Chak De Kudiyaan - II

"We live in the same house, yet my 14 year old daughter sent an email requesting an appointment as she felt it was the only way she could meet me. It shook me up."
- Indra Nooyi, CEO PepsoCo worldwide, speaking to the Economic Times

Ironically, I read these words late last night, just after my daughter flopped off to sleep waaaay past her bedtime. Her reason for staying up most days: You came home late again.

I haven't got an email from her yet but this essay she penned recently for Hindi class on "Meri ma' was an interesting insight into the world as it looks from her side of the dining table.

"Meri ma bahut acchi hai.
Wo mujhe bahut pyaar karti hain...
Meri ma ravivaar ko khana banati hain".

Actually I would amend that to "kabhi kabhi ravivar ko..." but hey, I'll accept her version.

So what's the point I'm making? Just that it doesn't seem to ever get 'easier'. Kids need you at age 1, age 3, age 6, age 9 - and far beyond that. So when is the 'right time' really, for women to get back and give all to their chosen professions...

When the other parent chooses to stay home and shoulder family responsibilities instead, perhaps. But that is something we don't even sit down and discuss. As I scanned through yet another Business Today 'Top 25 women in Business' list a couple of days ago, I wondered if any of them have such an arrangement.

If they do, it's a well kept secret.

I mean at least one very high profile banker kind of fits this bill but she's never talked about this aspect of her life publicly. No glory - in India - being known as 'Mr Carly Fiorina'.

In fact in India most of the women on the 'look how we've come' list seem to have spouses with equally high profile and high pressure careers. Obviously there are grandmoms and maids in the picture but that kid is probably gonna need to send two emails...

So what's the answer?
Yes, men can't have babies but do they have the guts to 'downsize' if their wives are obviously more talented or more driven than they are?

Are women okay with having a husband who looks after the stuff 'moms have always done' without being racked by guilt?

And if they are, can the rest of the world please stop wondering '"Is there something wrong with this guy - why is he not 'working'??"

If only we could move beyond our roles - as defined by society and our egos - as defined by our insecurities.

If only...

We could at least admit there is a huge problem instead of putting on a smiley facade. As top cop, tough woman Kiran Bedi recently admnitted in an interview to British writer Zerbanoo Gifford:

"If I were to be reincarnated and had to do it all over again, I would want the same mother and father but not necessarily the same husband. There's room for improvement there..."

Wonder what Mr Bedi has to say, in response.

Previous post: Chak de kudiyaan

Chak de kudiyaan

Much after the world and their uncle has seen Chak de India and moved on to the Next Big Thing, I finally saw the movie. And my God, what a film!

Bschools are planning case studies. And of course it is a lesson in team building and all that jazz. But to me, the defining moment of the Chak De was when Preeti Sabharwal asks boyfriend Abhimanyu Singh,"Aur mera career?"

And Singh, Vice Captain of the Indian cricket team replies,"Kahan cricket aur kahan tumhara yeh gilli danda.."

Which sums up the overall Indian attitude to women pursuing careers. Shaadi ke pehle, zaroor. Zaroor, beti, you must get an education. You can work, no problem.

Shaadi ke baad? Well, jo aapke sasural wale chahein. And as Vidya Sharma puts it so beautifully in the film,"Ab parivaar wale bahu chahte hain."

No doubt many of these women do work. But not to full capacity or potential. "Your husband's career comes first..." "Women, you know, must make sacrifices..." "Family comes first..." blah blah blah.

And yes, there are women who willingly choose a supportive and nurturing role but there are many many others who downsize their ambitions, clip their wings, bury their dreams.

Whether it's a Preeti - a modern young woman who has chosen her own partner (on the surface, a modern, metrosexual kind of man). Or a Vidya, who seems to have married into a more traditional family but was assured playing hockey 'would not be a problem'.

But it is a problem when she refuses to leave the camp to attend a wedding... after all 'log kya kahenge'?

