Thursday, September 08, 2005

.'More than friends'

Salaam Namaste gets released tomorrow. When I first heard the title I thought it might be a Hindu boy-Muslim girl kind of story in a modern context (although Preity's clothes were a little too tiny for that!). Then, the buzz was it's about a 'live in' relationship.

And now we know for sure - they do live in, but only as roommates.

They live together, but as friends, in different rooms. They're in a relationship… but then again they're not.

It is a Yash raj film after all - even if it is shot in Australia! But of course, it's very hip, New Age and all that:

He's a Chef; she's a Radio Jockey. They're young, they're cool, they're independent –and together they make the BEST pair! Or do they?

My point is - of course they are going to realise it's true love at the end of it all. So the fun lies only in the meandering journey towards that end. Unfortunately, in real life it's far more complex

Dost dost na raha...
One of the biggest dilemmas in life is realising that someone who is a friend, is also 'more than a friend'. It usually happens quite sneakily and unexpectedly and there - life is never quite the same again.

Now if this happens when you and 'more than a friend' are both single, it's bad enough. But if either one of you - or both - is actually committed to someone else (at least in theory, if not practice) you find yourself in a heart rending hieroglyphic.

The thing is, love - or lust/ attraction/ gosh-I-want-to-know-that-person-intimately can happen to anyone, at any age. Not just at a convenient 23 - 26(for girls) and 25-30 (for boys) as all Indian parents would wish.

At which time they can offer their blessings along with gold sets and Kala Niketan sarees which they know you aren't going to wear anytime in the next decade.

Dil vil pyaar vyaar
Last night I saw a re-run of 'Love Actually'; a cheesy film on the whole but one with several poignant scenes, like this one:

10 year old Sam has just lost his mother, and his stepfather is worried - he's looking really bad.
Dad: "Sam - what's on your mind?"
Sam: "If I tell you and you can't do anything about it - is it OK?"
Dad: "Yes, of course".
Sam: "Dad I'm in love and she doesn't even know I exist."
Dad (taken aback): "Aren't you a little young to be in love?"
Sam: (glares): "No!"
Dad: "Well, Ok ... uh.. anyways I'm glad you told me. I thought it was something worse."
Sam: "Worse? What can be worse than the agony of being in love?"

So there you have it. Nothing can be worse. Or better.

And even if you do find 'The One' and make him/ her yours for life, be prepared for 'more than friends' feelings to arise with someone else, at some point.

The days when women met only dhobis and sabziwallahs and men sat with fat munshis behind the counters of shops are completely over.Temptation and interesting conversation lurks around every office corner!

As Psychology Today magazine notes:
Like every other kind of intimacy, the workplace variety brings with it the likelihood of sexual attraction. It is natural. It is inevitable, hard-wired as we are to respond to certain kinds of stimuli, although it sometimes comes as a surprise to those it strikes. But sexual attraction in the office is virtually inevitable for other reasons as well: The workplace is an ideal pre-screener, likely to throw us together with others our own age having similar socioeconomic and educational backgrounds, similar sets of values, and similar aspirations.

It also offers countless opportunities for working friendships to develop. As teams come to dominate the structure of the business world, the other half of a business team is increasingly likely to be not only a colleague with complementary skills and interests, but an attractive member of the opposite sex. As close as the collaboration between men and women workers can get at the office, it may be even more so outside it, as workers today function in an extended workplace of irregular hours and non-office settings. We are now more likely than ever, for example, to share the intimate isolation of business travel.

However, the article goes on to say:
"Sexual attraction can be managed. It is not only possible to acknowledge sexual attraction, but also to enjoy the energy generated by it--and without acting on it sexually."

Hmm. Right. Don't have your cake just look at it, imagine what it might taste like and channelise the imaginary calories into imaginary sex...

But seriously, of course we don't act on every impulse we get. And many attractions remain, known to both parties but not formally acknowledged. They just make life a little more interesting, but have the potential to make it all too complicated.

Best to let sleeping passions lie, than stare into each other's eyes and unravel the naked, boring truth.


  1. Best to let sleeping passions lie, than stare into each other's eyes and unravel the naked, boring truth.

    This reminds me of the phrase "He who stares into a girl's eyes hasnt been told the terrible truth"

    But seriously, of course we don't act on every impulse we get. And many attractions remain, known to both parties but not formally acknowledged. They just make life a little more interesting, but have the potential to make it all too complicated.

    This you never know.....hahaha

    Very well written, as usual.

