Monday, October 22, 2007

Bhaag ke shaadi

Young couples eloping against their parents wishes used to be a standard storyline in Hindi films. Rich boy, poor girl/ Hindu-Muslim/ naukar-maalik wee some of the disparities which led parents to screech: "Nahin, yeh rishta hamein manzoor nahin hai."

Then came DDLJ, where Shahrukh Khan refused to elope with Kajol. No sir, I will get married only with papaji's blessings. And so began a new era where parents and kids turned over a new leaf. The kids decided it was better to 'win over' the oldies while the parents eventually realised, 'Agar hamare bachche khush hain, hum khush hain'.

Give and take became possible - and a happily ever after full family photo as well. The Ek Duuje ke Liye / QSQT genre of scripts died to make way for Saathiya where the young couple does elope but without any great fuss or drama following it. The prents are displeased but life goes on and the movie is more about how life isn't a bed of roses even after you marry the person of your dreams.

And then there was Pyaar ke Side Effects where there are some parental doubts and murmurs but the bigger villain is the groom himself who is afraid of making a commitment.

A tongue in cheek take is captured in a recent ad for Maruti Zen Estilo where a young couple elopes and is stopped by the girl's father (an army type). But he is so taken in by the car's features, he lets them go. It's kind of silly but at a deeper level rings true because hey, if the guy looks decent, drives this kind of car and makes my daughter happy, who am I to play spoilsport?

So all this sounds like wonderfully progressive stuff but at ground level, things aren't that cool and easy. The drama around Chiranjeevi's daughter eloping with her boyfriend last week is a case in point. TOI report:

On a day of dramatic developments, megastar Chiranjeevi's younger daughter 'went out for a walk' from their home in Jubilee Hills on Wednesday morning, but surfaced little later at an Arya Samaj mandir in Secunderabad and married her lover of four years.

The drama unfolded at around 10 am when Srija, dressed casually in jeans, went out of the house for a walk and on the way wanted to meet her aunt. She left in a frend's vehicle. An hour and half later, Srija surfaced at Arya Samaj mandir, New Bowenpally. Her lover Shirish Bharadwaj (21) was already there. The couple, both majors, exchanged garlands and took marriage vows as per Arya Samaj tradition at around 11.30 am in the presence of friends.

Soon after the marriage, the couple asked for help from police and the media as they feared for their lives. Speaking to the media, Srija alleged her family members forced her to discontinue the relationship from the time they came to know of it...

The couple said, she was in a state of 'house arrest' after she turned 18 on November 9 last. In a interview to a news channel recently, Bharadwaj reportedly alleged that Chiranjeevi and his fans were threatening him.

Sources said, Srija probably feared her love story would meet the same fate as her sister Sushmita's. Srija's elder sister was engaged to upcoming hero Uday Kiran, but a few months later the wedding was called off citing "incompatibilty" between the couple. However, the real reason was Uday Kiran was forced out of the relationship, they added.

Phew. Now there are two issues:
a) Chiranjeevi may feel 'my daughter is too young' to be able to decide who her life partner should be. Fair enough The solution would be to let the couple go out - have a relationship - and maybe it would end on its own. How many such affairs last more than a few weeks or months anyways?

But nahin, this is not the Indian way. We do not 'date'. We do not make out before we marry. And if we do, our parents certainly have no inkling...

b) Forget age, even if Srija was not 18 but 28, Chiranjeevi would not want her to find her own life partner. After all, that is the job of a parent. In fact, the most enjoyable and exciting job of an Indian parent. By making their own choices, kids are depriving their parents of their shining moment in the sun. Their 15 minutes of fame. The raison d'etre of their very existence.

Exaggeration, you think? Often enough, I think not. And more so with the rich and/or famous. As Sunil Sethi pondered in Business Standard : "Do the new-rich shed their liberal spots first and revert to neo-conservatism?"

To which I would say, who said they shed those spots in the first place?

The irony of the Chiranjeevi case is that his recent film 'Shankardada Zindabad' is a remake of 'Lage raho Munnabhai' which promotes Gandhigiri, inter caste marriage et al.. Magar apne ghar mein scene ekdum opposite hai.

Equations have changed, of course. 'Inter caste marriage' is the issue but Srija is from a lower caste than the boy (who is a Brahmin).

