, how he will get to your office is his problem.

Hmmm. Sorry, we Indians don't buy that! A person is the sum of all his parts. In India, we would not consider some of these 'personal' Qs to be personal in the first place!

Sudhir went on to relate how a foreign client got 'lost' in the 5 minute walk from his hotel to their office. He was found trying to figure out how to cross the road (He was waiting for the traffic to stop! You know... politely and all that).

Looks like we in India are having the last laugh. After decades of facing questions like 'why do you have that red dot on your forehead' in their countries, we can now look at them struggling to eat a chapati with their hands and smile benignly,"Yeah, it will take you some time to learn that!"

And thus are born a new set of urban legends. Like this story I heard about a gora who went to a restaurant and after the meal was over, a bowl of warm water and lemon slice was placed before him. The chap had no clue he was supposed to use it to wash his oily-with-Indian-food hands. So he squeezed the lemon into the water, added some sugar and gulped it all down.

Now I am sure this story is probably untrue. I mean some helpful soul at the next table or the waiter would have alerted him but you know what - it does not matter. My daughter simply loves this story and tells it like a 'joke'.

Remember the old jokes where there was one American, one Russian and one Indian (mostly Sardarji) and you know who was the 'dumb' one. This kind of turns that joke on its head.

Of course I think in our heart of hearts we do envy the efficiency and 'ability to get things done' in Western and even south East Asian cultures. But we are seeing beauty in the chaos we live in.

The last day as we travelled back towards the airport in a bus there was a general consensus that a place like Singapore was too perfect, too neat and too convenient. No challenge, no excitement, no stimulation.

In Hindi we have a term for it called 'paasa palat gaya' or the tables have turned. Could you imagine ten years ago that we would see the problems and peculiarities of India as opportunities, instead of something to wail about?

And looking at some of the recent developments like the new airports at Bangalore and Hyderabad, or the spectacular Delhi metro, it looks like we willalso get things done.

In the longer run, how to retain our 'Indianness' minus the chaos is a question we should all be thinking about.

20 comments:

  1. some how the chaos we live in still primarily defines our Indianess, the swanky buildings, breat-taking malls still have an alien feel to them, we haven't accepted them as ours yet....but it's goona change !!!!!

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  2. Super post...seeing goras walk in and out of my office for sometime and having taught one of them "how-to-break-a-chapati-with-just-one-hand" a few days back..it's hit a chord with me instantly!

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  3. I find the drinking-from-the-hand-bowl story quite believable to be honest. :D

    Singapore is not too perfect, it is too strict. That's a rather different thing. Strictness stifles, perfection exhilarates (like Switzerland).

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  4. This is regarding your point on personal questions. I recall reading about the context heavy nature of Indian interactions. A very standard opening conversation in India would include questions on what you do, where do you live, how many brothers and sisters do you have and where do your parents live. It is like we build an opinion on a person through a complex set of reference points.

    The West is completely context independent and therefore a lot more individual.

    All differences in customs and philosophy and personal relations between the East and West arise from this core difference in how we measure people.

    And herein lies the "I went to IIT , then IIM, My brother is in Silicon valley, my dad was a Public sector bank executive and my mother's a housewife" reference set. All the reference points to indicate a perfectly viable bridegroom :)

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  5. Forget outsourcing!
    We are now buying Jaguar and letting them know how to drive it :)

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  6. Time's have definetely changed!!!!

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  7. That's EXACTLY how i felt when I came to the US.. a total lack of chaos.

    My American friend came to our home one day and was served aloo sabji and chappati. He ate it like a taco. :|. WHat a waste of that wonderful chappati, which could have been so delicately broken into small pieces and savoured with the spicy curry.

    Well, we are like that wonly. :D


    http://cluelessinamerika.wordpress.com

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  8. Brilliantly written!

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  9. nice one...tho i have seen indians struggle to eat chapati and chicken curry with a knife and fork :) i was sitting across them from the table at the time.

    Of course I think in our heart of hearts we do envy the efficiency and 'ability to get things done' in Western and even south East Asian cultures. But we are seeing beauty in the chaos we live in. loved this part

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  10. But we are seeing beauty in the chaos we live in.