  2. Rashmi,

    YOu can become a relationship consultant. Will be very helpful :)

  3. True about the energy generating thing. I always channelise it to write poems. Acts a proper inspiring fuel ;) It works wonders, I can actually some kind of invisible force gushing through my veins impelling me to get to some creative work.

  4. Why cant it just be clean friendship when you have someone back home trusting that my wife will never get attracted to another man.

  5. Rashmi - I am so tempted to be a spoiler and tell you what happens at the end of the Salaam Namaster movie - what happens to Saif... what happens to Preity.... but then should I?

    I have not seen the movie but someone ruined it for me and I thought of doing it for all of you ... but I decided against it now

  6. Nice post..!!

    Well...mohabbat aur jang mein sab jaayaz hai !!!
    ab mohabbat kaise bhi ho..after physical intimacy ya before ..hoti to mohabbat hi hai ..!!

  7. Very true. As usual, Rashmi has brought the omnipresent truth into words very vividly.

    It happens no. of times in evry1's lives. The real idea of speaking through eyes is enof for a person 2 skip a beat.
    N i feel its pretty obvious the moment one is interested in another, it is transparent. Its when the other person also responds when it becomes bliss, but the relationship doesn't always blossom due to some precarious reasons.
    I term it Ego Satisfaction, just enjoying the importance given by the opposite sex. But this is not a rule. Sometimes relationships do blossom.

    I hv been thinking on this point for quite some time. I heard this line in the movie "Hum Tum". it said" ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi acche dost nahi ban sakte. Saala pyaar beech main aa jaata hai".

    n i found it 2 b very true.
    wht say ppl? ne1 2 debate on it.


  8. 减速机 齿轮减速机 SEW减速机 摆线针轮减速机 蜗轮蜗杆减速机 interlining
    明星代言 明星经纪公司
    制动单元 铝壳电阻
    modern abstract art sofa manufacturer
    净水器 开水器 净水机 净水 软水机 软水 直饮机 家用净水 家用净水器 家用净水机 中央净水 中央净水器 水家装 水家电 水卫士 混合机
    过滤机 DHL快递 俄罗斯签证 回转支承 Laser marking
    保险箱 法兰 法兰标准
    polycarbonate sheet 回流焊 波峰焊
    压球机 注册上海公司 儿童摄影
    牛皮癣 皮肤病 制氮机
    食堂售餐机 校园一卡通
    学校一卡通 ic卡售饭机
    食堂售饭机 深圳一卡通
    广东售饭机 机电设备安装
    北京发票 代开发票
    餐饮发票 住宿发票
    网络电话 免费网络电话
    假发 补发
    织发 植发
    压滤机 板框压滤机
    蒸馏水机 纯蒸气发生器
    上海搬家公司 上海搬场公司
    大众搬家 大众搬场
    张家界旅游 香港旅游
    深圳旅行社 打包机
    收缩机 对讲机 电源模块
    售饭机 水控机 水控器
    萎缩性胃炎 neoprene laptop bags
    SEO优化 计量泵
    胃炎 胃病
    冷水机 冰水机
    北京特价机票 北京打折计票 北京国际机票
    北京机票预定 北京飞机票
    北京订机票 北京机票查询 饮料机械
    银杏 水培花卉 企业宣传片 空分设备
    化工泵 离心机
    电话交换机 程控交换机 集团电话 集装袋
    混合机 混合机
    混合机捏合机 捏合机
    捏合机导热油炉 导热油炉
    导热油炉 反应釜 反应釜
    反应釜 spherical roller bearing
    搬运车 搬运车 电动搬运车 油桶搬运车 堆高车 电动堆高车 半电动堆高车 堆垛车
    高空作业平台车 电动叉车 平衡重叉车 前移叉车 电瓶叉车
    韩国饰品批发 模块电源
    X架 超薄灯箱> 易拉宝 展柜制作
    代理服务器 游戏加速器 网络加速器
    网通加速器 电信加速器 电信网通转换器
    电信网通加速器 网通电信互转
    网通电信互通 网络游戏加速器
    美国VPN代理 美国独享VPN 美国独享IP
    pvc ceiling panel Spherical roller bearings
    安全鞋 劳保鞋 防砸鞋 电绝缘鞋 上海安全鞋 上海劳保鞋 江苏劳保鞋
    服装软件 服装管理软件 进销存软件
    进销存管理软件 服装管理系统 服装进销存软件
    进销存系统 进销存管理系统 免费进销存软件
    吉林中医 东北特产
    阳痿 阴茎短小 阴茎增大
    早泄 前列腺炎 阴茎增粗 阴茎延长
    国际机票 上海国际机票
    国际特价机票 国际打折机票
    砂磨机 砂磨机
    砂磨机 卧式砂磨机
    卧式砂磨机 卧式砂磨机
    三辊研磨机 三辊研磨机
    三辊研磨机 混合机 混合机
    混合机 锥形混合机 锥形混合机 锥形混合机 行星动力混合机 行星动力混合机 行星动力混合机 无重力混合机 无重力混合机 无重力混合机
    干粉砂浆设备 干粉砂浆设备
    干粉砂浆设备 捏合机 捏合机 捏合机 导热油炉 导热油炉 导热油炉 反应釜 反应釜 反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜 搪玻璃反应釜
    乳化机 涂料设备 干混砂浆设备 无重力混合机 胶体磨 涂料成套设备 双螺旋混合机
    北京婚庆 北京婚庆公司
    办证 呼吸机 制氧机
    亚都 亚都加湿器 亚都净化器
    饰品批发 小饰品批发 韩国饰品 韩国饰品批发 premature ejaculation penis enlargement
    安利产品 马来西亚留学
    网站优化 网站推广
    论文代写 代写论文
    拖链 防护罩 排屑机 塑料拖链 钢铝拖链
    深圳装饰 深圳装饰公司 深圳装修公司
    特价机票 打折机票 国际机票
    新风换气机 换气机 立式新风换气机 风机箱 新风系统 能量回收机
    搅拌机 混合机 乳化机
    毛刷 毛刷辊 工业毛刷 刷子 钢丝刷
    涂层测厚仪 硬度计
    兆欧表 激光测距仪
    测振仪 转速表
    温湿度计 风速仪
    噪音计 红外测温仪
    硬度计 万用表
    美容院 美容加盟
    澳洲留学 澳大利亚留学
    酒店预定 北京酒店预定 北京酒店
    nail equipment nail products nail product nail uv lamp nail uv lamp nail uv lamps uv nail lamp nail brush
    nail file nail tool nail tip nail gel curing uv lamps lights
    万用表 风速仪
    红外测温仪 噪音计
    苗木价格 苗木信息 标牌制作 深圳标牌 北京儿童摄影 防静电鞋 淘宝刷信誉
    威海凤凰湖 威海海景房 大庆密封件
    打标机 淘宝刷信誉 TESOL/TEFL国际英语教师证书 英语教师进修及培训 北京快递公司 北京国际快递

