More Wall Street wit

A forward sent to me by Rahul Agarwal...

President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers… His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest are all subprime.

Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.

For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...

A trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."

What's the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.

What's the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures.

Lehman have changed their recommendation on Lehman from hold to sell.

Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it out, and if I sold another fifty shares, I'd have enough money to buy a 1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stablised.

Look forward to some inspired by Dalal Street !

Wall Street wit

Things are looking very bleak on Wall Street right now. But humour is the silver lining of every dark cloud. These jokes are circulating in my iima egroup and I salute the out-of-work i-banker who's probably invented them even as his Porsche is getting repossessed!

Q: What is the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday night

Q: What is the one thing Wall St and the Olympics have in common?
A: Synchronised diving

Q: What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A: A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari

Q: What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short-sell anything?
A: Quarter pounder with fries please

Q: How many commodities traders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they don't change bulbs; but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply

More contributions welcome! If they're funny, I'll feature them here. Forwards are also ok, but just don't claim you wrote 'em!

Here is another interesting dig at Lehman Bros, I noticed it in a post by Nikhil @ Medianama. It's the loading page of webchutney.com. The Lehman link leads to the careers@webchutney page.

Kaafi creative, wonder if any fired Lehman execs actually applied :)