Even that might be seen as progress... In 'OBC reservation' India.

Update: It seems that Chiranjeevi has finally forgiven and blessed the couple. Certainly a better ending than the Priyanka Todi - Rizwanur Rehman love story, or this gruesome case of a mother killing her daughter for marrying against her wishes.

Spy vs Spy; Parent vs Child
And oh, this is really... funny. But a new trend, for sure.

DNA reports: As Hyderabad woke up to the news of Srija’s wedding, movie tycoons as well as real estate and corporate groups virtually clamped the shutters on the freedom of their kith and kin.

Parents are apparently hiring private detectives to keep a 24 X 7 watch on their kids, look into the background of their friends and provide surveillance of eating and watering holes. Armed escorts to teens and even house arrests are being talked of!

While in Ahmedabad: Parents in Gujarat are hiring private detectives to spy on their teenage children during Navratri when late-night dance celebrations attract tens of thousands of youngsters.

"It is strange to pay someone to keep a night watch on my daughters but it is better than regretting later," said S. Doshi, a 42-year-old mother of two girls, aged 17 and 19.

Ah, brave new worlds for spies to conquer... James Bond on an exciting new assignment: "I'll have a sandwich dhokla and mango lassi - shaken, not stirred!"

Also read my earlier take on the subject: Pyaar ke asli dushman


  1. i dnt know where the media is heading towards..!! home page news on chiranjeevi on todayz make me feel sick..!! are we not left with some genuine news rather than peeping into whats happenin into someone's personal life and his family and making their family problem a front page news to read on..!!

  2. It is really pathetic that in spite of the ads and the movies, the reality is actually very different.
    Being rich or educated(in most cases) does not in any way alter the social mores.When it comes to marriage most youngsters don't really have much of a say.

  3. Pyaar ke asli dushman: Congestion!

    Only in picchars can you have ppl running around trees and doing romanchakari, the reality of canoodling in India is much sadder, there's no room for it!

    Last time I was in Mumbai, I saw about a THOUSAND couples sitting on their 100 cc bikes, backs facing the road, with the romantic smells of septic marshlands on one side, and polluting smoke on another. They were literally jostling for elbow space!

    Like herd animals, these lovers turn their backs on society, retreating to sodden corners oblivious of piss stained corners caked with sunburnt feces reeking of DEATH, DISAPPOINTMENT AND FAILURE.

    And they have to deal with the humiliation of cops doing morality policing on top of that.

    Oh the shame!

    Where are these couples going to run? There is nowhere to go. This is India boss. A young couple can't move out, live on their own, not without the support of their clan.

    Unless they have strong educations and jobs that can help them stand on their own feet. Which puts the success rate at .5%.

  4. Rashmi,

    It is a sad state of affairs but you need to get your facts right in Chiranjeevi's case.

    The elder one liked Uday Kiran and it was in fact Chiranjeevi who arranged for the betrothal and announced it in the media.

    It was cancelled upon understanding that Uday Kiran was previously involved in relationships that he did not quite say goodbye to.

    Also, in the second one's case, the actor dad came to know about a criminal case registered on the prospective son-in-law in 2002 (confirmed by his very own parents) , which involved running away with a juvenile at the age of 17. Clearly, the boy is not your run-of-the-mill lover just trying to find some room in a crowded society.

    you have two daughters. Given this, would you, in your right mind, let the second one pursue an ex-convict knowing the first one had a bitter experience pursuing the man of her choice?

    Oh no! that would be too personal :)..j/k

    But I guess, you made some valid points about the sad state of affairs when it comes to dating - Desi communities in India or America irrespective.

  5. It is really sad that

    a) Indian youth does not have the liberty to choose their life partners.

    b) In the name of love and such, and also thanks to influence of films, they end up marrying at such young ages. Absence of maturity could result in children in 1-2 years time. this is bad for them and the country as well.

    DDLJ was a classic film. No doubt :)



  6. My friend who works for a NGO, has prepared a report on clandestine abortions post-navratri. The reports clearly mentions that the abortion rates shoot upto 90% post-navratri. Given the staggering figures, I am sure more and more parents are lining up to hire detectives to keep a eye on their daughters.

    On a lighter note, I am sure some shrewd marketing mangers of detective agencies would come up with "special navratri rates".