  9. Faint hint of the love of friendship

    Faint hint of the love of friendship. There is a friend, I think that is a cheap wow gold kind of love and friendship between the feelings between, you will occasionally miss a time to silence him, reminds him, the warm heart, a beautiful, a moving. Sad and worried at the time, you will think of him, you hope that he can in your side, give you comfort and buy wow power leveling understanding to you, and you never talk to him, are you afraid of their own grief that would preclude him from peaceful life.

    You will be a song, a color, think of him, think of my wow gold his sincerity, he reminds me of the dedication, his mind had gone through the ups and downs together. With such a friend, you will treasure their lives and love their own lives, because you know I hope you had a good, he would like you to take care of themselves properly, and then to meet, he cheapest wow power leveling would like you to tell him you very happy.

    That the concept of secularism, in your mind, because his replica replica rolex presence has become pale and weak, you are only in the depths of the bottom of my heart for this man set up a small space, stick with that quietly happy memories, from the the very beginning you know that you will not have any love, it seems that talk about love on the desecration CHEAP wow power level of this emotion, this can only be a friendship. This is how in the end all about? You want to for many years, but no clue.

    You seldom have contacts in this long life, you meet the door may be only a few of the ten thousandth time, but in each other's hearts retain a miss, one asked, even if he went to the ends of the earth, even after many, many years, even BUY power leveling when the meet again, has long been a non-object is not, you still remember back as a profound, and this has been sufficient.

    Sometimes life will calm a dry, maybe you will fall into the dry I replica rolex replica did this, perhaps what you do not have love, perhaps early HUAFA, full sideburns pale, but with such a friend, in the your life will ripple slightly, a little color, do you think of him. He remembered the quiet, perhaps the Health and cheap lotro gold the WHO will not forget.

    Am grateful for you in this world, there is such a person, he is replica rolex not around you, he did not do anything for you, but you hope that he would have been very good, long life, happiness well-being ... ...

    Am glad you had a feeling like that, pure and long, in this complex CHEAPEST power leveling world, there are such a friend, it is worth to cheap rs gold lbless you to miss ... ...


Disqus for Youth Curry - Insight on Indian Youth