To be recognised as an individual - not a daughter, wife or mother - is the secret desire of every young woman in India. And that's what Chak De captures so beautifully, without being a 'feminist' film.

Chak De captures the new face of feminism which is to wow the world with your achievements. Earn respect - don't beg or whine for it. And make a statement but have fun even as you're doing it.

This is such a huge change in attitude from the films with feminist themes in an earlier era. The kind which featured Deepti Naval, Shabana Azmi and other arthouse actresses. Oppressed, suppressed, depressed - until they one day walk out into the sunset and the audience walks out in relief.

Cut to Chak De. There's energy, there's hope. There's the idea that you can have your cake and eat it. If you're smart, and keep your head.

Take the match between the men's team and the women's team. Although technically, the Chak De team lost the battle, they actually won the war by earning the respect of the opponent. The chakle-belan waali team proved it meant business.

It's much the same in a regular career. Whether in medicine or management women still have to prove they are ready for the 'World Cup' - the higher level at which the game is played.

Secondly, women are often their own worst enemies. The back biting and ego issues in Chak De are oh-so-real. Ultimately the team won only when Komal and Preeti decided to co-operate. And Bindiya swallowed her pride to play as one with the team, giving them the benefit of her experience.

So in the real world, women need to make friends and allies to get ahead. You can't do it alone. By putting aside their egos both Komal and Preeti scored a goal each in the final. And both goals were crucial to the win.

Lastly, you don't have to become 'one of the boys'. I think the Australian team was deliberately given this athletic look (even in evening dress they all looked so manly!). In sharp contrast the Indian team was tough on field but also soft and feminine in saris.

The point being that yes, you can choose to become like a man to succeed in a man's world. Or you can balance the yin and the yang and yet get the job done just as well.

Like any sports film, Chak De is a cracking Underdog-wins-the-day, Unity-is-Strength kind of story. But writer Jaideep Sahni makes it something more than that as well. As with Bunty aur Babli, which captured the bubbles of aspiration across small town India, Chak De is a reflection of a prevailing undercurrent.

The hopes, dreams and ambitions of millions of our young women.

Of course there are other, important subtexts. Such as India taking on the firangs and beating them on their own turf. ("Pehli baar ek gore ko tiranga lehraata hua dekh raha hoon" is a bit of a cheesy dialogue but at a symbolic level it works).

The pain of a Muslim whose allegiance to India is in doubt because of a loss on the sports field. "Uske jaise to partition ke time hi Pakistan chale jaate to accha hota" is a telling piece of dialogue...

And of course the pure patriotic angle. Who or what is really 'Indian'? After 60 years of Independence many think all south Indians are the same. And anyone with Chinese features surely can't be a fellow citizen!

Jana Gana mana may not recognise a Jharkhand or a Mizoram but Chak De India does. Making it an updated anthem of an upbeat India.

Manisha Girotra: Banker with a difference

I rarely stay tuned to CNBC for long stretches. Coz I don't follow stocks (on a daily basis) and neither do I care for stuffy corporate types.

But I recently caught a very good interview with Manisha Girotra, head of UBS. Manisha has been the lead investment banker on some of the biggest transactions of the year: Vodafone-Essar, Hindalco-Novelis, UB-Whyte and Mackay, to name a few.

Manisha was relaxed and candid, giving some interesting insights into the deal making process. But the fag end, where the interview got into personal territory was the most revealing. Here's an excerpt from the transcript:

Q: Some day her deal making experiences will make for a best seller maybe with a slim chapter on what it is like to be a woman in the old boys club of banking.

Manisha Girotra: I think it is tougher at the home, in personal life it is tougher because you still have the responsibilities that you have at home. So to that extent, it is a huge personal day-to-day juggle but in the outside world, you are only as good as what you produce. You will be as well regarded or disregarded as a banker whether a male or female if you do not come up with the right ideas, aren't able to come across credibly and knowledgeably and I think that mindset of "oh we do not deal with woman" has changed.

