Customer service ha ha ha

The ads depict bank executives who care so much for you that they bring out a laddoo for you, Coz it's your birthday.



Well, if they spent a little less on laddoos and on advertisements, they just might be able to provide what customers really want - like working ATMs.

This afternoon 3 out of 4 ATMs in a large branch in Vashi were not working. The 4th was disbursing cash in dribbles (40 notes).

One or more of these machines is usually not working - every other time you go there.

The executive sitting under the 'complaints' desk is non-responsive. I fill out a receipt book kind of form (carbon copied) - and she non-chalantly mentions that "We don't maintain the ATMs, some other company does it..."

Ah, kitna karti hai company 'khayaal aapka'.

Ultimately, the gent in the 'wealth management' section was kind enough to agree there is a problem. Not just with ICICI but all ATMs in the Thane-Vashi belt. And he will definitely tell the Branch Manager to look into it.

Well, another shining example of customer service is the Reliance Big Flix store. Three days ago - it was functioning as usual, inside Reliance Webworld. Today, all shelves are empty.

Apparently customers were informed by sms that the store will be shutting down. Why? Because the entire Webworld is shutting down, in a month.

Okay.

But couldn't the boy at the counter tell customers who were visiting the shop to pick up or return DVDs (yes, they have home delivery but some of us are just old fashioned).

At the very least, could someone have put up a print out announcing the same?

No, sir.

And while I am at it, let me rant a bit about Kishore Biyani's Food Bazaar chain of stores. I know it's a little desi, but I've always had a soft spot for this store. Despite the arrival of HyperCity I would still drop in at times - but not any more.

First of all, there is a new rule under which ladies purses must be zipped and sealed into a transparent plastic bag. Before you enter the store.

I find it cheap and silly - agreed shoplifting may be a problem, but how much can one shoplift in a purse that too in a store atta, dal and phal-subzi? What was the magnitude of the problem - can someone from Future Group kindly share?

To me, it is a sign that all izz not well at Food Bazaar - and possibly most other modern retailers. That's when you look for where to cut corners, save a little here and there - at the expense of the brand. And loyalty of the customer.

Apart from the purse issue, there are others. Many niche brands which Food Bazaar once stocked - which I liked to buy - are no longer there. I bet some consultant did a study recommending the 'long tail' of products which sell slowly and therefore are less profitable, can be axed.

Well then what is the difference between a supermarket and a kirane ka dukaan? Sure, the price conscious customers who want to save Rs 73 on a bill of Rs 1100, and get a plastic mug free - they will still come.

But if someone else like Reliance Fresh offers them Rs 83 off on the same basket of goods, they would happily go there.

All you get is a price war that no one can win. People like me go back to our local slightly exotic foods rakhne wala kirana(takes far less time at the cash register!)

And oh, there are three Food Bazaars within a 1 km radius of my home - all of which are mostly empty. Why not close two of them and have one, smooth-as-silk managed store?

Well, bolne se dil halka hota hai. So bol diya. Ab halke kadmon se ja rahi hoon... park mein sair karne.

Jai Maharashtra, Jai Hind.