Mere paas Lexus hai, bangla hai, dollar hai... tumhare paas kya hai?
Mere paas? Mere paas baal hai.
That, in a nutshell, is the reason call-centre worker Shyam manages to win back his lady love Priyanka in the Book That Must Not Be Called Literature . But which every-under-25 is going to read anyways.
Chetan Bhagat's "One Night at the Call Centre" is a book that I would classify as 'flick-lit'. Why?
Well, often a movie gets just 3 stars out of 5 but junta goes to see it because it's 'good timepass'. The same applies to this book. It has its flaws but in the end the reader gets his 95 bucks worth.
And, it's 'flick-lit' because I bet it's going to be made into a movie some day. Just like Five Point Someone. Note in particular the climactic scene where hero-on-motorbike chases the Qualis with Priyanka in it and proposes to her at a red signal.
Sigh! It's like Chetan envisioned the Bollywood screenplay even as he typed out those paras in MS Word.
Warning: spoilers ahead for those who have not read the book.
But let's get back to the hair - and how it won Shyam the woman of his dreams. Priyanka, bowing to her mum's wishes gets engaged to one Ganesh Gupta - engineer at Microsoft, owner of Lexus and of Amaarikan style bungalow with in-house swimming pool.
Fortunately, Shyam locates some pics of Ganesh on the internet which show his emerging bald patch. You see, in the original pics shown by the ladkewallahs, this fact had been cleverly hidden by a 'touch up'.
Priyanka doesn't like the fact that Ganesh has been deceptive and decides this isn't the guy for her. Which is fine, people break off engagements for even more trivial reasons.
The babe's not happy about being under pressure to tie the knot with a total stranger in less than a month. If you ask me she's practically looking for an excuse to get out. And there are residual feelings for ex-boyfriend Shyam anyways.
But my question is this: What if Ganesh had been a little more studly?
What if he had a wonderful, full head of hair? (Think 'Monsoon Wedding' and Parvin Dabas). Would Priyanka still have ditched the NRI groom for the 'man she loved'?
Chetan said in an interview that he really agonised about whom Priyanka should choose in the end. He asked around and most girls said they would go for love over money/ comfort/ status/ meri-mummy-ki-choice.
This is what Bollywood believes too but honestly, I could never understand how Kajol could prefer Prabhu Deva to Arvind Swamy in 'Sapnay'.
I think women are romantic creatures - but on the other hand, practical too. There are enough instances in real life where they make rational decisions about whom-to-marry.
It's not impossible to fall out of love with the idea of love and fall in love with a 'suitable boy'. For every Priyanka, there is a Manasi...
Mansi has a fascination for grooms from IIT. Her current boyfriend, a graduate from IIT now earns more than Rs 5 lakhs per year. She recently met another eligible bachelor, also an alumnae from IIT who claims to earn more than Rs 12 lakhs per year. Mansi who is apparently very serious about her boyfriend says, "Had the guy who earned Rs 12 lakhs shown interest in me, I would have ditched my boyfriend."
But of course, this is a book. And like I said, it's written to be made into a movie. And books and movies need 'happy endings'.
So Shyam gets Priyanka - and Ganesh should go get a hair transplant. And maybe, in a further quest for coolness, start working at Google!