  7. I feel that nowadays Bhaagna... in strict sense is passing and sahll go off soon. What i have seen at my personal level (my friends, relatives and neighbors) that the couple generally arrange their love for marriage. It take time may be a year or two but it happens. You can always listen in the neighborhood talks that "unki toh love marriage hai" and the comments like " uski ladki to X ke saath bhaag gayi" are perishing.

    One more thing that i have observed that if the girl shows some strength, the couple is through.

  8. interesting to read all the comments, but the fact is, its really appalling to see the news on the front page of TOI...come guys give us a break..there are many issues in the society which needs some kinda attention/addressing...

    But anyways, as the post very correctly says, leave the couple alone, and if not now, but in some yrs or may be months down the line they will realise that the grass always looks greener on the other side.

  9. had the issue got so much importance had it been some common man and not THE chiru? the media really needs to highlight issues of broader appeal and not somebody's family problems.

  10. lovly post and equally good comments...but my concern is more towards the detective hiring part of the story.
    hiring a detective for ones own children just goes to show the degree of distrust n lack of communication between parents n children.
    i think that to a great extent, parents are to blame themselves for such situations in their life.had they been a little more communicative with their offsprings n respected their freedom;obviously with intelligently acknowledging them with the crooked ways of life,it would have been a lot more easier.
    but i do realize,that with such a fast pace of life as is ours,we dont have time even for our intimate kin.
    may be the solution lies somewhere in spending more time together with our families.

  11. Hey this was not at all a gossip column!!! Leave them to their lives. Why should everybody focus limelight onto their private lives.

  12. In the name of freedom and liberty younger generation is doing a crap. These folks don't know anything about love, but if some one gave genuine suggestion they'd say that people are moral policing. I personally believe that media is cultivating pseudo liberty thinking in the minds of younger generations which are always vulnerable.

  13. Rashmi,

    There are more important social issues which can be highlighted and discussed trough Blogs. U never know, this might bring peoples (not "people" because your blog read globally)to work for a common cause. This eloping thing is common everywhere in the world. Only difference is that in West its a common practise whereas in India, its a sin. So lets think beyond this and act accordingly rather than using the resources (read misss-using!!!) just for gossips and attract loads of comments and getting happier by the fact that number of hits of to your blog increasing day by day...!!

    Well, if you are really up to some social cause, than can get in touch with me anytime through email.


  14. well..i agree with you in the chiranjeevi case...
    though it was much of a hype.....
    but isn't she tooo young to decide her life partner...common at 18 and marriage!!!
    and now even all the parents would be a bit cautious...
    and yeah..what he does in movies its the opposite in his life....

    and it's a honor to meet u..
    i just simply love ur magazine...JAM rocks!!!

  15. Great blog..

    Honesti (
    Lets you contact any matrimonial/dating profile on any website for FREE