    Ok. seriously. where do you see choas in? Road traffic or restaurant? Do you think all the points you wrote apply to most of the Indians? Especially with the amount of cultures that you find in India. India can be equated to Europe esp. with the varied cultures.

    Take for instance a north india visiting south india or vice versa, a person from village/town visiting a city or vice virsa, american visiting europe/france/russia... Won't they see chaos,politeness/rudeness,slow/fast culture? They do see that. So who's mistake is this? Former or later?

    I am not defending India chaos here. What I say is there are always differences between cultures. It is no ones fault. When someone is visiting a different culture, it's his duty to atleast be prepared to surprises he might face. Just bragging or complaining about things won't help.

    My colleague visited India from month back. And when we asked him his opinion on India, he said Indians are very helpful, bangalore's traffic is nightmare. Can you take this statement as measurement for anything? No. It just is his opinion on the group of people,circumstances he met with.

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  11. I disagree vehemently with this article, Rashmi (first time, i think!). I even wrote a blog post on this exact issue a while back.

    We are not close to being 'leaders' or becoming a better country. A huge part of the reason we are behind is because we do not follow rules (like the person waiting for the traffic light to change). Also, some countries really dislike India tourists, because unlike the individual who (even if it may be untrue) tried not to insult his hosts, and drank the hot water!, Indians rarely respect other countries' cultures. In fact, we rarely respect other Indians' cultures. It is a problem, that is easily fixed, but to fix it, we need to recognize it rather than bury it in a simple "hum aise hi hai" statement.

    On the other hand, our sense of caring, and hospitality is unmatched in the world, and that is something we should be emphasizing more.

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  12. It will be instructive if readers can go through this interesting article and comment.

    http://www.marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com/cim/articles_display.php?aid=516

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  13. Rashmi,

    I wanted to ask if you can conduct surveys in JAM to pose to your readers about their views/ideas on how to go about achieving a fine balance between Eastern/Western values. ( Having the cake and eating it too !!)

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  14. Good one....
    Indianness certainly does seem to be the flavour of the moment.
    And why shouldn't it be??
    After years of having our nose-hung-from-the-ceiling-for-no-apparent-reason uncles and aunties brag about their holy as thou offspring 'making it big' abroad, while all they actually did was write code in some airconditioned sweat-shop, or in some cases ,even assist in some lousyass Walmartish store,It's time we locals finally get our due!

    Cheers.

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  15. Its just adapting to the culture you are in and trying to fit in. thats it. I guess there are so many of us all over the world, its by force and not by chance!

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  16. You know Rashmi, the very first time I went to the US, it took me only a couple of days there to realise that what distinguishes it most from life in India is the complete and total adherence to order, rules and routine. It is stifling. Yes, rules make life a lot easier but they take it to extremes. They espouse individual freedom - but in many true ways, society stifles it and expects you to behave in conventional ways. Life is montonous and routine.

    Indian life is more exciting that way. But on the flip side, we need to get rid of this blatant disregard and penchant to break all kinds of rules. Social norms and taboos work best in India - not diktats of the penal code.

    And yes, Singapore is too artificial - nothing is natural or native, even the climate is the same all year round. With no real resource to boast of, they have managed to thrive.

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. a gora who went to a restaurant and after the meal was over, a bowl of warm water and lemon slice was placed before him. The chap had no clue he was supposed to use it to wash his oily-with-Indian-food hands. So he squeezed the lemon into the water, added some sugar and gulped it all down.

    perhaps, what fittingly backs your point is the fact that the same story was circulated in a different time and setting a few years ago. The protagonist in that story was a pot-bellied middle-aged Indian male and the setting a small town in 1980's India. :) Tables have turned indeed.

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  19. I have been lurking in your blog for a while ... and this post struck a chord in me. I belong to an older generation than you and remember my parents being thrilled when we threw a party for them at a 5 star - they did not expect such progress in India. Yes we have come a long way Baby, while remaining Indian

    http://phoenixrituritulalit.blog.co.in/

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  20. Anonymous7:49 AM

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