Boy and girl meet in chatroom
Boy and girl meet in real life
Girl claims boy raped her.
Possible.
But this story - extremely strange.
'Net friend raped me 6 times' is the Midday headline.
'A friendship developed over the Internet went terribly wrong for a computer engineering student Snehal Gandhi (20) (name changed), when the boy she had befriended, allegedly raped and assaulted her.
In her complaint Snehal alleged that she knew Shah, a student of Guru Govind Singh Polytechnic, Nashik, since December. She said they became friends and would often chat on Net.
One day, Shah called her home on the pretext of discussing a project they had to work on and allegedly raped her. He also threatened her with dire consequences if she narrated the incident to her parents.'
The next para is what stumps me:
'Snehal also said that Shah called her to Nashik around six times thereafter and raped her at numerous occasions and demanded money.'
Why would a girl who was raped once go all the way to Nashik 6 more times to get raped again?
The girl says, out of fear of her parents finding out about the relationship - which they eventually did, anyways.
But the story brings up an important dilemma facing young women: "Date rape".
Rape is bad enough but saying you were raped by your boyfriend compounds the problem. Because as far as Snehal's family was concerned she had no business having one in the first place.
In society's eyes, from a 'victim', she suddenly becomes a 'co-accused'.
Emotional blackmail
When Snehal uses the word 'rape' - I think she means 'I had sex but did not enjoy it'.
There are many Snehals out there who end up having sex with their boyfriends under emotional duress ("If you love me, you should have sex with me").
If it doesn't feel right - you have a right to say no. Love doesn't mean surrendering your self respect.
On the other hand, there are many girls who give out mixed signals. Part of them wants to, but part of them doesn't. And this can drive the boyfriend quite crazy.
Bottomline: Clearly communicating how you feel to each other is what's key!