  16. 明星代言 明星经纪公司
    制动单元 铝壳电阻
    modern abstract art sofa manufacturer
    净水器 开水器 净水机 净水 软水机 软水 直饮机 家用净水 家用净水器 家用净水机 中央净水 中央净水器 水家装 水家电 水卫士 混合机
    过滤机 DHL快递 俄罗斯签证 回转支承 Laser marking
    保险箱 法兰 法兰标准
    polycarbonate sheet 回流焊 波峰焊
    压球机 注册上海公司 儿童摄影
    牛皮癣 皮肤病 制氮机
    食堂售餐机 校园一卡通
    学校一卡通 ic卡售饭机
    食堂售饭机 深圳一卡通
    广东售饭机 机电设备安装
    北京发票 代开发票
    餐饮发票 住宿发票
    网络电话 免费网络电话
    假发 补发
    织发 植发
    压滤机 板框压滤机
    蒸馏水机 纯蒸气发生器
    上海搬家公司 上海搬场公司
    大众搬家 大众搬场
    张家界旅游 香港旅游
    深圳旅行社 打包机
    收缩机 对讲机 电源模块
    售饭机 水控机 水控器
    萎缩性胃炎 neoprene laptop bags
    SEO优化 计量泵
    胃炎 胃病
    冷水机 冰水机
    北京特价机票 北京打折计票 北京国际机票
    北京机票预定 北京飞机票
    北京订机票 北京机票查询 饮料机械
    银杏 水培花卉 企业宣传片 空分设备
    化工泵 离心机
    电话交换机 程控交换机 集团电话 集装袋
    混合机 混合机
    混合机捏合机 捏合机
    捏合机导热油炉 导热油炉
    导热油炉 反应釜 反应釜
    反应釜 spherical roller bearing
    搬运车 搬运车 电动搬运车 油桶搬运车 堆高车 电动堆高车 半电动堆高车 堆垛车
    高空作业平台车 电动叉车 平衡重叉车 前移叉车 电瓶叉车
    韩国饰品批发 模块电源
    X架 超薄灯箱> 易拉宝 展柜制作
    代理服务器 游戏加速器 网络加速器
    网通加速器 电信加速器 电信网通转换器
    电信网通加速器 网通电信互转
    网通电信互通 网络游戏加速器
    美国VPN代理 美国独享VPN 美国独享IP
    pvc ceiling panel Spherical roller bearings
    安全鞋 劳保鞋 防砸鞋 电绝缘鞋 上海安全鞋 上海劳保鞋 江苏劳保鞋
    服装软件 服装管理软件 进销存软件
    进销存管理软件 服装管理系统 服装进销存软件
    进销存系统 进销存管理系统 免费进销存软件
    吉林中医 东北特产
    阳痿 阴茎短小 阴茎增大
    早泄 前列腺炎 阴茎增粗 阴茎延长
    国际机票 上海国际机票
    国际特价机票 国际打折机票
    砂磨机 砂磨机
    砂磨机 卧式砂磨机
    卧式砂磨机 卧式砂磨机
    三辊研磨机 三辊研磨机
    三辊研磨机 混合机 混合机
    混合机 锥形混合机 锥形混合机 锥形混合机 行星动力混合机 行星动力混合机 行星动力混合机 无重力混合机 无重力混合机 无重力混合机
    干粉砂浆设备 干粉砂浆设备
    干粉砂浆设备 捏合机 捏合机 捏合机 导热油炉 导热油炉 导热油炉 反应釜 反应釜 反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜
    乳化机 涂料设备 干混砂浆设备 无重力混合机 胶体磨 涂料成套设备 双螺旋混合机
    北京婚庆 北京婚庆公司
    办证 呼吸机 制氧机
    亚都 亚都加湿器 亚都净化器
    饰品批发 小饰品批发 韩国饰品 韩国饰品批发 premature ejaculation penis enlargement
    安利产品 马来西亚留学
    网站优化 网站推广
    论文代写 代写论文
    拖链 防护罩 排屑机 塑料拖链 钢铝拖链
    深圳装饰 深圳装饰公司 深圳装修公司
    特价机票 打折机票 国际机票
    新风换气机 换气机 立式新风换气机 风机箱 新风系统 能量回收机
    搅拌机 混合机 乳化机
    毛刷 毛刷辊 工业毛刷 刷子 钢丝刷
    涂层测厚仪 硬度计
    兆欧表 激光测距仪
    测振仪 转速表
    温湿度计 风速仪
    噪音计 红外测温仪
    硬度计 万用表
    美容院 美容加盟
    澳洲留学 澳大利亚留学
    酒店预定 北京酒店预定 北京酒店
    nail equipment nail products nail product nail uv lamp nail uv lamp nail uv lamps uv nail lamp nail brush
    nail file nail tool nail tip nail gel curing uv lamps lights
    万用表 风速仪
    红外测温仪 噪音计
    苗木价格 苗木信息 标牌制作 深圳标牌 北京儿童摄影 防静电鞋 淘宝刷信誉
    威海凤凰湖 威海海景房 大庆密封件
    打标机 淘宝刷信誉 TESOL/TEFL国际英语教师证书 英语教师进修及培训 北京快递公司 北京国际快递

  17. 及时快捷为人类的交流创造更宽松的环境。跨世纪的服务历程,已为多家企业提供过翻译帮助,翻译公司译佰翻译公司能提供同传深圳德语翻译深圳俄语翻译深圳韩语翻译等数种同传语言,培养一批商务口译积累了丰富的经验,我们期待能为更多的企业服务。、上海翻译公司,东莞翻译公司质美价优、是我们的服务宗旨。同声传译让每一位客户满意是我们服务的标准。

