Saturday, October 18, 2008

Wall Street wit

Things are looking very bleak on Wall Street right now. But humour is the silver lining of every dark cloud. These jokes are circulating in my iima egroup and I salute the out-of-work i-banker who's probably invented them even as his Porsche is getting repossessed!

Q: What is the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday night

Q: What is the one thing Wall St and the Olympics have in common?
A: Synchronised diving

Q: What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A: A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari

Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short-sell anything?
A: Quarter pounder with fries please

Q: How many commodities traders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they don't change bulbs; but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply

More contributions welcome! If they're funny, I'll feature them here. Forwards are also ok, but just don't claim you wrote 'em!

Here is another interesting dig at Lehman Bros, I noticed it in a post by Nikhil @ Medianama. It's the loading page of webchutney.com. The Lehman link leads to the careers@webchutney page.

Kaafi creative, wonder if any fired Lehman execs actually applied :)

23 comments:

  1. good ones.
    only a sense ofhumour can keep u byoyed up when marker looks bleak.
    5 shirts - eternal optimism:-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common? They both have frozen assets

    What's the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's

    Quote of the day (from a trader): "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."

    If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then turned in the cans for recycling, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is called the 401-Keg Plan.



    What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.


    I had a cheque returned earlier. "Insufficient Funds" Mine or the banks?

    ReplyDelete
  3. these jokes are the only hope ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. yuup! the only way to go on.. make air when no steam :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know why everybody is so gloomy abt the Wall Street crash. Look on the bright side. Tata Nano has got a new market - investment bankers. They can even have a Nano for Jaguar exchange offer. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Here's one I received;

    1st friend:You have invested so heavily in stocks, yet you say you sleep like a baby?

    2nd Friend:I sure do.I wake up every hour and cry...!!

    ReplyDelete
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