I remember twelve-thirteen years ago in Delhi when I started going to these public sector companies and ministries, nobody would shake my hand, they used to say Namaste to me and they all used to think that I am someone's secretary who has come in to take notes. They used to ask, Sahaab kab aa rahe hain?" When I used to say that no there is no Sahaab, this is it; they used to get psyched. From that, it has come a long way.

Q: You have to ever compensate?

Manisha Girotra: Maybe initially yes, but not now. I think my team will tell you - I work the least. There is some upside of working seventeen years.

Q: Most women would feel pressure to be in a job like this, you are not in straight jacketed suits, you are lot more easy, casual comfortable, friendly, warm, I am just wondering has it been a battle to retain that, keep that, maintain that, did you ever feel pressure that I need to fit into this little groove of heart investment banker?

Manisha Giotra: We have taken for annual trainings to fit into that two years ago, but clearly they did not train you well. When you start training from 1994 onwards, you are basically trained on how to walk, talk, eat, present, everything because you are expected to be straight jacketed, for the first two-three years all analysts go through a very strict training programme.

So I went through that too but at the end of the day, I always wanted to remember this is a job and I am doing it because I enjoy it and I love every minute of it and then if I am not happy through that process then what is the point.

Q: I understand, your husband is in a conflicting space because he is also in the banking business and there are these cute stories we hear of how the two of you stay away from conflict at home, I will allow you to give us the story because I do not want to give it away?

Manisha Girotra: My husband and I met at work and we both compete for businesses. We are used to competing for business because we have been doing it for the last fourteen-fifteen years, all our clients know that we are husband and wife and that is quite comfortable.

It is quite a joke actually, at times. But I think because we are in the same business, we respect each other; we know that professional lives need to be kept away Having said that, we still take our calls from our own bathrooms, we do not let anyone hear anything, so we have double barrel doors. We keep it very seriously; anyway after thirteen-fourteen hours work day, you do not really want to take work home.

Wow. Talk about maintaining your individuality, focus and ambition. Although separate, sound proof bathrooms... and competing for the same deals... sounds super stressful!

P.S. I also like her dress sense :)

from left to right: Falguni Nayar (Kotak), Manisha Girotra (UBS), seated: Dr Swati Piramal.

Book review: Earning the Laundry Stripes

You read a book and think, "Hey, I could write better!" So you write it. Better, or worse? That's for the public to decide.

Here are reviews of three recent books which are not the 'first of their kind', but second or third in their respective genres. Okay, genre may be overstating it - they're all part of the 'Books about People Like Us' genre.

The point is, the specific situation has been written about before. So the author can't rely on the novelty factor- the book itself has to have dum. Let's see how they stack up...

1) Earning the Laundry Stripes by Manreet Sodhi Someshwar

The book which did it first - Piece of Cake by Swati Kaushal

Similarities: Both are books about fesity young women managers making it in a man's world. You also get a peek into the inner workings @ large MNCs (Swati's book was set in Nestle, Manreet's in HLL). Coincidentally, both authors are IIM Calcutta graduates, currently living abroad (and you thought IIMC attracts only mathematical types!).

Differences: Piece of Cake was a light read - which is great- but it was too heavily inspired by Bridget Jones. The main character - Minal Sharma - was a little bit unreal. Earning the Laundry Stripes has far more depth and better sketched characters.

This could be because Piece of Cake took a more comical tone while Laundry Stripes is sub titled: "A Woman's Adventures in Hindustan Lever's All-Boy's Sales Club'. But that does not mean it's deadly serious - there is enough wry humour and a few comical situations as well.

Where Piece of Cake scores is with its bright and attractive cover. Laundry Stripes is grim, uninviting - and textbooky - in contrast. I don't judge a book by its cover, but plenty of folks at bookstores will...