    套国际会议同传服务,深圳翻译公司,专业深圳英语翻译 深圳日语翻译深圳法语翻译

  18. 及时快捷为人类的交流创造更宽松的环境。跨世纪的服务历程,已为多家企业提供过翻译帮助,翻译公司译佰翻译公司能提供同传深圳德语翻译深圳俄语翻译深圳韩语翻译等数种同传语言,培养一批商务口译积累了丰富的经验,我们期待能为更多的企业服务。、上海翻译公司,东莞翻译公司质美价优、是我们的服务宗旨。同声传译让每一位客户满意是我们服务的标准。

    套国际会议同传服务,深圳翻译公司,专业深圳英语翻译 深圳日语翻译深圳法语翻译

  19. 导热油炉吴桥县导热油炉锅有限责任公司是全国最大的生产导热油炉生产基地之一,公司主要生产各种导热油炉锅,熔盐炉, 转盘轴承,管式加热炉,蒸汽发生器,一二类压力容器.徐州回转支承 公司提供转盘轴承 --slewing ring slewing bearing slewing bearings服务. automation-industrial-industrial automation-slewing bearingslewing bearings

  20. ^^ nice blog!! ^@^

    徵信, 徵信網, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 感情挽回, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 挽回感情, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信, 捉姦, 徵信公司, 通姦, 通姦罪, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 捉姦, 監聽, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 外遇問題, 徵信, 捉姦, 女人徵信, 女子徵信, 外遇問題, 女子徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 徵信公司, 徵信網, 外遇蒐證, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 感情挽回, 挽回感情, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 外遇沖開, 抓姦, 女子徵信, 外遇蒐證, 外遇, 通姦, 通姦罪, 贍養費, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信公司, 女人徵信, 外遇

    徵信, 徵信網, 徵信社, 徵信網, 外遇, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信, 女人徵信, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信,

    徵信, 徵信社,徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 離婚, 外遇,離婚,

    徵信, 外遇, 離婚, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信社, 征信, 征信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 征信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信,

  21. 活得真累,有些时候我们会禁不住的这样感叹,那些不顺心的日子,我们也总感觉活 wow gold 得真烦。在寻找了千百种理由之后,当我蓦然回首曾经走过的那些岁月,我惊然的发现,其实生活赐予我的,并没 wow power leveling 有与别人有什么的不同,呈现在我视野里的生活,每个人其实都一样,不同的仅仅是我们的胸襟中缺少一份“坦然”。   当看见那些假日的钓鱼者,一大早的出门,在夕阳下却拎着空空的鱼篓回家时,一路上却留下欢声笑语。

      当看见那些早出晚归的农民,在晚霞的辉映下回家时,那张写满疲倦的脸上 wow gold 却洋溢着朝霞一样的笑容。


      突然想起来这样的一句话“天空留不下我的痕迹,但我已飞过”其 wow power leveling 实,这不就是对坦然最好的诠释。


      我坦然,于是我心美丽!我心 replica rolex 美丽,于是人生跟着美丽。


      坦然,其实就是平淡中的一份自信!坦然 wow power level 是一份快乐!是一种潇洒!


      生活里许多的人,我们是捉摸不定的,甚至 power leveling 防不胜防。但,我们不必去计较,更不必去埋怨,我们唯一做的是,当我们必须去面对他们的时候,同样的奉上我们的真心。以君子之心度小人之怀,那不正显示我们的博大的胸襟吗?

      我曾经爱过也哭过,曾经功成名就过,也 rolex replica 曾失败没落过。但,当我回首这一切的时候,我仍然感到骄傲,因为:我曾勇敢地面对了这一切,且光明而磊落!

      假如生活给我们的只是一次又 lotro gold 一次的挫折,一次又一次的失败,其实,这也没什么的,因为那只是命运剥夺了我们活的高贵的权利,但并没有夺走我们活的快乐和自由的权利。

      没有蓝天的蔚蓝,我们 rolex 可以有白云的飘逸。


      没有草原的芬芳,我们可以 power leveling 有小草的青翠。


      坦然,会让我们的生 rs gold 活美丽而快乐!


Disqus for Youth Curry - Insight on Indian Youth