Boy and girl meet in chatroom
Boy and girl meet in real life
Girl claims boy raped her.
Possible.
But this story - extremely strange.
'Net friend raped me 6 times' is the Midday headline.
'A friendship developed over the Internet went terribly wrong for a computer engineering student Snehal Gandhi (20) (name changed), when the boy she had befriended, allegedly raped and assaulted her.
In her complaint Snehal alleged that she knew Shah, a student of Guru Govind Singh Polytechnic, Nashik, since December. She said they became friends and would often chat on Net.
One day, Shah called her home on the pretext of discussing a project they had to work on and allegedly raped her. He also threatened her with dire consequences if she narrated the incident to her parents.'
The next para is what stumps me:
'Snehal also said that Shah called her to Nashik around six times thereafter and raped her at numerous occasions and demanded money.'
Why would a girl who was raped once go all the way to Nashik 6 more times to get raped again?
The girl says, out of fear of her parents finding out about the relationship - which they eventually did, anyways.
But the story brings up an important dilemma facing young women: "Date rape".
Rape is bad enough but saying you were raped by your boyfriend compounds the problem. Because as far as Snehal's family was concerned she had no business having one in the first place.
In society's eyes, from a 'victim', she suddenly becomes a 'co-accused'.
Emotional blackmail
When Snehal uses the word 'rape' - I think she means 'I had sex but did not enjoy it'.
There are many Snehals out there who end up having sex with their boyfriends under emotional duress ("If you love me, you should have sex with me").
If it doesn't feel right - you have a right to say no. Love doesn't mean surrendering your self respect.
On the other hand, there are many girls who give out mixed signals. Part of them wants to, but part of them doesn't. And this can drive the boyfriend quite crazy.
Bottomline: Clearly communicating how you feel to each other is what's key!
I agree with your bottomline- however that's where the hitch is. "clear communication" is something we've not yet mastered as a human race.
ReplyDeleteYeah clear communication is pretty important. But more than that, I really question the whole idea of finding love on the internet. Friends maybe. But love? I know there are a million jeevansathi.com things all over the place and they're probably making great profits but seriously, how??? I don't understand it.
ReplyDeleteTechnology will always behave as a coin. There always two sides to it. Finding match /friends/love on net is not a bad idea,...We all look for a perfect match and internet just makes the search easier.
ReplyDeleteThe problem arises when people take decisions in haste. Net meets should be followed with physical meetings and proper investigation of person's whereabouts.
As in this case I feel the girl can be termed as co accused. She should have had the guts so say no. Women should be more determined to earn self respect.
Interesting...
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me, guys always have this urge to do it with his friend/GF.And there is nothing wrong in having this feeling. And there is nothing wrong in doing it also, ofcourse with mutual consent.
ReplyDeleteNow what I want to know is, can this guy alternatively blame this gal of raping him.why is it that the guy is always to blame?
~sjt
All those matrimonial sites are doing a kind service to the people who want their own partners tried & tested.
ReplyDeleteWhat a better way than to know a person without revealing everything about yourself? Moreover, it removes the face-to-face nervousness and uneasiness.
You can choose your partner - you like it, then go for him/her, if you dont, trash him/her.
Sujith, you said it!
~O
I think it has something to do with the fact that girl/boy friends are not ( or at least were not in my times) really encouraged.. as a result of this come 'good friends' people who are practically dating but refuse to acknowlegde that... and sooner or later one of them gets frustrated.. for the girl, the extreme maybe a rape...i really dont know how a guy might suffer...
ReplyDelete