What I liked about the book: It is a very authentic account of what you would go through as a management trainee in HLL. And this authenticity is drawn from personal experience. Manreet was in fact 'the first woman recruited into the Sales function of Hindustan Lever after a hiatus of 20 odd years'.

Travelling through those dusty towns selling saabun-tel-shampoo she collected her own stripes and through this book you relive that experience. (Although, please note, it's not an autobiography).

It all starts with the training period at 'Gulita' where crusty veterans thunder, "You MBAs.. what do you know of upcountry India, rural sales or sales, even!" Onto the initial months working as a Territory Sales In charge (TSI) covering mofussil towns. Requirements of the job include mugging up the price of every Lever brand across 40 SKUs (Stock Keeping Units). And may entail travelling in a bus next to a goat, staying in spooky local hotels and your skin smelling like 'Rinsurfvim'!

Of course, the 'you are a woman' factor is there at every stage . From Chauhan saab, the sales officer wanting to know,"Madam why didn't you join Citibank?" to the traders who are shocked to see a 'muhnager bai' but recover sufficiently to declare,"If Mrs Gandhi can be the prime minister of the country, then why not a woman in the Sales field?"

Noor is eventually posted in Mumbai, under the venerable warhorse Sam. Here she learns the battle manouevres for grabbing 'shallpiss' (shelfspace), increasing market penetration, expanding coverage and other assorted 'strategic bullshiting'. The truth of the matter, she realises, is that 'it was all to do with human relations... if those were handled well, sales would automatically follow."

So Noor turns her handicap into an advantage - along with all the regular stuff ASMs (Area Sales Managers) do, she bonds with the families of her distributors. She decides to be woman in a man's world, and not become 'one of the boys.'

Now and then Noor contemplates the difference between herself and the majority of Indian women, more so in Etah village (where all HLL trainees spend time understanding 'rural India').

Observing the wives and sisters of her distributors, who toil their days away in the kitchen, she ponders, "We managed our respective world with expertise and skill, but the worlds themselves were entirely different... I have been fortunate enough to have the choice of which world to adopt, a choice they did not have."

Of course, life is part choice and part destiny. After all, Noor herself has probably been recruited by HlL because a firang manager came to India and was shocked to see that a company that 'produced for and marketed to women' did not have a single woman manager in Sales and Marketing...

Apart from the 'S & M (Sectarian and Macho) world of sales' dope, there are some interesting sub-plots. There's the Punjabi-in-love-with-South-Indian, families refusing to accept it angle. A roommate with a good-for-nothing model boyfriend. And a policeman who follows Noor around, blackmailing her for 'five Gandhis'.

Largely, it works.

The one bit that's shaky is the author's attempt to comment on religion, communal riots etc using the character of Mehmoodbhai. It seems a little forced, a conscious attempt to 'make a statement' rather than a natural - or necessary - part of the story.

A more subtle point is made by Sam when he comments, "I am a Parsi. Trade feels happy with Bawaji, neither Parsi nor Hindu... It will help you too, being a member of the minority community, twice over. A woman and a Sikh, your dazzle will confound them. By the time they recover, you will be on your way to being a brand manager."

On that note, let me recommend this book for all MBAs and MBA wannabes keen on marketing careers, , and anyone looking for higher IQ chick-lit. Although you may not actually be 'dazzled' by this world you get a peek into... Kaafi mundane and boring laga yeh kaam mujhe!

Magar book padhne layak hai.

A technical point: Manreet joined HLL in 1992, but the book is set in contemporary India, maybe 2006. One might ask - has anything changed in these 15 years? From what I hear, HLL is still mostly an all-boys club with the odd female manager. Has the experiment, then 'failed'?

That is another long story - I shall save it for another day.

Earning the Laundry Stripes, published by Rupa & co, Rs 195. This book was sent to me for review by Manreet through her PR agency. I would have bought it anyways - but am yet to see it at Crossword.

Tomorrow: review of 'Above Average' by Amitabha Bagchi, another book about an IITian coming of age.